unfamiliar feelings ~ Asuka x Shiroi (oc's)

{16}

"I'm glad we're doing this again! I was worried you were actually mad at me or something haha." Shiroi and I finally met eachother at the library again to do another daily studying.
"Me too." I said calmly with a small smile on my face.
"But before we actually start studying, look what I got you!" She took something out of her tote bag and it was a small bag with a sugar donut inside. It was my favorite donut but I only told her about that once. She actually remembered.

"Oh, I didn't get you anything I- uh thanks!" I wasn't sure how to act around her anymore after my conversation with Ichika yesterday. It was all so much at once and it put me into overwhelming mode again.

"Aww you're flustered, how adorable." She said teasingly and I starting eating the donut as I covered my mouth. In a way, I was also hiding my cheeks.

"I just remembered, Ichika asked Ume about her type and if she was single, so weird right? Does Ichika want something from her haha?" Shiroi asked as we sat down at our usual seats. I looked at her in a weird way and answered:
"Uh yeah weird. Maybe she just wanted to know? I mean I was surprised when she said she was single, she's so pretty and has a great personality." Shiroi agreed with me and I realized the more I talk about her, the more Shiroi will think about her and honestly, I didn't want that.

"Anyways let's do the homework from today, we didn't get a lot today but I didn't understand the math homework.." I tried changing the topic.
"You don't? Let me explain it to you then." We took out our math books and she started explaining everything and I realized how close she was while talking, like, REALLY close. I couldn't focus no matter how hard I tried. Is this what I get for liking someone?

"Do you understand now?" She asked after a few minutes of explaining.
"I think I do, let me try solving this one." I tried but failed before Shiroi stepped in and slowly explained what my mistake was.
Her voice was so calm and soothing everytime she explained something in a serious matter, I always liked listening to that specific voice.

When you become aware of your feelings for someone, does it make you not be able to focus on anything else when you're around them and make you like them even more the longer you are around them?!

"Ohhh, so I basically-" I cut myself off and solve the next problem on my own. She clapped and told me I solved it correctly.
"Hah, im a Great teacher." She said proudly.
"No, I'm just a great student." I striked back and she just chuckled before saying:
"Yes you are, young lady!" In a funny voice.

This continued for a while while we were doing the math homework and it felt great again. I missed these and maybe I am desperate, it has only been a week without these daily studies, but I don't care. I just missed these fun talks with her.

"Hey I know I shouldn't tell you this but I have a strange feeling that Ume-Chan....might like me. Like, like like me." I promptly turned my head to her and gave her my full attention.
"Why do you say that?"
"I could be completely wrong though of course but it's the small signs she gives like flirting with me, always giving me compliments and always wanting to hang out with me. I mean I don't mind but it's interesting to see I guess?.." I didn't feel well, knowing this and there being a good chance of Ume liking her.
"Well...do you..like her...back?" I asked very quietly but loud enough for Shiroi to hear.
"I-" Shiroi was cut off by her phone ringing.

Shiroi immediately took it, trying to make her ringtone quieter. Her mother had called her and so she picked up.

"I am so sorry, I know we just started but there's an emergency at home and I really need to go home." She said in a hurry and I just told her to go quickly if it was an emergency.

She packed her stuff and left the library in a hurry. I was still standing infront of the table where me and Shiroi would sit and looked down at the doodles she drew in my notes book.

"She's so stupid" I mumbled and chuckled right after. I sat down and continued doing my homework until I was finished. It took a while to complete the harder ones but I did it and after half an hour, I was able to leave.

I took out my big headphones and walked to the bus station. I was listening to my usual stuff and didn't quite pay attention to my surroundings. I just walked and walked.

Waiting for the bus to come felt like hours but eventually it came and I entered it. As I entered, I noticed a brown haired girl in the back reading a book and realized who it was, Ume.

I walked towards her and sat down next to her, receiving her attention.
"Oh hi Ina-Chan. You're already done with Shiroi at the library?" She asked curiously and I nodded.
"She had some emergency at home and left in a hurry. Where are you going?" I asked.
"Going to the park with the lake, I was there a few weeks ago and it was so beautiful." I knew what lake she was talking about.
"Oh, that's near my home, we could go there together? I also enjoy it there." I suggested and she nodded in excitement.

"Thank god it's not so sunny and hot today, I hate sweating." We we're walking around the lake and enjoyed the nature around us.
"Me too, it's breezy so it's perfect."

We found a bench to sit down on and Ume started complaining about some of our classmates. They keep bothering her and asking her inappropriate questions.
I tried giving her advice to just ignore them and if it'd get worse she should go report them, like how I would do.

"I'll keep that in mind, thanks Ina-Chan." She said in a relaxed tone. Ume had beautiful brown eyes that would look even prettier in the sunlight and I noticed that while talking to her. I bet Shiroi likes her, how can you not?

She's the whole package and they've been hanging out more together recently. How can anyone not like her?? I really wouldn't be surprised if Shiroi liked her back and if they'd get together. She now knows that Ume is single and also into girls, so it'd be the perfect chance to ask her out now.

Maybe I could try asking Ume if she likes Shiroi.

"Hey uh Ume, weird question but...do you like anyone?" I didn't want to say any name specific.
"Actually...I think I do. But im not sure, we don't know eachother long enough yet for me to be 100% sure but they are very special to me." It's definitely Shiroi she's talking about, there's no doubt, right?
"Is it...Shiroi?" I asked very very quietly and she had to ask me to repeat it.
"Shiroi?! Is it Shiroi?" I Said that first part a bit louder and she looked at me with a shocked face.

"I guess I wasn't hiding it well huh?" I wasn't sure how to answer so I just shrugged my shoulders.
"Don't tell anyone though! I'm really not sure yet about this and I don't want to ruin my already good friendship with Shiroi.." I understood her and then it hit me, if I WERE to confess, and she wouldn't like me back, it'd ruin our friendship, wouldn't it?

"I promise i won't. How do you deal with that uh feeling by the way? And do you ever plan on telling her in the future?"
"You sure are asking quite a lot of questions haha. Well I tend to fall for people pretty quick so I'm used to it, it has become a big part of my life, you know having crushes non stop...And I'm not sure if I will, people usually confess to me first but I wanna see where this friendship goes first before deciding anything." Her answer made a lot of sense and it actually helped me understand her actions more. I hope I can learn not to be jealous of her and just admire her. I don't like jealousy but I just can't help it. It sucks and makes me feel ashamed for even feeling that way.

After our conversation I checked my phone and realized it was already 6pm. The sun was slowly but barely going down and I realized I should go home.

I parted ways with Ume and walked the rest of the way home alone. Throughout the whole walk, I just kept thinking about everything that happened the past 2 days. So much happened, well, mentally.
I honestly wasn't sure how to ask Shiroi to hang out anymore after last week but I'm glad she reached out. It gives me a bit of hope.