'Darl+ing' - Seventeen
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"Been waiting for your call every night
But I can't wait no more
...
You know, without you, I'm so lonely
When you're not here, 911 calling
Into your heat again, I'm diving
Darling, you, darling, you, baby"
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"Hanging out with Seungcheol is great but... I miss you, Joshuji-" Jeonghan hugged his torso in an attempt to comfort himself.
"Would you shut up for ONE MINUTE!?" Joshua exploded and Jeonghan heard a loud bang right behind his head that echoed through the hallway, and he reactively put his hands up to his ears, jolts of shivers rippled down his spine. He turned around and scampered away from the door, his heart rate surging upwards.
"God, you really can't leave me alone for even a few days?! We're not joined at the hip or anything, Jeonghan! You have a boyfriend! Go talk to him! Go whine and bitch to him about how much you 'miss' me or whatever the fuck you won't shut up about! Would it absolutely kill you to leave me alone for a few days!? Would it fucking kill you!?! A few god damn days?!! Is that too much to FUCKING ask for!? Could you think about me for one minute- just ONE. SINGLE. MINUTE- and stop being so fucking self-centered?!"
Jeonghan was shaking in front of the door, tears welling in his eyes. 'Self... centered...'
"Could you think, for once, about how I might be feeling right now?! How I might be hurting!?! Could you think about that with your stupid tiny fucking skull of yours!?!"
Joshua's voice broke. Jeonghan was speechless. He was scared, even. Joshua never yelled, not at him, not at anyone, not at anything. And he just exploded and cussed him out. Jeonghan was still on the floor, staring at the door with wide eyes, tears falling down his face. He couldn't even process the foreign distance he was feeling from Joshua. It felt like the entire hallway lowered in temperature, Jeonghan felt like he was sitting inside of a freezer.
After a long, long silence, and after he found his voice, Jeonghan spoke- shakily,
"I-I'm gonna go now, Jisoo." He stood, took a few steps away from the door, and dropped his head, slightly shivering. It felt like Joshua had grabbed his heart and shredded it to pieces.
"I feel like lately, all I've been doing is upsetting you." His trembling hands wiped away his tears, he didn't even realize that he was crying because of the shock.
"I-I'm sorry, I know I can be excessive sometimes. I'll leave you alone now. I'm sorry. Feel better soon. Good night, I hope you sleep well tonight. I'm... really sorry."
Jeonghan paused in front of the door, almost like he was waiting for Joshua to respond, and eventually walked away.
Jeonghan had to stop at the corner of the hallway to regain his composure. His heart was still racing and tears continued forming in his eyes after Joshua screamed at him. He was scared, and worried. Did he upset Joshua that much? Was he... really being self-centered? What did he say that made him explode like that? This new coldness he felt from Joshua froze him over, he wasn't used to it. Whenever he was with Joshua, he always felt warm- but this time he felt... cold. It scared him.
Jeonghan wonders what he did. 'Maybe it's just because Shua's not feeling well. But is that all there really is to it?'
Jeonghan is a smart guy, especially when it comes to Joshua. He knows that Joshua wouldn't yell at him like that, or anyone for that matter, even if he was sick and restless. But there's also the possibility that he was just yelling at him like that- I mean he did say he didn't look good, maybe he was just feeling like complete shit and Jeonghan came in at a bad time? That's completely possible. But Joshua's been acting weird since yesterday, maybe he already knew he was sick? Maybe that's it. Maybe he just hasn't been feeling well since yesterday and maybe he was stressed about it. Maybe Jeonghan's just overthinking this whole situation, so he decides to wait it out and to give Joshua some space- since that seems to be what he wants. He's unable to relax his heart and his trembling hands.
Deep in thought, Jeonghan bumps into an equally skittish Seungcheol.
YOU ARE READING
Smile Flower | Jihan
Fanfiction[based on the fictional Hanahaki disease] Joshua felt like he was going to die from the sheer stress of it all and he couldn't stop crying. He wasn't crying out of sadness, but out of anxiety, fear, and physical pain. He was scared out of his mind...
