My Secret Identity

3. Brothers aren't all they're cracked up to be

I sat by myself. Quiet. I'm a good kid I guess. I hate this. The others were away. Not here. Banding I guess. I hadn't been back to school since I got them to pick me up. That was yesterday and I knew I had to back at some point. I sat thinking about how Luke treats me like a child all the time. Like he's in charge of me when he isn't. Just because he's older than me. He's not even the eldest. Ben is. Then it's Jack then it's Luke. I'm the youngest. Ben is away more often than not. So is Dad. Mum is a teacher and it takes up a lot of her free time. So it was always just me and Luke. Jack keeping and eye on us most of the time. He was six when I was born and Ben was nine. Luke was only two but I always did like Ben best. There was a knock on my door. It was bolted shut so no one could get in.

"There's a family meeting. You need to come downstairs," someone called out

"I'm sleepy," I called out even though I wasn't. 

"Since when did you start bolting you door shut," the voice asked. I slowly got up and unlocked it. Jack was stood on the other side, "Come on you. This is important." He picked me up and took my downstairs and to the living room. He put me down and sat down himself. There was no where for me to sit so I sat on Ben who was home. Just for a few days. He never stayed long. Never did never will. He pulled me close to him and held me thrre. I didn't listen to what was being said. Never did four extra people wasn't going to change that.

"Sara what do you think," Calum asked.

"Of what," I whispered to Ben.

"She wasn't listening she never does," Ben said.

"Do you want to come on tour with us. Livi's coming," Mikey told me. Did I want to go away for god knows how long, not see mum and dad.

"It's okay to say no," Ben told me quietly. I bit down on my lip.

"I don't know," I mumbled fiddling with my hair .

"Okay. You don't have to answer right now," he whispered. He pulled me closer to him and rested his chin on my head.

"They leave tomorrow so if she's going she needs to go pack," Mum said.

"Mum," Ben slowly said. The way you do when you're telling someone to shut up without saying the words. He was holding me close. The way you do a small child when they're in danger.

"Ben can you take me to my room," I asked. He gently lifted me up.

"She's fallen asleep. I'm going to take her to bed," he to the room. He took my upstairs and dropped me on my bed.

"I really want to go with them. But I don't think I could pretend that Luke is nothing more than a friend," I said.

"I could visit and I will Skype you as much as I do now. Nothing will change except your out there living your life, having fun with your friends," Ben told me.

"What like once a month," I grinned. He smiled back at me.

"You idiot. I could even drop into one of their when you're in England. I'm working there. I have a family. One in London. Maybe you could come meet my friends,"  He gabbled. I laughed he had a habit of that. Ever since we were kids, "I can help you pack," he told me pulling my suitcases out from under my bed. He filled the smaller one with all my shoes. But one pair, my cream wedges. He passed mee my cream blazer and cream skirt and a blue top.

"For tomorrow," I asked.

"Yeah Lu's coming in an hour to strip your hair and dye it any colour you want," he replied leaving me to find something to put on. I pulled on a pair of leggings and one of Ben's old shirts. I walked downstairs to see all the boys talking about something. Calum came over and hugged me.