[eng] Leave My Shit Outside ; Ziam

t ; I'M SOMEONE ELSE. IT WAS A DIFFERENT STATE OF MIND

Words: 2,6K

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LIAM'S POV

My eyes are open, but I can't see anything. What I feel is a presence really close to me, touching my skin, the eminent heat, but I cannot move. My breath is speeding up as if I had run the marathon, and when I try to swallow my spit I start to remember that I had that nightmare with Ariel once again.

This darkness suffocates me as if it's something dense, something I'm immersed in and can't just get out. I try to breath in strongly, but the air that comes in is not enough. The wheeze that I do makes me even more nervous.

"Zy." I try to call, forcing myself to sit up, but I also can't. "Zaynie."

"Li?" My lampshade is turned on. "Babe, hey. What's happening?"

Their fingers on my cheek makes me realize that I'm crying, this lump in my throat getting bigger. I cough trying to get some relief, but it gets worse.

"I'm here with you, let's sit up." Zaynie helps me then gets up, going to my side of the bed.

Even if I'm trying not to cry, tears are falling down without my consent. I hold a fist in front of my face trying to canalize my concentration just for this pressure. It works for a while, but that density in the air is still bothering me, I can't breathe properly. I cough even more.

"Here." My girlfriend shakes my inhaler before putting it on my mouth during a break at this coughing fit. "One, two, three."

I hold tight her pajama searching for support, and after some puffs I start to feel a bit better. Zaynie stills paying attention to me, circling my knee with fingertips.

"Any better, honey?" They asks me after a while, handing me a bottle of water. I nod before taking a sip. "Wanna hug?"

We lay back down so we can cuddle, her fingers caressing my head. My chest is still hurting a bit.

"Did something specific happen?"

"A bad dream." I say. A really bad one.

"Do you wanna tell me?" She asks, sweet and kind, but I shake my head no.

I'm still nervous. Can't stop shaking my leg, and to close my eyes would be worse. Don't wanna be swallowed by that heavy darkness once again.

"Sinking right into the crimson clouds, waiting for this thing to spin me out. I'm swimming in my head. Mouth so dry, I could crack my tongue, jaw hanging like an accordion. Let's hope nobody stares. It was a different state of mind, a different state of mind..."

Zaynie's voice gently fills the room and more! It fills my soul. You know that sensation when you drink a big water cup and your stomach feels bigger? This resembles what I'm feeling now. I can't affirm that all that bad feeling just disappeared, but it got smaller. I can think less about it.

"It was a different state of mind, a different state of mind"

"Zy." I call her attention after a break in silence.

"Uhm?" They searches for my face and I take the chance to look at theirs too.

"I love you so much." I affirm after taking a breath.

"Do you... love me?!" She seems to be processing, the eyes kinda widen.

"So much." I emphasize. "It's not only about our relationship, but it's about your person too. You're so precious."

Zaynie is facing me without saying a word, until a smile begins to bright her expression slowly. After this, they starts to laugh and squeezes me, leaning my face between her boobs. A great place to be, I agree.