AFAAOCSAAABAS Act 2

Parts 10-13: Uncle Tony's..., Stinky Rafael, Arrivial, Attack of the....

Part 10: Uncle Tony's Visit

BT: (Knocking on the door) Heeey Vic!!! Uncle Tony's Here!!
AS: (Slowly making his way downstairs, opening the door)
Hhhello, Uncle Tony.
BT: There's my favorite nephew!!! (He gives him a big hug) how you been kid?!
AS: I.. I don't know.
BT: That's alright, also, nice hair cut kid! Looks great!
AS: I didn't.'. what...
...N-nevermind. Thank you, Uncle Tony.
BT: That's all good! So! It's just me and you for a while, anything you want to do?
AS: No, not really..
BT: Welp, ahhh, you think of something you want to go do, it can be anyyyyttthing you want, while I go get my room set up! Oh by the way, should I stay in the guest room or the master bedroom, your parents never told me....
AS: Why not the guest room? It's barely used, anyway.
BT: Gotcha! (He walks up to the guest room and places his suitcase on the couch) Barely used huh? The bed isn't made, it smells kinda funny, there's garbage ehh everywhere? And is that a- is that... (He walks up to a 50 pound feed bag on the floor) Poultry food?!
They have chickens?! I thought Vic was scared of chickens... well, I guess I could feed them too while they're gone... (He begins to unpack, placing the clothing into the drawers, moving the few random shirts and two hats off in a pile somewhere else, then lays down in the bed for a bit)
AS: Hmm?
BT: (Sitting up from the bed) hmm? Oh yes uh, are you sure none is staying here right now?
AS: I'm quite sure.
BT: Are you sure? There was clothing and trash and, uh, well, poultry food? Do you guys have chickens or something?
AS: (He shudders at the mention of chickens) Yes, I'm sure. Someone stayed there for a bit, and forgot to clean up. Father also adopted a goose, which I am not exactly fond of.
BT: Ed? A goose?! Always thought of him as more of a fish person....
AS: Oh! He's not! Definitely! No fish. Never fish. Hah. Hahah!
BT: Don't like fish either, eh? Well I guess we're not going to the aquarium then! Speaking of going places, get any ideas?
AS: No. l'd like to stay here.
BT: okay i guess! While you're in your room, I think I'll watch a little TV, you can talk to me if you need anything at all!
AS: (He nods, and leaves to his room without another word)
—meanwhile, in the mountains of sardiniastan—

Part 11: Stinky Rafael

TH: RAFAEL! RAFAEL! RAFAEL! ARE THEY THERE YET?? ARE THEY?
RF: (Looking at a flight tracker) The plane should be arriving in about 20 minutes.
TH: THATS TOOOO LOOOOOONNNGGGG!
RF: You can go... polish your axe..? You always like that. (He switches over to a Facebook tab and begins watching reels)
TH: SHE'S ALREADY SUPERRRR POLISHED.
RF: Uhhhhhuhhhhh... maybe... take a shower or something. No one wants a smelly fight.
TH: I'M NOT SMELLY!
WHY DONT YOU TAKE A SHOWER?!?
RF: (Stops scrolling) I DON'T NEED A SHOWER I SMELL FINE!
TH: OH DO YOU?? DO YOU NOWWWW??
RF: Yeah. This is my natural manly musk!! I don't have to shower for WEEKS on end!
TH: WAIT. WHAT??
HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU SHOWERED??
RF: Erm, (Checks calendar) 2.
TH: TWO?? TWO WHAT, RAFAEL?!?
RF: M-m-months...
TH: TAKE A SHOWER, RAFAEL.
RF: (Sighs) okay if I must... (He slithers out of his chair and over to the small shower, takes of his hat and being to shower)
Ahhhh ahh aha ahhh its stings it stings! Waaahhh!! I don't like this Señor, let me get out!!
TH: CALM DOWN!! JUST TURN THE HEAT DOWN!!!
RF: (Quickly turns the dial)
Oooh! Ooh ah ooh! Its so cold, so frigid! It hurts I can't do this!!
TH: UUUuUUGGHHH put it in the MIDDLEEEE RAFAEL!!
RF: (Puts it in the middle) Ahhh! Ah oh ah- oh! This is actually nice.... (He begins to clean his body and wash his hair) Señor, What kind of soap is this?
TH: IUNNO. I DON'T BUY THE SOAP.
RF: Then, who does?! Your mom??
TH: (He goes completely silent)
RF: Oh um... sorry señor, I forgot....
TH: DO NOT SPEAK OF HER. EVER.
RF: (Silent)
(The shower is turned off)
TH: ...
RF: (Shower is turned back on)
TH: (He grabs hachara and starts polishing her relentlessly)
RF: (After a few more minutes in the shower he gets out) Okay now do I smell not bad? Am I ready for the big meeting?
TH: YEAH. I GUESS.
RF: Great, because the plane should land any minute now.
TH: WELL?? LET'S GET GOING!!! I WANT TO CHOP THAT BEAST INTO PIECES AS SOON AS I CAN!
RF: Heh... down the.. mountain?
(Shudders) We have to WALK the whole way down!
TH: (Wailing) NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
RF: Oh don't be such a baby! At least its down hill!
TH: But it's COOOOLLLLDDDDD!
RF: (slythering over to his desk and grabbing the sweater he had lying on it) Then get something warm to wear
TH: I dont HAVE ANYTHING!!
RF: um.
(He sighs)
Do you want my sweater?
TH: IT PROBABLY HAS YOUR LICE, BUT OK.
RF: I do NOT have lice!!
TH: THATS WHAT YOU THINK!
RF: you want it or no?
TH: FFFIINEEEEE
HAND IT OVER, RAFAEL.
RF: (Hands him the sweater) Be careful with it, my sister made it for me
TH: (Muttering) you have like fifty...
RF: And I love each and every one of them! Welp, chop chop! The beast is waiting!!
TH: (putting on the sweater and exiting quickly, dragging hachara against the floor)
-~the two begin walking down the mountain~-
RF: (shivering) Señorrrrrr im so collddd my tail is turning blue!!
TH: WHY DIDNT YOU BRING BETTER CLOTHING???
RF: you tool my only sweater!!
TH: WHY DO YOU ONLY HAVE ONE?!
RF: my sister can only make so many!
TH: JUST TAKE YOUR SWEATER BACK!!!
RF: (slips into the sweater) th-th-thank you señor..
TH: WHATEVER.
LET'S JUST GET DOWN AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.
-~the two run down the mountain as fast as they can~-
TH: (by the time they reach the bottom, he is freezing cold and tired)
RF: señ-ñ-ñor... want to get some hot chocolate??
TH: BLECH!! NO! I'M FINE, THANK YOU!
RF: señoorrrr i want hot chocolate....
TH: YOU GET IT! I'M FINE WAITING!
RF: (he slithers into a nearby cafe, orders two cups of hot chocolate them comes back, sipping the warm drink) Ahhhhh... this hits the spot!
TH: (shivering as he eyes rafaels second drink)
RF: (swirls the other cup of hot chocolate) hmmm it appears Rafael made a mistake and got two... shame shame...
TH: UM, ARE YOU GOING TO, DRINK THAT...
ALSO, WHY ARE YOU SPEAKING, IN THE THIRD PERSON,
RF: oh you can have it señor, and im speaking in the third person because- i dont know
TH: (he hastily grabs the hot chocolate and downs it quickly)
(he winces at the scalding hot drink but he shrugs it off, glad to be warmer)
RF: oh, oh my. Well, lets get to that airport now, they should be waiting...
TH: YEAH, yeah, lets get going
-~the two walk off to the airport~-