The Look in His Eye [Jeremiah Fisher x Reader]

~ 8 ~

The house was quiet. Spencer didn't know it but we were in a fight. I didn't quite know it either though... I guess it just felt like we were fighting. Tonight though, I'd be at Shayla's. I was excited. I wanted out of the house.

"We should get in some family time, after you get back from Shayla's of course. I'm happy you're spending time with friends. I guess I just miss you is all," mom said from the door.

"That sounds great," I said with a smile.

Shayla came by to pick me up in a fancy car.

"Get in! It's girl's night!" She said excitedly.

I hopped in and we took on the town. She made sure I felt at home in her huge beach house. It was a lot, even for how I was brought up. She showed me around and we did all of the typical sleepover things. From baking fun things we saw on tik tok, to movies, to skincare, to makeovers. It was amazing. We got tipsy as we drank chardonnay and did each other's make-up.

"I don't want to ask... But I am worried after the other night," she said.

"The party?" I questioned.

She nodded, pulling away from my face to look me in the eye.

"You seemed destroyed. What happened?" she asked.

"You know Spencer?"

"Yes, that sweet-looking boyfriend of yours that works at the club," she said.

"He isn't actually my boyfriend," I let out.

"What do you mean?" She questioned.

"We're faking it. Our moms really want us together and I'd never want to let my mom down. And... although I hate saying this without talking to him to see if it's okay. He's gay," I explained.

"He's gay?" She questioned, a bit shocked.

"I know, he is only a bit more awkward around women than the average straight guy, so it's not very noticeable."

"So this just covers it up with his family?" She questioned.

I nodded, "And he seems like a nice guy, so it wasn't a problem."

"Wasn't?" She questioned my word choice.

"The other night at the party... Um. Well. He and Jeremiah kissed. And I don't know, but it just felt weird. Jeremiah and I have gotten a bit closer and he hasn't even come out to me but... It just shocked me to see two people I care about kissing," I explained.

"Why?" She asked, sipping on her chardonnay.

"Because... Because I don't want things to change anymore. Since my dad died all I've dealt with is change, and I've adapted. What if they become a couple and it destroys my mom because I didn't end up with Spencer?"

"I'm sure it won't be that bad," Shayla consoled.

"But what if it is? And..." I started.

"And?" She questioned.

"That day Jeremiah was like all over me and he was getting upset because he didn't like how Spencer was treating me... And before that he just... I don't know we're just so close and he protected me from these guys and after it I just realized how safe I feel around him. Like, I feel so safe it feels dangerous," I explained.

"You're starting to like him," she said with a smirk.

"Yeah, I like him."

"No, I mean. Like like him. Feelings," she said.

"But it was the same when we were younger. Before I just disappeared," I said, thinking through it. "I mean, yeah, he's always been cute... But he always helped make me feel included and special when Belly couldn't or was busy."

"Woah..." she said, taking another sip.

"What?" I questioned.

"Did you not realize what it's like to have feelings for someone?" She asked.

"I just... No, I-"

She grabbed my hands, "It does not make you weak to care for someone."

I stood up, pacing around. "Yes, it does. It makes you vulnerable. If you care that much they could always leave."

"Y/n, if you think like that you can't ever truly be happy," Shayla said.

I sighed and looked out the window. It was late. We headed to bed not long after and I awoke the next morning to Shayla with an aspirin and water in her hand. It was then I realized the pounding headache.

"We may have had a bit too much last night," she chuckled. "I'm sorry by the way. I can't tell you what to do. I really have started to see you as a sister Y/n. I just want you to be happy."

I smiled at her, taking the aspirin and the water.

"Thank you, I just. I need time to process it all," I said.

"You have all the time in the world," she said with a smile.

I had left Shayla to find my mom back at home, reading the last bit of Laurel's book.

"Any good?" I asked.

She smiled, "Very."

I brought my bag upstairs and came back to find she had finished.

"Are you free?" I asked.

She nodded to me.

"Want to play a round of croquet?" I asked with a smirk.

"That sounds perfect," she said.

Croquet was a yearly tradition here. Mom loved it. As per usual we dressed in silly dresses and played, her beating me. When we finished up, Jolene was in the kitchen taking out some cookies.

"Hey, you two! Want to join me for a movie?" She asked.

"Which one?" Mom asked.

"I was thinking Sleepless in Seatle," Jolene answered.

We both smiled and watched the movie. I laid with my head in mom's lap and she played with my hair. It had been a while since there was peace like this. It was nice. I missed days like this... And I could tell she had too.

"I think I'm going to head to the club to catch up with some of the girls," Jolene said. "Have fun you two!"

She left and me and mom sat in silence.

"Y/n?" She called.

I looked over at her, wondering what was on her mind, "Yes?"

"I think your father would be very happy to see you like this," she said as she made her way to the mantle. "I guess him sitting up here like this is his way of watching you grow up."

And just like that. The moment where everything was fine had fallen. Mom made her way to the kitchen and I knew she was breaking open some wine. After another hour, the whole bottle was gone and she was passed out.

"Again?" Spencer questioned and then sighed.

Again..? How often was this happening? And why was I not aware of it?