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CHAPTER 11: No Choice Given

Ira

What was wrong with me? And what happeed to me at the hospital roof?

I can't let any man come near me. They are all the same. They act all nice at first and then they break you in soo many different ways, you can't even count. I do have some good men in my life like Samar jiju, Ansh or even Veer  but it took me really long to trust them too. I can't let Ahaan Jindal or any other guy in. I can't trust anyone. I am alone in this world and that is my power.

I reach the third floor and get inside the ICU and spend the rest of night keeing myself busy by going through my notes and keeping a tab on my patient's chart. The next day around 7 a.m. Dr. Ahuja comes on round to check on both the patients. They were both doing good. Infact, he, himself asked the nurse to bring the baby to the mother. My shift was over and as the patient or should I call her Mrs.Jindal, was stable now, another resident had taken over. So, I decided to talk to my incharge about this situation.

"Dr. Ahuja?" I called him out from behind and he turned to meet me.

"Yes?"

"Do you have a second sir? I need to talk to you about something."

"Okay, but make it quick I have a surgery planned, so let's talk while we walk?" 

I nod and start speaking while we move towards the OR of the main hospital building,"Sir, it's about yesterday's VIP case, I would like to get out of it."

He stops in his tracks and glares at me, "What's wrong Ira? Did something happen?". Over here at the hospital, all of us might just appear mere coworkers, but in reality we are all a big supportive family and frankly this big family has showered me with more love in these three years, than my family ever had and Dr.Ahuja calling  me by my first name just shows his concern for me.

"No sir. Nothing happened, but", I stop for a few seconds to frame the sentence in my mind before I resort to telling him everything, "My parents are looking for a match for me and one of the guy who they matched me with is Ahaan Jindal, Rishabh and Aastha Jindal's younger son. I didn't know that yesterday but then I saw him and he told everything about the accident. And according to hospital policy we can't have any kind of personal relation with the patient or their family members if we are treating them. That's why I wanted an out."

"Oh! You scared me there for a moment." he says keeping a hand over his chest."I see the situation and I don't see much problem there." I narrow my eybrows while he asks,"...unless your marriage is already fixed with him?" he raises an eyebrow.

"No sir. Not yet."

"It's ok then. The policy says to not have any personal relation and given your case, it hasn't been established yet, so there is no issue. Unless you think you can't treat your patient properly due to some future alliance you might have with her son?"

" No sir, that won't be a problem here." The only problem here will be me seeng him regularly.

"Okay then you will stay on the case." I nod and we both leave the place.

I reach home and take an 8 hour long nap. My shift wasn't for another 12 hours so I still had almost 3 hours to be at the hospital excluding the time traffic would take. I take out some fried rice my roommate, Muskaan cooked probably before going for work herself, and sit near on the terrace with my plate. As a kid my parents never showed me love but my naani (grandmother) did. My parents had a love marriage. Mom ran from her house and got married to dad. Initially both nanu and nani were very upset and wouldn't see her but when she had Eka di, they tried to forget all what had happened. They didn't like dad because of his ego and mom because of her betrayal, but they didn't carry their grudges against their daughter to us. They loved all three of us and tried to establish a connection but I got attached to them the most. Also, they had seen how I was being treated at home so they tried to love me more. 

I was six when nanu died of heartattack. Nani was distraught at first and she had no other child other than mom so I stayed with her for a while but then she handled herself like a soldier. I started visited her more often. I would spend all my weekends and vacations over here with her. While the rest of my family was going on business events and family dinners, nani used to teach me to accept myself how I was. She too was brown and so was my mom, because of her South-Indian background, but dad paid her to get skin whitening done because of his hatred for dark complexion. Other than Vaani, naani was the only person who knew what had happened to me because I had come cryig to her when it happened. She was a trained in kalaripayattu- an Indian martial art, so instead of just consoling me she taught me how to defend myself. She also taught me how to carry myself in this big world along with how to not rely on anyone.

During my MBBS I lived in the hostel due to th colleege's demand but I used to visit her on weekends. I had decided to shift in with her after my graduation. She was very happy when I graduated and got into PG. She even came for my graduation along with Vaani. That day was the happiest day of my life, I made her proud, but my happiness never lasts long. The next day she died in her sleep and I have been alone eversince. I stayed at the hospital's on-call room for a week. I just couldn't get myself to go back to that place  and not see her. I didn't know but she had her house and whatever possession she had legally registered in my name. So my parents, specially mom had another reason to hate me. At that time Muskaan too was looking for some place to live, hence we became roomies.

I finish my dinner and sit with my back rested against the railing, my legs spread out infront of me and my head turned upwards at the sky when my phone chimes with a new notification. I pick it up to see my mother had texted me, 

'We got a call from the Jindals. Fortuitously, they loved your profile and want to go forward with this alliance. They want you to meet their son this weekend and if he likes you then the families meet and fix the date for marriage. I have shared your number with him. He might call you to set the time and place. Show a good behaviur Ira. For once, don't let us down.'

That's it. That's all she said. There was no question of my choice. The Jindals liked me "fortuitously", they want me to meet their son and if their son liked me, they would take this alliance forward. Will I ever be happy? Will my choice ever matter? Will anyone ever care about what I want or what I choose?

I look back up at the sky and speak looking at the stars,"Why did you go away so soon naani?...First time ever I don't know what to do. How do I take a stand for myself some place where no one even listens?"

Oh God. There is only one out now. I need to convince Ahaan to say no.

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Will Ahaan say no?

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