'Habit' - Seventeen
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"I rather wish that you were having a bit more of a harder time.
I would like it if you had a hard time and thought of me for a bit.
'I want to embrace you and laugh like I did back then', I want to tell you that."
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"I have Hanahaki disease." Joshua admitted.
"H-Hanahaki disease? What's that?"
The two of them were sitting cross-legged on the floor- Joshua staying close to the bin in case he threw up again.
"It's a disease that develops due to unrequited love. I've been taking medication for the nausea, but it doesn't work all the time- especially when my emotions are heightened." Joshua picked up the lukewarm cup of tea Seungkwan had prepared for him and took a sip, then set the cup down on the floor beside him.
Seungkwan needed to process all of this. Joshua had a disease from unrequited love? How is that possible? How could he throw up flowers? He didn't understand it, but it wasn't like he didn't believe him- he saw it firsthand. And most importantly... that means...
"So... the two of them are dating now." Seungkwan looked down.
"Yeah..." Joshua looked away.
"God... this is all so fucked up. This is so fucked..." Seungkwan put his head in his hands, "I didn't think shit would get this serious, I mean, how could this happen!?"
"Seungkwan, you have to promise me that you won't tell any of the other members." Joshua grabbed both of his shoulders firmly.
"None of them can know." He said, sternly, while maintaining eye contact with Seungkwan.
"B-But hyung-"
"No, they can't know." Joshua shook his head, "You can't tell them. I don't want anything to get worse. The last thing I need is more people pestering me about this whole thing, I still haven't figured out what I want to do about it yet."
"... I promise. And... you haven't figured out what you want to do? What do you mean?"
Right, he didn't tell Seungkwan about the cure options.
"Well, there are multiple ways to 'treat' Hanahaki disease." Joshua began, letting go of Seungkwan's shoulders.
"One option is to not do anything, and if the other person expresses genuine reciprocated feelings, then the disease will go away and fade on its own. Another option is to get a surgery to have the flowers removed-"
"Oh, then why don't you just do that!" Seungkwan interrupted.
"Let me finish. You get the flowers removed, but you forget everything about the other person and your feelings about them."
"Fuckkk..." Seungkwan threw his head back.
"And what happens if they don't reciprocate your feelings?? Don't tell me..."
They both looked into the bloody trash can.
"Yeah. I'll die."
"No way... no way..." Seungkwan was equally as stressed as Joshua.
"You can't die, hyung! Not yet!" Seungkwan pulled Joshua into an embrace, his voice breaking. He could feel Seungkwan shaking in his tight grasp.
"I don't want to die, but I don't want to forget Jeonghan either..." He wrapped his arms around Seungkwan.
YOU ARE READING
Smile Flower | Jihan
Fanfiction[based on the fictional Hanahaki disease] Joshua felt like he was going to die from the sheer stress of it all and he couldn't stop crying. He wasn't crying out of sadness, but out of anxiety, fear, and physical pain. He was scared out of his mind...
