unfamiliar feelings ~ Asuka x Shiroi (oc's)

{15}

For some reason, even after me and Ume finished the project, Asuka still hasn't reached out or anything to me..I mean, she doesn't have to but I would like her to reach out for once instead of me having to do it all the time.
We have been hanging out as usual in school but we dont do the daily studies in the library anymore and Im a bit too afraid to ask after last week. Asuka really did not seem happy at all everytime she saw me alone with Ume, she actually looked a bit pissed, maybe I accidently did something wrong without knowing!

Maybe this is all in my head, why am I being such a pussy and why dont I just ask?

Tanaka Shiroi
hey random question but uh are you mad at me or something?
we havent done the daily studies this whole week and its already thursday...:(

Ina-chan
Nope, why would I be haha
I figured you didn't have time since you've been so busy with Ume lately so I just didn't ask

Tanaka Shiroi
ohhhh is someone jealous 😘
im kidding
i am free though so could we start those again? i dont particually enjoy studying but with you its a bit less tiresome

Ina-Chan
I am NOT jealous.
I make everything less tiresome, Im just like that

Tanaka Shiroi
ok dont get ahead of yourself

Ina-Chan
Nuh uh

Tanaka Shiroi
you learned that from me this isnt fair

I dont actually remember when the last time was since we had a fun text conversation like this but it felt great.

Asuka's Pov:
Reading the messages again, I came to a realisation. Maybe I was a little bit jealous? But I shouldnt be, they've only known eachother for...3 weeks. 3 WEEKS? Ume's first day was so long ago yet it feels like it was only yesterday. Time passes by fast, huh.

I wasn't sure how to feel about this jealousy so I decided to ask Ichika about it, she gives some great advice. But I'd rather talk to her than text her about this, maybe I can express myself better when talking about my feelings instead of writing them down..

--an hour later--

"Thanks for meeting me here Ichika." I said, sitting on the bench infront of the lake with Ichika. This is where we met for the first time in years 2 months ago.

"Of course. Im here for you!" She said with a smile and I felt bad for wanting to tell her about all of this, I dont want to drag her into the world of my feelings..
"Now spit out what you wanted to tell me." Ichika out of the blue said seriously.

"Im really bad at expressing my feelings but uh I guess...I think Im jealous of Ume? No that sounds wrong-"
"You weren't great at hiding it." Ichika cut me off while giggling. What?
"What do you mean?"
"Ive known you long enough to know that jealous face of yours. Remember when I got some weird literature book on my birthday and you told me how lucky I was to get that? Yeah, your expression told me everything I needed to know. You were so jealous! You wanted that book so badly, its the reason why I gave it to you at some point." I completely forgot about that, it was so long ago..
"Oh...so you think Shiroi and Ume noticed as well? I honestly dont even know why Im jealous.."
"Are you sure about that? Because the reason I think you're jealous is because you like her." What in the world is she talking about?
"Who? Shiroi?" I asked cluelessly.
"OF COURSE SHIROI-CHAN!" She almost yelled at me as I jumped back a little.
"No no I dont, she's just a close friend!" I replied back a bit defensively.
"That's what they all say. Just admit it Asuka, you like her. You guys were hanging out so much after that one thing that happened on the rooftop between you guys, still dont know what happened but I dont want to know anymore, and remember that one time you guys went to the mall together? I saw you staring at her in the caffee non stop and I was laughing so much ftom the inside, it was so obvious you liked her and that really confirmed my theory."
I was speechless, I simply had no response and was a bit shocked actually. I stayed silent, thinking about everything and about my feelings about Shiroi. Im no expert at this but my crush for Ichika did disappear soon after Shiroi and I got closer. I hate always being so unsure about my own feelings.

"You got no comeback, I see...Im right, arent I?"
"I....I think ...so." I answered and a huge grin formed on Ichika's face.
"YAY! I KNEW IT! Ahem *cough cough* anyways. So this might be the reason why you are jealous, but it happens when you like someone and they spend more time around another person. Trust me, Ive watched enough videos to know heh." She said the last proudly, as if it was something to be proud of lol.
"But I dont want to feel jealous. I really like Ume and shes a great friend to me but I just cant help feel a little bit of envy when I see her with Shiroi...now that we're talking about it..do you think Ume...likes Shiroi as well?" I finally accepted the feelings I had for Shiroi, I really did like her no matter how much I pretended 'hating' or 'being annoyed' at her.
"Well we dont know anything about her love life nor about her type, I mean for all we know she's actually straight? You could ask her yourself though, or should I maybe do that?" Ichika offered and I slightly nodded, being a bit ashamed.

"Haha I guess I will. But hey, even if she does, you have known Shiroi longer than her....so I mean TECHNICIALLY it shouldn't be a crime if you confessed to Shiroi before her and at the end, it also just depends on how Shiroi feels about you both. I wouldn't want either of you guys to get hurt but theres also a chance Shiroi likes.....ME. Joking of course, theres a chance she just doesnt like anyone right now so that would suck, but it'd suck for you BOTH." Ichika was rambling again about all of this and I wasn't sure how to feel about the things she just said but oh well, I'll take anything.

What if Ume liked Shiroi and what if Shiroi liked her back? I doubt it but theres always a chance of that happening. But theres also a chance of Shiroi not liking me back and I just now realized how that would make me really sad. Ugh so much talk and recognizing my feelings today!

I just hope Ume doesnt like Shiroi because I dont want there to be a conflict between us where we 'fight' over Shiroi or something like that. I don't want her to get hurt if she realizes that I also like her ... but I shouldn't jump to the conclusion that she does like Shiroi, we still dont know that. I dont even know if I ever want to confess to Shiroi...ugh Im overthinking too much about this topic again, I should just see what'll happen and maybe I'll eventually move on from Shiroi like I did with Ichika! Although the feelings do feel stronger this time...