{18}

5 0 0
                                        

It was raining and I was heading to the hill with the cherry blossom tree on it. I was dripping wet but it didnt stop me from meeting the love of my life. I had sent Shiroi a letter earlier to meet me here, hopefully she still came despite the weather conditions. The letter told her about a secret admirer who wanted to meet up with her...knowing her, she would meet up with that person even if she didn't like anyone. She would be too curious and would want to find out.

I reached the top of the hill and was out of breath, hiding under the huge tree. I then looked up and saw Shiroi walking towards me. She was actually here, waiting for me during the rain.

"Asuka? Are you...my secret admirer?" She asked confused.
I was so nervous that I couldn't speak again. Nothing came out of my mouth as I held eye contact with her for way too long. It was getting weird and awkward the longer I stood here not speaking but I couldn't let a sound out. I must've looked so stupid, all wet and standing there like a stone.

"Asuka? Are you okay? Please answer me..." Shiroi started looking a bit worried for me and I knew I should say something now,  I couldn't back off of this now.
"Y-yes." I whispered under my breath.
"Did you say-"
"YES! I like you. I have for a long time now.." I finally said out loud and she slightly jumped at my response. I couldn't read her face as well as I usually could. I just hope that if she doesn't like me back, it wont destroy our close friendship. I cherish it a lot and I dont want to lose it. Ugh, why did I go through with this plan?

Shiroi stayed quiet for a bit too long and I became scared and anxious. She then had a grin on her face, a warm and welcoming smile. Was this good news?

"Inada Asuka. To tell you the truth...I-"

*BEEP BEEP*

FUCK. Why does this always happen. Always at the peak of my dreams I just have to wake up. This dream was so...beautiful too...I dont want to admit it but I cant help myself.

I get out of bed to stretch myself a bit and keep my mind off the dream I just had. Im still pissed about my interrupted dream but I needed to distract myself from it or else I will literally go crazy. I wish I knew how Shiroi felt about me, does she just see me as a close friend? I worry too much again, dont I ?

--at school--

"Who am I?" Someone put their hands infront of my eyes, covering them and asked me that question in a very deep voice.
"Shiroi." I said and she laughed, revealing herself.
"My deep voice was pretty good though, wasn't it?" She asked.
"Yeah yeah." I replied in a sarcastic way and she rolled her eyes. Her mood was very different from yesterday, hopefully whatever was bothering her is now gone.

We changed our shoes at the locked before walking to class together. She told me about a crazy dream she had, involving her stabbing someone with a knife multiple times in the back, but not because she necessarily wanted to. Her dreams are always scary and in a horrorish way yet she never watches any scary or horror movies.
She asked me if I had dreamt about anything but I just told her I didnt remember, which was obviously a lie.

The whole day I tried forgetting the dream but honestly, it was hard and it actually reminded me of a different dream I had. The dream where Shiroi was the secret admirer. The dream where she confessed her love to me on the exact same spot, under the cherry blossom tree. Both dreams had too many similarities that I couldn't figure out why. Dreams are so weird and confusing.

"Now you're the one who has been acting so weird all day. Im not complaining though, I find it cute." Shiroi and I were on the rooftop again, eating our lunch since the weather was so great. Ume was sick today and Ichika was in the girls bathroom. So like yesterday, we were all alone right now. Well except for the other students around us, having their own fun or something.

"What happened to make you so happy again?" I completely ignored her comment, not on purpose though.
"I guess I could tell you now...My father got into a really bad car accident last friday, you remember when I had to leave for an emergency? Yeah, that was when I received a phone call from my mother telling me my father was in the hospital. I was really worried since his wounds were very severe and...he got into a coma. The reason I acted like that yesterday was because of that." She explained in an expression that could only be sad. I felt bad for asking now. She didn't need to tell me but she still did and I appreciate her for trusting me this much.
"I am so sorry to hear about all of that...is your father okay now? Since you seem so... happy again?" I asked worriedly and she nodded.
"Yup, he woke up yesterday! I was so happy when I saw him awake again. The doctor told us that my father's recovery will take a long time but...as long as he's still here and he's going to be okay, im fine with that." I was glad, seeing that smile on her face again. I wasn't sure how to exactly answer so I gave her one of the muffins I baked, which had a cute smile on it with a heart. She seemed to like it, immediately gobbling it up in just mere seconds.

"HEY! You didnt give me any!" We heared Ichika yell.
"It's because you haven't earned it yet!" I replied and she rolled her eyes at me. I then decided to just give her one, not wanting to seem unfair.
"Ugh these are so good, since when do you bake so well?" She asked with a full mouth.
"Hey don-"
"Dont eat with a full mouth, we get it mom." Shiroi finished my sentence and I rolled my eyes as well. I mean Im just trying to teach them basic manners!

"What time is it? We should probably get back to class soon." I asked, not having my phone with me.
"Uhhhh...it is 12:34pm. We should probably get going, class starts in 6 minutes." Shiroi answered after checking her phone.
So we took our lunch boxes and started heading to our classroom. It took us about 2 minutes until we reached our classroom and as expected, it was full again with our (mostly) annoying classmates, whose names I still didnt know. Shiroi promised to teach me but we still haven't gotten to that, it's not like its that important anyway but I did want to spend more time with her...maybe this could be another excuse to hang out with her outside of school and our daily studies.

During class my whole mind was somewhere else again, hesitating to invite Shiroi over at my house later. Something was holding me back but I couldn't figure out what until it hit me. I was being cautious and weird around Shiroi all day and Im hesitating because I am aware of Ume's feelings towards her, even if its not a big deal. Am I really putting someone else's feeling over mine right now? I never thought I would be the person to do that with someone I don't know that well yet. Past me would be so confused right now. Confused why Im friends with 2 popular girls. Confused how I can have actual feelings for someone who used to partake in making my life miserable. If I could talk to her and answer the questions, I wouldn't even know how to start and how to explain. I guess I would just tell her that,

"Your life will get better, trust me."

unfamiliar feelings ~ Asuka x Shiroi (oc's)Where stories live. Discover now