Through your eyes

Jannah

Dear Diary,

I miss the holidays.

J x

We're 4 days into 2nd year and it's already kicking my butt. The course is already so intense, and we've got so much content to cover this year. It's going to be tough. It's 11pm and I've just finished reviewing todays work and completing the prework for the next teaching session. I thought I'd left enough time to look over the outlines for tomorrows meeting with the board, but I don't. Guess I will have to do it on the train journey.

We've been texting back and forth this week on the group chat preparing for this. Elliot's been very easy to work with. I was expecting him to take a leadership role in the project. As a CEO, it was only natural to assume he would take the ropes. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised he handled it, and us, with patience and grace. He's been extremely supportive in letting Jen and I build from his ideas. He gave us feedback and encouraged us when we got stuck. He's been reliable, accessible, approachable.

It's Thursday tomorrow and I finish lectures at 2. Elliot schedule a meeting with the board for five. He said it was ideal for him because he's busy with clients but I suspect that no matter the time he would've had to rearrange something to attend this meeting. When I was speaking to Adam, about document formats, he said that every hour of Elliot's time is accounted for the next 3 months. So I have an inkling that he picked the time to suit Jen and I best.

He's so kind and thoughtful. MashAllah. It's in everything he does. I respect and admire him for it. It inspires me.

...

Thursday 4.45 pm

Jen, Elliot and I are sitting in a meeting room in the charity's building. We're going over who's presenting what. Elliot said he'd happily sit from the sidelines as the idea was originally Jen and I's.

"Didnt you say we were all partners?"

"Yes but I can partner from over here if you guys are more comfortable." He points to his seat.

"I think I would be more comfortable if you were presenting with us." Jen says nervously.

"Okay" Elliot says. "What do you feel most confident talking about? I'll present the rest."

So that's how we spilt up our parts. Jen is going to open, talking about her experience as an applicant, stigma and skills she's missed out on. I will then present our plans to enrich members and Elliot will discuss budget allocation.

I'm nervous about presenting. My anxiety skyrockets in these types of situations. But exposure through university has made me feel more confident. I think it's more that I know what to expect when presenting and being questioned. I can prepare myself mentally and talk myself through it. It'll be over soon, I know what I'm talking about, I want this to happen. Those are the mantras going through my head.

I take a couple deep breaths, if they like it then great, but if they don't then that's okay. As much as I would love for the members to experience out programme, at the end of the day it's not my decision. It's up to the board. InshAllah they agree.

...

The meeting goes well, at least I think. The board grilled us on our budget proposals which Elliot handled like a pro (probably because he is one). It all seemed really positive and they definitely were interested in our ideas. They're going to look over it in the next couple of days with their lawyers and finance department. InshAllah they will have an answer for us in the next week.

It's six pm once we've finished regrouping in the side room, Elliot asks if we would like to grab something to eat with him. Honestly I could feel my stomach rumbling for the last 15 minutes, with the nerves of the meeting I didn't even eat my lunch properly. Jen and I both agree.