'Bittersweet' - Mingyu & Wonwoo ft. LeeHi
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"I get close, it goes farther.
Sorry, I can't get closer.
...
If I give my hand and expect your heart,
My selfishness grows to a flaw.
Filling the void between us, filling the heart with more emptiness."
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That morning, Jeonghan decided to go on a walk to clear his head and he found himself at a park that Joshua often went to when he jogged.
He had tried contacting Joshua since yesterday; he said he was going to give him some time alone, but he got impatient after 2 days. Jeonghan never seemed to have patience when it came to Joshua. He tried to find him in his room that morning, but he wasn't there and defeatedly went on this walk.
He kept thinking about that night Joshua yelled at him, what could have brought it about? In all of his thinking, he still couldn't answer the question.
All the uncertainty made his stomach turn and his heart race. He didn't like it.
When he looked up, he noticed a familiar silhouette in the distance.
It was Joshua, just the guy he was looking for, looking up towards the sky with a dejected look on his face.
Jeonghan stopped and just took a moment to watch him. It broke his heart.
He wanted to be there for him, he wanted to listen to whatever was on Joshua's mind and comfort him. He wanted to hold him tight in an embrace and tell him everything was gonna be okay- and he didn't even know what was bothering him. All he knew was that his best friend was hurting, and it hurt him too, especially knowing that he might be the reason for all of his pain.
He wants to see Joshua smile at him again, or get annoyed at his teasing. He missed that part of his life; the past week or so has felt like an eternity without him. He realized he was just staring at him, and finally decided to approach him. This was the first step towards normal.
"Shua?" He called out. Joshua lowered his head to look straight in front of himself, the dejected look never leaving his face. Eventually, he slowly turned his head to look at Jeonghan.
"What a coincidence, haha..." Jeonghan sheepishly laughed. Joshua's lips trembled.
"You seem much better, I'm glad." Jeonghan carefully took a seat on the opposite side of the bench, maintaining distance from him.
"..." Joshua looked down at the ground.
"You've kind of been acting weird and distant these days, it worries me." Jeonghan leaned forward to get a look at Joshua's face. His gaze was blank, but it looked like he had been through a lot since he last saw him.
"..." Joshua was unresponsive, but Jeonghan kept trying- maybe something would resonate with him and he would talk. He wasn't going to give up now.
"Listen, I'm... sorry for getting on your nerves. Did I do anything in particular to upset you? Let's talk about this, Jisoo." He pleaded.
"I-... no." Joshua finally spoke, shaking his head.
"W-Why??" Jeonghan leaned back on the bench.
"I just... don't want to."
"You can't just say that, you need to give me some sort of explanation! H-Hey! J-Jisoo! Jisoo!"
Joshua stood up abruptly, and started to stumble backwards until he lost consciousness, Jeonghan was barely able to catch Joshua before he hit the floor. He lifted him onto the bench and laid him down with his head in his lap.
'God, Jisoo... What is happening to you? What happened while we were apart?'
He hugged his head gently in his arms, and grabbed onto his hand that he had been aching to hold since the start of their conflict. He was torn. How much was Joshua suffering? Was it because of him? Was this Jeonghan's fault? He needs to know.
It didn't take long for Joshua to regain consciousness, probably less than a minute, but it felt like forever. Joshua's eyes started to blink open.
"Hey, I've got you- it's okay. Are you alright, Shua?" Jeonghan tightened his grip on Joshua.
"W-Wha..." He was completely out of it, he looked dizzy.
"Shh, it's okay. Just relax, I'm here, don't worry." Jeonghan gently patted Joshua's head, brushing his bangs away from his eyes and admiring the softness of his hair. He said he wanted to embrace Joshua again, but this isn't what he meant... although, he would be lying if he said that it wasn't nice to hold Joshua again. He couldn't stop looking at him, he felt a warmth ignite in his heart. He was worried sick about him, especially since he just fainted, but it's also the first time he's seen Joshua in a while and he just looks so-...
"What happened...?" Joshua tried sitting up and Jeonghan put a hand on his back and chest to help him. He watched Joshua reorient himself and turn his head in multiple directions, trying to figure out what just happened.
"You fainted. I'm not sure why. We were just here, on the bench talking, and then when you stood up you just fainted all of a sudden. You seem really exhausted these days, Shua." Jeonghan gently grabbed his arm and waited for a response.
Joshua froze, squinting and closing his eyes, trying to remember what had happened just a few moments prior.
"Listen, about earlier-" Jeonghan tried again. Joshua got up (again, and carefully this time) and started walking away. 'What the hell?? Where is this guy going?'
"H-Hey! Jisoo! Where are you going!" Jeonghan quickly got up to follow him, and Joshua started sprinting away.
"For the love of God! What the fuck is going on!?!" Jeonghan chased after him.
YOU ARE READING
Smile Flower | Jihan
Fanfiction[based on the fictional Hanahaki disease] Joshua felt like he was going to die from the sheer stress of it all and he couldn't stop crying. He wasn't crying out of sadness, but out of anxiety, fear, and physical pain. He was scared out of his mind...
