Through your eyes

Elliot

Its Thursday evening, I just got home from the gym. I head into the shower. My meeting with Jannah and Jen went well, we spent the rest of the afternoon preparing the proposal for the charity board. We got all of our ideas worked out. The only thing left to work on is the most important, Finances. Jannah said she had time to get in contact with the charity about funding. In the meantime, I've got a ton of emails to catch up on.

I lean my head against the shower wall and let the water relax my muscles. Echo's never been busier and it's taking it's toll. I'm grateful though. Alhamdullilah. As a company we've never been better, its just a little hard to find balance. Working on this project makes me excited. Excited for the possibilities.

I get out of the shower, dry off and get changed into a t-shirt and joggers. I read magarib and make my way to my home office.

I sift through my emails and get to work.

...

Saturday

Dream team

Jannah: Jen and I have been
working on the budget, could
we email it to someone in the
finance department at Echo to
check our estimates?

Me: Great, send it to
E.Madden@echo.co.uk

Jannah: Don't want to take up
more of your time, Adam said
you were busy.

Me: You've been speaking
to Adam?

Jannah: Yes, and not the point :(

Me: Send it to me, it's too
important to pass off to
someone else.

Jannah: Okay, Thank you!!!

I'm at my mothers house for lunch. Whilst things have been extremely busy in my life, my mother has be patient. However, 6 weeks without seeing her son is where she drew the line. She asked me to come over, technically I was threatened with her showing up at my office everyday for the next 2 weeks. I don't mind because if I'm being honest, I missed her too.

She's made roast ham, which means the cat is finally coming out of the bag. My eating habits haven't really changed much since I reverted. I had a personal chef who prepared meals for the week. The most I had to do was put them in the oven and not burn them. Since I reverted, I've changed my meal plans so that everything is sourced from a halal butcher. I never ate pork as part of my meals anyway as it wasn't the healthiest. My diet consists of chicken, fish and the occasional steak. My chef's got Muslim clients, so he's well aware of dietary requirements.

I remember when I was younger, for a brief period of time I lived in a shared accommodation with an older woman Ms. Russo. I used to sit by the stove and watch her cook, mostly because I would be hungry. She always shared her dinner with me. She taught me how to make pasta, and the best meatballs I've ever had. I wish I had time to cook, I loved it back then, they were some of the fondest memories I have. Probably because my belly got filled. Hopefully I can make time for it in the future.

I didn't drink before either, tried it with friends and realised it wasn't for me. I think I've seen way too many lives be destroyed by it.

My mum's pottering around the kitchen when I get the email from Jannah.

"Elliot, can you give me a hand with the potatoes please?"

"Yeah mum, give me a sec". I star the email, download the documents and save them to the cloud. When I get the chance to look at them I probably won't be able to find the email in my inbox again, at least this way it's saved to my desktop.

I put my phone down and go wash my hands.

"What do you need ma?"

"Could you drain and then mash them? I hurt my hand with the garden clippers yesterday."

"I told you to wear your gloves mum, how's your hand? Did you go to the doctors?"

"It's not that bad, just a bit blistered, that's all. I'll wear my gloves next time."

I drain the potatoes and she hands me a masher.

I can feel her gaze on my cheek whilst I mash the potatoes.

"You seem different Elliot."

"Hmm... how so?"

"Happy, busy but happy. At least happier."

I take a moment to think about it. Yeah I guess I am. I feel like my life has purpose. I feel like I belong, like I've found my place, who I was meant to be. Things have been falling into place.

"Yeah. I am, there's actually something I've been meaning to tell you."

I stop mashing the potatoes and turned off the water my mum starting boiling for the broccoli.

"Could we sit for a minute." I ask.

I lead her to the breakfast bar stools. And she takes a seat. She's waiting patiently, no judgment, no questions. Letting me do this in my own time, when I'm ready.

"I'm Muslim."

To be fair to her, her facial expression doesn't change. I wonder if she even heard me.

"I reverted to Islam in April" I continue, mostly to make sure she heard properly this time.

Now her face changes. Her forehead scrunches and she looks mad. She jumps of the stool and starts pacing. Oh Allah, please help me, please help her see what I see.

"You did this in APRIL!!! And you didn't tell me!!!"

Okay, that's not what I was expecting the issue would be, but I go with it. Honestly could be worse.

"I've been meaning to tell you, just waiting for the right time."

"WAITING!" She takes a deep breath and come back to sit on the stool she vacated.

"I'm disappointed that you didn't tell me," she looks at me with the look. The look where I know I messed up

"I'm sorry" I say. Because I am, I didn't want to hurt her but now I've done it anyway.

"More than that, I'm disappointed you felt like you couldn't tell me." She studying her fingers in front of her on the counter. I can tell she's upset.

I take her hand and give it a squeeze."I really did want to, you were the first person I wanted to tell when I did it. I'm sorry it took me so long to gather the courage."

"It's okay honey, I'm glad you told me. I'm sorry for loosing my temper there, but I hope you understand where I'm coming from. You're precious to me, the only thing in this world that I hold near and dear. I want to support you in every part of your life, even the parts where I wont be of much help."

"I know mum, thank you." I put my arm around her shoulder and give her a little hug on the stool. Alhamdullilah. I'm so grateful for her.

"Right, so tell me what this means."