Through your eyes

Jannah

Dear diary,

I'm excited, I'm going to see Sadie.

J x

It's the first week of August and I've just got onto the train to Oxford. I'm going to see Sadie after 5 weeks and I'm so excited. I've missed her so much.

We've been calling each other when we get a free moment but it's not the same. We've both been busy. Sadie's been helping out with her parents firm and attending events with them. She doesn't mind because she enjoys socialising.

I've kept myself busy; I got a job as an assistant in a small software company. It's a temporary part time job as they need help with the workload which suits me well. I'm just trying to save up for my expenses next year. On the days I'm not working I've found a shelter that I've been volunteering at. I've also been going to my masjid and helping with events, fundraising and implementing Quttbahs for women. 

As I'm looking out the window looking at the lush green fields and trees, I think about how far I've come. I never would've been able to do any of this last year. I never would have had the confidence to push myself out of my comfort zone. I didn't think there would be a point in my life where I didn't feel crippling anxiety but here I am, Alhamdulilah. I thank Allah for all He has given me over this last year. All the challenges I've faced, the people I've met all because He sent them my way.

I can't believe my parents are allowing me to stay with Sadie. I mostly pitched it as a career opportunity which is not a lie. There's a gala or two that her parents are set to attend, Sadie told me to pack for them so I assume we're both invited too. Also it was my birthday last week so my parents understand I wanted to see my friends.

I just can't wait to see her.

...

Sadie surprised me with a spa day in London on Tuesday, as a belated birthday gift. So we spent the day lounging around the pool, and getting facials and massages. We spent the time catching up with our summer so far. She said we'd be staying overnight in a hotel and head back tomorrow afternoon. I checked with my parents and they seemed fine with it. So that was what we did.

...

Wednesday morning, Sadie had a meeting with one of her mother's client. She had to drop off documents, so I accompanied her to the headquarters, in the business district. Our plan was to grab breakfast after. We found a cute coffee shop and decided to stop and plan our day. It was 10am so the morning rush had settled down. Sadie was showing me some spots on from a halal food page she followed and I had my map out to see how we could plan our stops. The bell above the door rung and I glanced up absentmindedly. I locked eyes with familiar green ones.

I could see the surprise in his eyes that quickly was replaced by happiness. He looked downright overjoyed to see me. I never had a reaction like that before, I'm sure that's why the butterflies swarmed my stomach.

He walked up to our table not bothering to place his order. Almost like the reason he came was to see us, to see me.

"Good morning, Sadie, Jannah, what a surprise to see you both. How are you?" I admire his confidence, the way he holds himself, he looks so self- assured. It's an attractive trait to have... Hang on, what am I saying? Astagfurillah. I've never had thoughts like this. Ya Allah I didn't mean it that way. I meant it's nice to see, something that I admire.

"I'm doing good Mr Madden, and you" Sadie replies.

"I'm keeping well, thank you." He looks at me with a questioning gaze. I guess this is where I'm meant to say something.

"I'm well, thank you." I respond. I look at the table in front of me. His eyes are too intense, I loved having his attention before, didn't think anything of it, but now it makes me nervous.

"I'm pleasantly surprised to see you here, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Elliot says. I can still feel his gaze on me. I look at Sadie. Her head whips back and forth between me an Elliot with a 'what the heck" question in her eyes.

"We were in town for Jannah's birthday, would you excuse me I need to go to the ladies room" Sadie says.

Great. She obviously didn't pick up on the hint. Maybe she thought I wanted to speak to him alone. Ya Allah.

"May I sit?" Elliot points to the seat Sadie vacated.

"Go ahead." I respond. I try to play it cool, I don't want him to know how nervous I am. Isn't this weird. Of all the people to see, it's him.

He takes the seat and I can't avoid his eyes now. He looks at me for a bit, and I can see everything he's thinking. He's confused as to why I'm acting like this, then I see the worry that he thinks I'm uncomfortable.

"I can leave if this is making you uncomfortable, that is never my intention." He says sincerely.

I sigh, I feel terrible, he's so nice, and I'm being cold.

"No it's okay, I'm just a little shocked to see you here. Small world."

"Yeah, I know right, it must be a sign." He lets out a disbelieved laugh. "Fate has a way of bringing us together after we say goodbye, we always think it's the last time but here we are again." He smiles.

"Yeah we should be friends at this point, it's too jarring bumping into you this way." I joke.

"I'd actually really like that Jannah."

He's looking at me with hope in his eyes, and I can't help the warmth that rises on my cheeks. Great! Now I'm blushing.

"Happy Birthday". He says softly. His voice is so soothing.

"Thank you" I smile. The awkwardness is gone and all I feel is warmth. Ya Allah what is happening?

AN: hey guys, comment on where you want to see this story go. Hopefully going to focus on getting to know each other in the next few chapters!!!