Through your eyes

Elliot

Its been a hectic few weeks for me. The company has been fine, things are running as usual. If anything Ive been leaving it on its own for a couple of hours. Nothing disastrous has happened and my staff are capable so Im giving a few hours to myself here and there.

Since April, I've gotten in touch with my secondary school and planned a visit later this month to talk to the students. I don't know what I'm going to say but maybe I can help. Maybe just by seeing me and realise that they all have potential too. Maybe I could give them hope, I don't know? I've been talking to Mr Dowd too and it's been great to be able to thank him. I always wondered if he knew how much he meant to me and now he doesn't have to wonder anymore. He invited my mum and I to his house for dinner last week. Mrs Dowd couldn't stop talking about how much she's heard about me and Mr Dowd couldn't stop blushing. It couldn't remember the last time I smiled so much. My mum has invited him and his wife for a barbecue at the end of the month. And I'm honestly looking forward to it.

I've been taking a more involved role in my mums charities too. I've been donating for five years, but have never even took a step inside the headquarters. Mostly because I was busy with Echo but part of me also thinking that I was already do more than most by donating. Talking to people who are going their most difficult times has opened my eyes. When I was younger and my mum and I were in a similar place I used to wish for money, I thought money would make all my problems go away. And whilst it did help, recently I've been feeling this emptiness inside me, like part of me is missing or broken. Talking to people at the shelter, I realise how lonely some of them are, they have no one in this world. And whist I have my mother who I am grateful for beyond words, I cant help the stirring in my soul that feels the same. So I've been spending most of my evenings there, hoping I could ease the loneliness these people feel, or at least hope that they know they're not struggling with it alone.

It's 10pm and I'm just walking back from there now. The shelter is about a mile away from my apartment and work. I live in the building opposite Echo and in those first years I rarely went home to sleep. I had a sofa bed in my office that I crashed on for a couple hours. But Adam, my secretary, had had enough and rented a place in the building next door. He knew I had attachment issues so made sure I got a view to see Echo whenever I needed to. I've bought the penthouse suite now and I'm glad he pushed me out. Although I'm not there often, my home is my home. A place where I'm learning to relax. Im always grateful for having it after these visit from the shelter. Especially in these last couple of months. Life is changing for me and it feels like I'm doing something right.

I'm taking a detour, because the breeze feels so good and I think that staying out longer would make me happy. Ive made a promise to myself that I would do at least one thing everyday solely for the reason it would make me happy. After all, there's someone out there praying for it. Some days I give myself an extra 5 minutes in bed, or for lunch, some days I go for a walk without my phone, or I lounge on the rooftop of my building watching the birds overhead, listening to the sounds of nature. You get the idea.

The summer days are long in May, and there is still a little light lingering on the horizon though the sun set a while ago. I hear a sound that makes me stop in my step, makes the hair on my arms stand up. I get this weird feeling as this foreign language is being almost sung. It sounds beautiful, reverent and I want to follow it. I look across the street and theres a domed building where the sound is coming from. Before I even know it I'm standing outside the building. I look at the signs and realise it's a mosque. I stop outside. I don't know anything about religion. My mum and I have never been religious. Of course, I've met people who are religious but beliefs and ideaologies never come up in the board meetings or conference rooms. I've never really thought about it, never even questioned it. I've been thinking more spiritually about fate and destiny recently, but never even conceptualised the idea of God. What am I doing here? I can't go inside? I'd probably get kicked out? They wouldn't accept me here? I should go? Do research at least to be respectful. But I can't move my feet.