Childhood Friends

Chapter Nine

⚠️⚠️WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SELF HARM TRIGGERS⚠️⚠️

After shutting the curtains, I pull out my phone and connect it to the speakers in my room. I start blasting My Chemical Romance. I lay on the bed as the recollection of the day fills my mind. I scream into a pillow. God, why is life like this. I never should've been friends with Kai. I was right all those years ago, friends are pain. I throw that same pillow across the room, pulling my phone out and going to my contact list. His name is at the top. My thumb hovers over the delete contact button.

I end up just throwing the phone into my bedside drawer, turning the speakers in the room up some more to drown everything out, including my thoughts. I bury my face in a pillow. 

*Six Hours Later*

I don't know when I fell asleep, but apparently I did because my speakers are blasting some random-ass song that probably comes after the first few hours of My Chemical Romance. My pillow is wet and so are my cheeks. I must've been crying. Gross. Sitting up, I fix my hair. I vaguely wonder where my phone is before remembering that I had tossed it in my bedside drawer. 

I grab my phone, turning it on. The screen it shows are the texts between me and Kai from last night:

Kai: I know you're not sleeping.
Kai: Go to sleep, Zac

Zac: You can't possibly know that
Zac: Also you'd have to be awake right now to say any of this so ha!

Kai:...
Kai: ur insufferable

Zac: I'm right.

Kai:...never said u were

Zac: excuse me

Kai: weren't*

Zac: Exactly
Zac: u go to sleep. u need it, jock boy

Kai: says u
Kai: but i am gonna anyway
Kai:  Not cuz u said anything just cuz i want to

Zac: mhm

Kai: u go to sleep, too, emo boy, I can hear ur music. close the window

Zac: shut up

Kai: why'd the music stop

Zac:........

Kai: haha

Zac: whatever

Kai:i'ma slep
Kai: sleep*

Zac: good go do that
*read at 1:24 am*

I frown. Tears are on my cheeks again, in my eyes, on the phone screen. I throw the phone. It hits the wall and I hear the slight cracking of the screen. It doesn't matter, I have two others I can use. I bury my face back in the pillow, screaming again. The speakers have stopped blaring music since the phone obviously broke and the speakers were disconnected. I sigh heavily. I can't have a breakdown without music. 

I scrounge around my bedside drawer, looking for one of my back-up phones. My finger gets a small pain and I wince, pulling my hand out. Paper cut. On what? I sit up and peek inside the drawer. A photo. Of course, just when I thought I couldn't make the breakdown worse. The photo is actually from last year, maybe a month or two before Kai and Jason got together. It was the basketball team...and me. Kai was kinda holding me up with the help of Jason. We were all laughing. I think they lost that game, actually. It didn't matter to them. They had played together, and they had had fun. Plus, Kai had had me. That made him happy...or so I thought.

I threw the picture back in the drawer as more tears fell. I grabbed one of the back-up phones that I could see, and just started blasting My Chemical Romance, screaming the lyrics as I cried. It was weird, even I have to admit that, but it was my way of coping. It made me feel better, so it doesn't matter what people think. It's not like they'll ever see me having a breakdown anyway. I'm just the quiet, emo, nerdy kid who sits at the back of class, friends with the best player on the basketball team. Now they can gossip about how the stupid gullible emo boy and the friendly, stupid jock boy broke off their friendship. I punched the pillow I was clutching.

Life is so fucking stupid sometimes. I sigh and just sit on the bed, listening to my music blasting through the speakers. No one can hear it, no matter how loud it gets. The room is soundproof, and the window is closed. No noise complaints for me, yippee. 

I get up and walk over to my dresser, opening the top drawer and shifting things around before opening a secret compartment. I grab the small blade that's in there. I sharpen it against the metal in the drawer and then go back to my bed. I sit on the floor leaning against the bed. I take a deep breath and slide the blade across my skin, pressing down hard. It creates a slightly deep cut and I grit my teeth. It's been a long while since I've done this. I'm not used to the pain anymore. Clenching my teeth tightly, a create another cut on my wrist. The blood flows, dripping down onto the black carpet. I add three more to my right wrist and then switch so I can cut the left wrist. Tears run down my face as I clench my teeth, creating more and more cuts on my skin.

As I am wrapping my wrists in bandages, I hear a loud knock at the front door. I was in the kitchen. I curse loudly and shout, "Just a minute!!" I wrap the rest in a messy way before pulling my sleeves down. It looks a little puffy there, but otherwise unnoticeable. I go to the front door and answer it. It's Kai's mom...

"Hey, Zac, I heard you poured milk on Kai today. He won't tell me what he did, so I figured I would ask you." She says.

"Um, I don't feel like talking about it right now, sorry, ma'am." I mutter, putting a blank expression on my face.

"No? So neither of you boys are going to tell me what happened?"

"Not now. I'm sorry. I'm just really tired and I want to take a nap, or maybe even just sleep." I lie. "If you don't mind?"

She sighs. "Of course, Zachary. I'll be trying to get something out of Kai. I know you would never do something so mean with having a reason to do it." She smiles at me. "Now, I'll leave you be. Sleep well, Zac." She turns around to leave and I close the door, locking it.

Sometimes, I really don't understand people. Kai should just fess up to what he did. Maybe I should've told her what he did. Honestly, it doesn't matter right now. Right now, I need to properly focus on getting these bandages on my wrists the right way. I sigh once again.

A/N

Welp.........that happened. I did not start this chapter with the intention of having Zac cut his wrists. It was a heat of the moment thing. Sorry if any of y'all got triggered or anything...anyway...

As always, comment any ideas you have for me, I'll think them through!