Chasing Miss Conner •NEW VERSION•

XXXVI

Thirty-Six

"All Around Me"

By: Flyleaf

&

"Maybe"

By: Matthew Nolan

"I told you Becks, I'm perfectly fine going to school on my bike. You don't need to go out of your way to-," I sighed as the overprotective officer ranted that it was no big deal and she'd see me in five minutes. I grumbled a reply and hung up, running a hand through my hair, swallowing tightly. Most of my voice had come back, but it wasn't the same. My tone was raspier, which Juliette assured me was unbearably sexy, but it bothered me. Staring at myself in the mirror, I fought a wince at the paleness of my skin and dark circles under my eyes. These past few weeks have been....hard, to say the least. The school held a memorial for the fallen students that tragically passed in the shooting, deciding to include Caleb as well, despite many protests. Thinking back to that day, I remembered the way Genny clung to me, trembling beneath her black suit. It had been frightening to see the very face that had haunted our dreams of late. We were well protected, with Becks standing guard and Juliette, though I didn't get much time alone with her then, or recently. I was excited to finally be able to go back to school, but admittedly there was a part of me that was also terrified to walk through those doors again. After I was released from the hospital, I was almost never alone, with either Becks or Juliette stopping by. My mom knew of her undercover work of course, but she didn't know of our romantic interest in each other and for now I wanted to keep it that way. Swallowing my daily anxiety medication, I braced my hands against the sink, staring at my gaunt features and too-loose clothing, desperately to keep the darkness at bay. Sometimes I could still smell and feel him, like a phantom limb, haunting me even after death.

"Shay? Becks is here." I jerked violently, snapping out of my head and into the present when my mom gently knocked on the doorframe, her brown eyes warm and concerned where they met mine in the mirror. "Baby? You okay?"

I turned to face her, breathing slow and deep like my trauma therapist taught me, flashing her a small smile when I felt more in control. "Sorry Mama, you scared me a little. I'm okay, just a little nervous." She stepped forward and pulled me into a gentle hug, rubbing my back soothingly. I breathed in her scent, allowing myself to relax into her embrace, hugging her back tightly. She'd been my rock ever since that horrible day, my eighteenth birthday. They'd tried making it up to me, but I think birthdays have been ruined for me for now.

"You'll be fine. Juliette called me this morning to check in on you. She's very considerate for a FBI agent and teacher." She laughed, and my cheeks turned pink. I struggled to not give myself away, brushing off her comment with a chuckle.

"Yeah she's pretty great." My phone started to vibrate, and I rolled my eyes to see like ten texts from Becks and just as many from Genny, to get my ass out here before they came inside to drag me out. "Well, I better go before she barges in here again." She laughed, no doubt remembering when the brute of an officer broke down our door one night when I failed to answer her phone calls, despite the fact that it had been past nine o'clock and she just wanted to know if I wanted ice cream. I shouldered my bag, wincing a little at the twinge in my ribs.

"You have some pretty protective friends, my love." I smiled and kissed her cheek on my way out, assuring her that I'd text her if I needed anything.