Dog Love

Dog Love 17

Kahn pulled away quickly, his lips tingling from being pressed to Shanas. His brown eyes were wide in surprise and guilt started to fill them.

"No, I can't. You can't."

Kahn stood up quickly and went to walk out but as he turned round, his eyes met Joeys. The boy was stood there, his arms folded across his body. Kahn knew that posture, it was when Joey was trying to contain himself.

"Take him to the stables. He can stay there."

Joeys voice was strained and his eyes hard. Kahn had never seen such a cold look in his lovers eyes ever. Shana pulled himself up off the floor, his eyes downwards. Walking past Kahn, their hands brushed and he felt Kahn freeze. It hurt somewhere deep inside Shanas chest. Tears started to well up and he shoved past Joey.

"Don't you come in this house. You're not welcome."

Joeys tone was venomous and Shanas temprement broke. Spinning round he shoved Joey up against the wall only to be pulled away by Kahn. Tears fell down his cheeks and his lips pulled back, baring his teeth. Anger was erasing any amount of sadness or love he had felt before. The boy in front of him had stolen Kahns heart away from him. It hurt too much to leave alone. How dare such a little runt even try to weasel into Kahns heart, steal the love from there.

"Fuck you! Screw the both of you!"

Shana pulled his arms free from Kahn, spinning on his heel and driving his palm across the mans cheek. Kahn yelped out of shock and Joeys eyes widened.

"I waited for you and you never came! You've been living here all cosy with this little piece!"

Kahn went to touch Shanas cheek, to calm him down when the young man pulled back. His eyes were full of hurt, distrust and on top of it there was betrayal. Kahn didn't like that, he didn't like to see the betrayal there because he knew he was the cause.

"I love you! But you never loved me, you never noticed me. Because I'm just your...brother..."

Shanas brow creased and he pulled away as Kahn moved to comfort him. Tears flooding down his pale cheeks and wetting his shirt. Pulling at the ends of his hair, Shana closed his eyes. He hated the feeling of being weak.

"He used me as a object, something he owned. So when he was having sex with me I imagined it was you."

Joeys cheeks flushed in shame and embarrassment as Shana spoke. He was holding tightly onto his sleeve as he watched Kahns cheeks flush slightly. Kahn went to explain himself when Shana turned his head away to silence him.

"I don't want to hear it. I'll leave today."

Kahns eyes widened in dismay and his hand gently closed round Shanas wrist.

"You can't leave! I was looking for you! I've always looked for you, I want to look for Jinta with you too."

Shana shook his wrist free from Kahns grasp and walked out of the small bathroom. Kahns words were still ringing in his ears as he walked out into the sunlight. But he didn't fight about finding Jinta, he wanted to find her. He wanted their family back together again.

Joey looked at Kahn, he could tell that the heavier built man was subjecting himself to an internal debate. His body was tense, ready to follow Shana but not doing so.

"How much do you love me...and how much do you love him?"

The young boy watched as Kahn slowly turned round, his brown eyes that had been light and carefree that morning replaced by heaviness, desperation and guilt. Joey didn't understand how the feminine man could have made such a selfish move, kissing a man who was already in a loving relationship.

"I love him, but I love you more."

Joeys heart stopped still for a moment. His eyes connected with his lovers and all he could feel was shame. How could he have asked that question? Not once in 5 years had Kahn treat him wrong. The older man who could come across as rough handed and brutish was always the one to back down in an argument. Even if he wasn't wrong. He walked forwards quickly and gently cupped Kahns face.

"I'm sorry, I should never have asked that."

Joey was surprised when Kahn started to cry. Silent tears slid down Kahns broad cheekbones and over Joeys fingers. Joey had never seen Kahn cry before and he didn't like it. It made him miserable deep into his heart. Pulling Kahns head down slightly he let the older man lean into him and stroked his hair. He knew that it was partially his fault Shana had snapped. He had acted overly lovey to push Shanas boundaries, to see were they would breach. He just never expected there to be such a severe backlash, especially not one were Kahn suffered. Kissing his lovers temple, Joey knew he had to convince Shana to stay.