Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy | ✔️

88| Poetry

Helurrrr

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So sometimes I like to read poetry on wattpad because tbh it's so much easier/faster to read than 17-page-chapters of books and lol I'm just lazy

Of course there are some great poems that I read and my hand is on my heart while fake tears run down my face, but there are just others where I'm like what is this like wtf am i reading

Here's a list of my top 5 poetry sins that I've seen on Wattpad.

Let's just forget the terrible poem I wrote over Christmas 😂 #HypocrisyAtItsFinest

(1) Two Lines coz I'm Lazy

So have you ever been through some of those poetry books where there are literally like a hundred chapters of short-ass poems

And some of them are even one word lines like

Swimming
Frustration
Agitation
Eating
Popcorn
Sorrows

And they call that a legit poem

Like I'm just sensing 0 effort there. Like I thought it was a vocabulary list until you gave it a title and called it a poem.

F for effort. I'm sorry.

Not sorry.

Bitch.

Or, if the poet decides to put in a leeeettlee effort, it's a few more words but still such few lines to the extent that I'm just like no no I'm not reading one hundred poems in which you express your laziness

(2) It HAS To Rhyme. Like There's No Other Choice.

I'm sure you've come across these kinds of poems: the ones where the poet forces things to rhyme to the extent that it makes no fucking sense.

Like it's so bad.

You, my boy, are my light
You always shine, a star so bright
For you always, I will fight
Like a bird taking flight
Paste me in your delight
I want some coke or sprite
This example sucks, I cannot write
Poetry lol. #enjambment

That poem was bliss lol I should definitely take this up as a backup career loooool

But you catching my drift here? The poet focuses too much on making it rhyme at the expense of content and meaning. I hate that.

(3) Trying to Find Them Diamonds

Don't you hate when poets try to dig so deep

Like sometimes it works but other times it is soooo fake, because they're not writing out of legitimacy but rather just to seem deep

Like staaahhhppp

The rain blends my tears
The trees follow my cry
The rocks torture my darkened soul
And the rain turns my tears to blood
I want to tear my hair out
So it can be free of the shackles of my scalp.

Okay I'm feeling like I'm just too insane at writing good poems to follow through my statements 😂😂😂😂

(4) In The Name Of Contemporary

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe beautiful poetry is when it's intricately done and when some traditional rules are still followed like consistent rhyme or rhythm or pentameter or bullshit like that.

And I mean we are in the century where every rule has been broken and everything goes, whether it's in music (oh lawd don't get me started) or literature or movies, but some stuff on Wattpad I fail to understand how it's "contemporary poetry" or whatever

Some of it is just sad and the person (I won't even call them poets) doesn't put any effort or personal flavour into it and I just can't accede to that, man. It's like post-modern art, ya know? That Suite Life On Deck episode where Zack sneezed on a canvas and it was art?

Yes. Some Wattpad poems are the equivalent of that, except it's shit, not snot.

Drip
Drop
Sweat drops.
Tear my skin.
A bear within.
Drip.
Drop.
Cherry pops.

...my examples are too good ffs 😂😂😂

And...was that about having sex? I don't...I don't even know.

Interpret it how you wish!

(5) Naming It 'Reflections'.

If I had a calorie for every poetry book on this fucking site called Reflections, I'd be fucking obese, diabetic and on the verge of my seventh stroke (and heart attack)

Lol
I humour myself sometimes.

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Where are you guys? You've all been so quiet bruh, how's it going?!

Omg let's begin an endless story conversation where someone comments on this sentence one line of a story and the next person replies with the next line of the story and so on and so forth?!

Let's see how this goes😆
#InfiniteStory