genshin impact headcanons

a guide to surviving the harbingers

all of these people are as awful as possible, reader is completely unmentioned/implied to be reading this (woaaa), some points are purposely vague

so I got like half way through writing this and I was like "I feel like someone has done this before", so if something like this does exist props to the writer. on the original post someone also said columbina sounds like an scp I love it

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First and foremost: all orders are absolute. Your position depends heavily on your compliance. Insubordination and attitude in front of the wrong person will get you no further than a six-foot hole in the ground. Sir and ma'am are important to some, less so to others.

Do not ever refer casually to the Jester. His name carries weight even among the somewhat secluded ranks of the Tsaritsa's servants. His word outweighs almost everyone, and he is never to be trifled with. Remain calm. Remain polite. Don't speak unless spoken to, and never more than necessary. Complete all work around him as quickly, quietly and with as much precision as possible. Any sign of incompetence is grounds for him to have you stripped of your position and punished harshly.

The Doctor runs low on subjects frequently. Keep his stock filled no matter where the people have to come from. Several sources are available. The head maid will help newcomers learn of these. Staying out of both his laboratory and his way completely will keep you from becoming a part of the next group. It's best not to become very attached to any of his assistants.

Tartaglia is deceptively kind. Don't be afraid of his smile, don't be too slow with fulfilling his requests—they won't be requests if you make him wait. Unlike most, he seems more aggressive than he is. Don't worry. His eagerness for fighting does not extend to those who cannot fight unless you stand in his way. Do not speak a word of official affairs, titles, formalities or position in the presence of his siblings.

Don't refuse Sandrone's gifts, but understand that they can quickly become bad omens. Those who she becomes fond of receive many of her gifts. Her affectionate gifts will lead to less than favourable fates. She can be avoided, and she is usually not hostile towards those who she only finds passively annoying or uninteresting. She only gives gifts to the ones she likes.

If you hear the voice of the Damselette, you should leave the area before she sees you and busy yourself in a place where you can no longer hear her. Colombina's song is for the ears of few, and servants do not fit that group.

Out of everyone, Arlecchino is most dangerous to someone forced to be subservient to her. Her words can sound prettier than they are, and she is polite even to servants, but she is a spider who crafts a neat little web for the poor souls who are unlucky enough to anger her or catch her in a particularly foul mood.

Pulcinella is the second to avoid. Remain polite. Respect your elders. Do not follow Sandrone's steps; deny his kindness. Act as if inconveniencing him would be a detriment to your greater conscience so that it would no longer be kindness. His offers are never for your benefit.

In line with her ideals, La Signora has those she likes and those who can only irritate her. If she likes you, tread carefully, obey her orders and fulfil any and all wishes she has of you regardless of your opinion on the matter. It's not important. Don't question, don't challenge. If you are among those she doesn't like, assign your tasks to those she does. It's better you don't find out what happens when a rat gets on her nerves.

Capitano can be frightful, but his commands are simple and easy to follow at a glance. Treat his words like orders. There are many things you can get out of easier than you think, many you cannot. Stay out of them all. He is strong; he can break you.

The Regrator and his generosity are never what they seem. Luxuries come at a steep cost, one that few are willing to pay, however, it's best not to go too far and test your luck. Pantalone is never so benevolent he gives out gifts at the same price forever, the market changes too quickly. Don't be caught in that trap, and there's nothing to worry about.

Though praises for him are quite few and far between, the Balladeer is quite easy to deal with if the day is good. He expects for orders to be carried out quickly, efficiently and exactly as he gives them. he doesn't not take kindly to initiative and can see it as issuing your own orders. Wait for his word. Orders will come.