Liar

27

"You can't just keep taking time off Victoria! How the hell are you supposed to run this place if you're not here?"

"I'm not the one running it Dad!" 10 weeks I've been taking every Friday afternoon off work and tomorrow would be no different, no matter how much dad wanted to fight me on it. Nothing happened on Friday afternoons and I needed time to separate work from everything else before going into my session with Dr. Clarke. Every session recently he hadn't allowed me to talk about work unless it was about something relating to my dad or Emmett. Specifically, because he wanted me to see that life wasn't entirely about working. They are rough. These sessions usually knock me out afterwards and I'm so fucking lucky I have Ash around to help me through it.

He promised no judgement, no questions and no expectations and he'd stuck by that. He had stuck by everything he'd said 2 months ago and it made me feel confident in him as a friend. Something I had never had before. A friendship where I knew it was friendship. My relationship with Asher wasn't exactly clearly lined but I have never been this comfortable with how I stand with someone. I didn't want to run or hide or block him out right now. He hadn't given me a reason to, nor did he allow me to. In the first few weeks of therapy sessions, I was trying to find some kind of retreat after them. I wanted to just sit and stare at the wall but Ash would wait for me outside and we'd go home where he'd order food and refuse to let me be alone for more than 20 minutes.

We'd made little traditions now that gave me space to process everything quietly but I wasn't alone. Dr. Clarke had said that it was a huge step in the right direction, being open to be around someone after sessions because we were breaking down my whole thought process and it was leaving me barely able to function.

Making changes in therapy isn't like being given some magical pill that takes everything away. All the issues were still there. I still over worked myself, I still had a crappy relationship with my family, I still had people bitching about me at every given opportunity. What it was doing though, was breaking down the reasonings behind each problem one at a time and fixing them. Slowly. So slowly it didn't feel like there was even any progress being made. But when I could stand here and back my corner with my dad screaming at me, I knew for certain it was working.

"You will be!"

"And when I am then I'll work it out. I cannot be missing these appointments dad."

"I don't understand why you won't tell me what appointments Victoria. Because if you think going and getting your nails done is more important than being in the office then you don't deserve to be here."

"I'm not getting my nails done dad." Slow breathing Tori. Nice and easy.

"Then what are you doing? I notice you're spending an awful lot of time with Asher Caswell since you collapsed as well. I knew that boy was no good for you. The whole Caswell family are a fucking nightmare. Unprofessional and just generally shouldn't be in business. I don't know how Mark is still running the place. His son is not coming near this place Victoria. Selling art. In what world is that going-"

"Stop." I crossed my arms, all coping mechanisms flying out the window as I tried to keep myself calm. "Don't you dare talk about Asher like that. Or his family for that matter." Dad raised his eyebrows, daring me to defend them. "Just because you two hated each other in school dad is nothing against Mark or Asher or their business. I was there. I looked at everything in that business. He runs it phenomenally. As for Ash, do you even know enough about what he does to comment? He sold a sculpture last week for 2 million dollars dad. He made a profit of just under one and a half mil. That's more than I have in savings. Just dropped into his account overnight. Don't you dare sit there and say that I shouldn't be friends with him when he's the only person in the entire fucking world who doesn't fucking hate me for turning Leon down over a year ago." I grabbed my bag in a huff, feeling a little lightheaded and needing to get some air. "I don't care what the consequences of me looking after myself are anymore dad. I'm nearly 26 and every single memory I have of being young comes back to work. It's not healthy. And I sure as hell aren't going to marry Leon St. James just because he's the only guy who has shown interest in being with me long term or because you get on with his parents or because his money is old enough for you to deem him suitable. I'm not going to marry someone because it's what's suitable or what's right dad. I'll marry someone eventually who wants to be with me because I'm me. Someone who doesn't just fucking drop it on me. And if you want to keep shitting on me because Leon wasn't that, then I fucking quit because this job isn't fucking worth it anymore." His office door slammed shut as I stormed through the office.

"VICTORIA. GET BACK HERE."

"What's going on?" Emmett stood beside the reception desk, piping hot coffee in hand as he looked between me and dad. I didn't answer, pushed through the doors and ran down the stairs. Probably not the best idea for someone already feeling like they're suffocating but I couldn't stand the idea of being in the lift right now.

I started walking. No idea where I was going but it wasn't even in the direction of anything that made sense to me. I couldn't see great, trying to keep my tears in but they were filling my eyes quickly. That's another thing I'd found a lot more common since starting therapy. I was crying almost constantly. I don't think there was a day in the past 3 months that I hadn't cried. Even if it was a handful of tears on Ash's shoulder. When I reached the water's edge, I dropped my bag onto the side, rifling through it for my phone so I could call Ash as I continued walking wherever I was going.

"Hey Tori!"

"Ash?" I sniffled.

"Tor? Babe what's wrong?" I looked at my watch scowling at myself for calling him.

"I uh- didn't you have a meeting?"

"Where are you?"

"I don't know. I'm just walking around. Sorry I forgot to check what time it was before I called."

"Turn your location on for me Tor."

"Why? I'm okay. I just wanted to - I wanted to check in."

"Mhm. I just want to see where you are."

"You're in a meeting."

"No, I'm not."

"It's quarter past 3. You said you had something with your dad-"

"Location Tori. Please babe."

"Why?"

"Because there could be something fun around you but I can't tell you to walk there if I don't know where you are. Like if I wanted to ask you to get me something from a bakery I like or if we wanted something for dinner." I grumbled, pulling my phone back and sending him my location. "Thank you. Okay let's see. Why are you down by the Thames?" He chuckled at me as I sniffed again.

"I don't know."

"You can see The Shard right?" I looked around, humming at him when I saw it. "Walk away from it. Just stay on the water edge."

"Where are you sending me?"

"To a watery grave." I'd fucking do it willingly right now. "Just walk babe. You want to walk so walk and we can talk."

"But your meet-"

"It got rescheduled last minute. Are you walking?"

"Yeah."

"Good."