unfamiliar feelings ~ Asuka x Shiroi (oc's)

{19}

Days, Weeks passed and my feelings wouldn't change, they wouldn't go. No, they grew stronger and I couldn't stop it. No matter how much I tried being supportive of Ume with her feelings, I just couldn't be genuinely happy for her. She was so positive that Shiroi likes her back that she told Ichika and me about it. At first, we were a bit shocked, Ichika shocked from finding out that Ume had a crush on Shiroi and I was shocked from finding out that her feelings had grown stronger just like mine. This wouldn't end well and I knew that, yet I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't ignore my feelings like I did in the past again, we all know that only ended badly. But I also didn't want to lose Ume's trust by confessing to Shiroi and being a bad friend. This was a bad dilemma and the solution was hard to find.

"I have an idea!" I came back to my senses as I was sitting next to Ichika on a bench at the lake again.
"Huh?"
"I could just ask Shiroi about her feelings, if she has a crush on anyone. If we find out who she likes, or if she even likes anyone, we could maybe solve your dilemma?"

"No matter who Shiroi chooses or who she doesn't choose, the outcome will always end up with someone hurt, wether they show it or not."

That's what I wanted to say.

"Sounds like a good plan, I cant say that it'll solve it but it would be good to know if Shiroi likes anyone. If she does like Ume, like how she suspects, that would be great wouldn't it?" I said.
"What? It wouldn't be for you!" Ichika said back. She's right, it wouldn't be.

"Ichika? Asuka? What a surprise seeing you here." We turned around by the sudden familiar voice and saw Shiroi standing behind us, slowly approaching us.
"Oh, I was actually just about to leave haha." I nervously chuckled and Ichika looked at me confused. I gave her a sign, telling her to talk to her now since it was the perfect chance.
"OH! Right she was! But how about you and me talk for a bit Shiroi? Come come, sit down." Ichika said in a creepy way, giving her hand signs to sit down. Shiroi laughed at her saying that and I chuckled.
"If you insist." Shiroi sat down after I got up.
"See you guys tomorrow?" I said before the two also said their goodbyes. Now it was time to just wait for Ichika to tell me later how their talk went.

And that's what I did, wait and wait for hours. Waiting for a response from Ichika.

Ichika
Sorryyy I just saw your message
my phone was dead..

Inada Asuka
It's okay

Ichika
sooo funny story actually..
i promised Shiroi to not tell anyone about our talk but all i'll say is that she does indeed like someone

Inada Asuka
I forgot how loyal you were

Ichika
yeah im just like that

Inada Asuka
Still, thank you for that very useful information

Ichika
you owe me one now

Inada Asuka
Goodnight

So Shiroi does have a crush. Now I can only imagine it being one of us two, Ume and Me. Maybe it's Ichika for all I know but that seems unlikely. And she doesnt hang out with anyone else to be able to develop a crush on them, or have I underestimated her?

I realized how much Ive grown to understand and acknowledge my feelings that I didnt even recognize me anymore. I used to be so clueless and wouldn't care a single thing about these silly feelings like 'Love' or 'Happiness' or 'Sadness', stuff like that weren't important to me at all but look at me now, I am talking so much about my feelings and about others. I don't hate it though, it's good that Im doing this, isn't it? Shiroi was the one who had told me that acknowledging and letting out my emotions was a good thing and I trust her on that.

---

"I think I'll do it tomorrow...you know the cherry blossom tree right outside of the school? I think I want to do it there. My friends have told me that it would be the perfect place to confess. What do you think Ina-Chan?" Ume and I were walking around the school grounds and she kept talking about wanting to confess. It made me...happy seeing her excited. I know that every person who she confessed to, which are in total only 2, have always liked her back. Shiroi probably likes her back as well.

"That sounds great." I simply replied.

For some reason it took me a minute to realize that tomorrow was my deadline. I promised myself I would tell Shiroi, I didn't want to hide my feelings. Not again. But it would suck if I were to confess to Shiroi the same day as Ume. Ume still doesn't know that I also like Shiroi and that is obviously my fault but I never found the right time to, I didn't want to start a competition or hurt her.
Ugh what do I do? Why did I have to have feelings for Shiroi? It only made me...made me..

"Inada Asuka! Hello?"
"Im sorry, what were you saying?"
"Lets get back to class! We'll be late." I looked at my phone and she was right, we were going to be late.

I would like to say that if any of these past chapters have been confusing since Asuka started acknowledging her feelings for Shiroi, that is the point. Her thoughts may be complicated to read but that's how I wanted to express how she's really thinking. These feelings are unknown to her so she has a bit of a hard time to understand and comprehend all of this. Asuka is dealing with her thoughts in her own way. She may do things that aren't 'good' but that's just Asuka's character. I probably shouldn't write more or else I'll accidentally spoil something LMAO but I can promise a happy ending.