TO THE STARS THAT LISTEN

CHAPTER 63: Fate

Ira

I've been dodging my husband for the past two and a half weeks. I go to sleep before he arrives and go to the hospital before he wakes up, or I come back after I am sure he is asleep and then wake up after he's gone.

He hasn't been coming to bed either. I know that because I have been sleeping like shit and the bags under my eyes are a constant reminder. The tension between us is palpable, and it's eating away at me.

Every day, I go through the motions, trying to focus on my work at the hospital, but my mind is always elsewhere. My colleagues have noticed the change in me, and I've brushed off their concerns with weak excuses about being overworked. They don't know the truth. They don't know that my world is falling apart.

Every time I see Ahaan, my heart aches. I catch glimpses of him from afar, and it's clear he's struggling too. He looks tired, and there's a sadness in his eyes that wasn't there before. I want to reach out to him, to tell him that I know, that I'm sorry for avoiding him, but I can't bring myself to face the truth. I'm scared of what he'll say, of what this will mean for us.

I have my exam today. The exam that will give me my surgeon's license and I don't know if I will even pass. I have been living on very little sleep and that would have been okay on a normal day, but these past few days have been more stressful to me than anything else.

As I stand in front of the mirror, trying to gather my thoughts, I feel a wave of nausea. I splash cold water on my face, hoping it will wake me up and clear my mind. Today is crucial. I can't afford to let my personal life interfere with my professional goals. I need to focus, to pull myself together.

I take a deep breath and leave the apartment, my footsteps echoing in the empty hallway. I had called Vaani to drop me off because I didn't want to bother any one in the family and was definitely not in any condition to drive myself there or take a public transport.

The hospital is bustling with activity as always, but today it feels like a distant hum. My mind is preoccupied with thoughts of Ahaan, of our fractured relationship, and of the exam that looms over me like a dark cloud.

As I enter the exam room, I try to push all my worries aside. I can't let them distract me. I need to focus on the task at hand. The examiner gives us the instructions, and I nod along, forcing myself to concentrate. My hands tremble slightly as I begin, but I take another deep breath and steady myself.

The hours pass in a blur of surgical procedures and medical jargon. I move through the motions, relying on muscle memory and years of training. Despite the lack of sleep and the stress gnawing at me, I manage to stay composed. When the exam finally ends, I feel a mixture of relief and exhaustion wash over me.

I step out of the exam room and it's gone dark outside. I made it through, but the uncertainty lingers. Did I do well enough? Will I pass? I can't shake the doubts from my mind.

As I walk through the corridor, Vaani greets me with a concerned expression. "How did it go?" she asks, her voice gentle.

I force a smile, though it feels strained. "I think I did okay," I say, trying to sound more confident than I feel.

Vaani nods, but her eyes remain worried. "Let's get you home," she says, guiding me towards the exit.

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Ahaan

I've been trying to keep myself busy, throwing myself into work and family obligations, but nothing can distract me from the gaping void that Ira's absence has created. It's been two and a half weeks since we've had a real conversation, and the silence between us is deafening. The tension is like a thick fog, suffocating us both.