The King of Crows

Crow Cleaning

I held my breath, not wanting the rogue rust to enter my mouth, as I tried my hardest to remove all the rust I could on the golden armour. Philza was washing the murder one by one in a dog bowl I'd bought recently for them. His coat was off as well; in fact he'd gotten used to having it off around me in just one day. I'm quite proud of him! He didn't need to, but he did.

"Fucking hell!" I shouted, sprays of bath water attacking me all of a sudden. Snapping me out of my concentration of cleaning secret rusted armour. "Seriously? Control your murder."

"I am sorry," Philza quickly responded, smiling awkwardly before whispering something to the crows beside him. Turning my head back to the golden armour, I continued to try my hardest at cleaning it up. In all honesty, I don't want it to collapse and decay. It would make Phil upset, heartbroken, and then that'd make me upset. And then it would be a loop of sadness and honestly? I don't think either of us have the mental capacity to deal with that.

"No... I'm sorry for yelling," I apologised to him, sighing midway through the sentence. I swear I could feel him smiling up at me from behind. "You can't always control them."

"It is okay my de-" Phil's words were cut off by one of the crows shaking their body, splashing the remaining water on their feathers onto his face instead. I watched with amusement, barely being able to hold back the laughter forming in my throat. "Now, as it appears, that we are even, I can assume we are not going to keep going back and forth with apologies?"

"No, we're not," I snorted out, a big grin on my face as I continued to look at him. Armour in my hands. "Don't worry Phil."

"But alas, the crows shall not be apologising," He began to glare at them, listening to whatever they cawed out. Suddenly his eyes widened, face becoming tinted with blush as he sputtered out his next words. "H-How dare you?! That is ab-absolutely... false! False!"

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed in laughter, earning a horrified look from the king. I placed down the golden gauntlet I was cleaning and gripped my stomach in pain. "What did they even say?"

Phil sighed, trying to calm down after whatever happened before. "It is just the crows being menaces and nuisances. That is all."

"-Bullshit! You-" Were the words I vaguely heard through the crow's squawking. I stared towards the angry crow, flapping their wings as they splashed around in the dog bowl. As they continued to squawk, Philza began to look more and more embarrassed by the second. Before wafting his hand close to the crow to shut them up on their little rant rampage.

"That is enough of that," He firmly stated, using his hand to cover up his blushing face. "You are far from the truth on any of that my dear crow."

The crow glared at him, though I didn't really bother with any of that anymore for the time being. Have I finally gone crazy, or did I just hear that crow speak for a second? Oh it's finally happened! I've finally lost my sanity! I knew it was going to happen one day-

"Are you okay Y/N?" His voice snapped me out, face all of a sudden close to mine as he checked my dazed face. The blush on his face was fading away either, it wasn't making any sense to me. "I am truly sorry if I did anything to make you trail off in a dozed thought."

"No, no. It's okay, just," I paused my words, trying to figure out how to phrase whatever just happened. "I swear I just heard that crow speak for a second."

"What did he say?" Phil questioned, quite intrigued by my sudden words.

"Uhm... 'Bullshit! You-' and that was it."

He stayed silent for a moment, eyes wide as he processed the information I had given him. Even the crows became silent, which - honestly? - is far worse than them being a cult. The one that barely spoke tilted their head, using one of their wings to point at themselves.

"Yes you," I reassured the crow. "It was you who said it! When could you learn how to speak?!"

The murder began to look at one another, all while Philza continued to stare at me in complete shock. He tried to speak to me, though it seemed he couldn't form the proper words at that very moment. Placing the armour I was trying to de-rust back on its stand, I decided to sit down on the floor beside the murder. A hand gently resting on my shoulder as the king sat down next to me. The obvious shock on his face now calmed down, except it was still slightly there in his eyes.

"Y/N..." He was able to mumble out, slowly breathing to keep his calm higher than the shock. I kept my eyes on him, noticing that he still wasn't wearing his coat. Glad he's gotten used to it so quickly. "The crows can not speak an ounce of English. I can only understand the caws and trills they say."

Wait what?