One always remembers their firsts.
The first crush, the first kiss and the first-time sex.
What about the first heartbreak?
When all the firsts are centred around one person is it easy to erase them from the memories?
That's why it hurts so much to...
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I've always loved you, unconditionally.
Song for the chapter
Far away by Nickleback
~ Present ~
Apo ran.
He ran along the beach, feet plunging in the wet sand, tears pouring down his cheeks, hair whipping against his face. He ran until his legs started to burn from fatigue, his stomach cramped up, heart rate skyrocketed from the excessive workout.
Once he realized that he'd run too far and he fell on his knees in the sand, panting and crying.
"I didn't mean to hurt you, Mile." He covered his face with his hands and wailed. "I hope you would understand." He sobbed heavily into his hands.
No one answered him. There was only the soft whisper of great ocean waves rolling in and kissing the shore, again and again.
He cried so much until nothing but dry sobs and hiccups started to fall from his lips.
He sat back on his heels and looked up, face still wet and cold from the river of tears that fell from his eyes. The moon was peeking through black clouds, spreading the golden glow over the long stretch of yellowish sands and the dark waters alongside.
Apo sprawled on his back on the silky soft bed of sand, limbs spread eagle, bone tired both from running and crying. He gazed up at the sky still breathing heavily.
Mile never gave up on him. Something akin to exhilaration started lurking at the back of his mind, overpowering the pain. Mile loved him to the very end.
True, he caused unbearable pain to the man he loved, unintentionally hurting him with his stupid actions. But to know that Mile chased after him like a madman stirred something inside him. And that feeling started to grow, expanding his heart to the point he couldn't breathe.
When he left he didn't want Mile to follow him. He was fine with it when he thought Mile respected his wishes and didn't come after him. Leaning that Mile moved heaven and earth to find him, even waiting for him to finish his ordination was too much for his heart to bear. He was glad that his mother never told him about that. He couldn't have kept his head straight back then. Would have run to him instantly, leaving everything behind.
Apo liked being a monk. It gave him a reason to keep his mind disciplined. The simplicity in that life comforted him. He meditated the majority of his time, away from the material world. He would have stayed a monk for the rest of his life if the head monk in the monastery would have allowed it. The venerable sir declared that Apo was merely using the monkhood to get away from reality. The ordination was just an excuse for him to run away from his own problems.
With those words from the head monk ended his one and a half years long monkhood. His second salvation was the photography scholarship he won at an American university. It gave him a reason to leave the country and the memories behind.
