Instagram & Spam

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::Tiana::

I woke up the next morning to my annoying ass alarm vibrating on my phone. I’ve learned that having my phone alarm vibrate was better than using music, simply because music helps me stay asleep & vibrating annoys the hell outta me. Anyway I got up did my morning hygiene & put on my old uniform: black shirt, black pants, black shoes. I’m supposed to get the red shirt today, I guess. I can’t believe I have to be up this early, why do I have to go in 2 hours before the place opens anyway, the first shift doesn’t even show up until an hour after me. Anyway, I walked downstairs to grab something to eat, and to my surprise Issa… was up… cooking, hasn’t even been 48 hours and he’s already trying to kill me. “Good morning” I said as I grabbed a bowl & other items for cereal “Morning love” he replied with his attention still focused on the disaster he was making “Whatcha cookin” I asked taking a spoonful of cereal “Bacon, eggs, and waffles…?” he said making it sound like more of question than a reply, I raised an eyebrow & looked over at the stove area “You do know bacon & waffles aren’t supposed to be black & eggs aren’t supposed to be watery, right??” somebody please teach this boy how to cook “I like my bacon extra crispy, and I didn’t wanna burn the eggs so I stopped cooking em… want me to fix you a plate” oh hell no! “Nah, besides I don’t like my bacon ‘crispy’ nor my waffles & I don’t even eat eggs” I really don’t eat eggs & I would prefer my bacon & waffles to actually look the way they’re supposed to & not like charcoal. He started cussing under his breath “Issa, do you need help??” I asked grabbing a banana, he didn’t respond, he just threw everything away & walked upstairs. I chuckled & started to play “housewife” only because he looked extremely hungry & he really tried & since I had some time to spare. I grabbed the bacon & waffles & placed them on 2 separate pans & put em in the oven, and then grabbed the eggs & started to cook them, hey! Just because I don’t eat ‘em doesn’t mean I don’t know how to cook them, my adoptive mom taught me how to cook during my first summer with her. Once everything was done I put the waffles on a plate, grabbed the whip cream & cut up some strawberries to top the waffles & poured strawberry syrup all over them & I added a little bit of powdered sugar. Damn, I need to make some for myself when I get off. Then I put the eggs & bacon on the plate; that was for him, and since I was running out of time I just ate a waffle & couple of strips of bacon. Once I finished eating I grabbed his plate & took it upstairs since I needed my phone anyway. I went upstairs and he was lying on his back, so I took the plate over to him & kissed his cheek “Next time just ask for help” I giggled & grabbed my phone off the nightstand & walked out.

::Issa::

I woke up this morning feeling great since Tee & I had worked everything out, so I decided to cook breakfast for her this morning & after about 3 attempts she came downstairs & I was fucking up again, maybe I was feeling a little too good, I know good & damn well I can’t cook nothing to save my life, everything I buy is either take out or microwavable, Tiana bought all this shit you gotta cook, so after it didn’t work out after try number 4 I got frustrated and came back into my room to think about what else I could for her since I know a little bit more about her past, I can’t believe she went through something like that, and now I feel even worse for what I did to her in high school. I guess I was in my thoughts longer than expected because I didn’t realize Tiana had come back in here until I saw her walking out the door giggling. I looked to my left & saw a plate of food on the nightstand on her side of the room, yes she does sleep in here every now & then, but damn that food looks amazing I almost don’t wanna eat it, but I’m hungry. This is too perfect to go un-recognized, so I pulled out my phone & took a picture of my breakfast & posted it on instagram under the caption: “#Heaven …I think I just found my wife” & inserted a lot of hearts for eyes emojis & then I commented on it “Thanks @TomorrowLetsBeWeird!!” & put a few blowing a kiss (or heart) emojis at the end. Then I finished devouring my breakfast & went downstairs to put the plate in the sink, I’ll wash it later. I went upstairs & grabbed my phone went back on instagram & noticed I had 200+ likes & like 60 comments from that one picture, I read a few of the comments… “Damn! Girls from our generation can actually cook” “Shiiiiddddd where can I find one???” “Don’t fuck up with her bruh, girls like her are rare” & then I saw Que’s response “Save me a plate I’m on my way!!!!” I chuckled & replied “@Jacquees she only made one plate bruh” I kept scrolling & saw Amber comment “She probably poisoned you, I can come over & cook for you ;-)” there’s always a hater & homewrecker lurking I replied “@AmberNicole if she did I’ll die a satisfied man :-) but thanks for your concern” what she thought??? I don’t want her at all anymore, I don’t see why I did in the first place, Amber was a worst cook than me; I tend to overcook food, while she undercooked or didn’t cook. I kept scrolling down my instagram feed looking at all the random, irrelevant pictures, until I came across a picture of my little sister & I under the caption: “I miss my big bro, but I still love you @issaiam” with a few sad face & crying emojis of course I had to drop a comment on that “I love you too little sis ♥ I’ll come by either today or tomorrow :-)” hmm… I think it’s time for Tee to meet my family before we go to D.C. I continued to scroll down instagram a little more until I received a notification, I clicked on it & saw that Agyei replied to me “@issaiam yayy! Can’t wait, hope you bring your girlfriend :-)” how the hell did she know that “how you know???” I responded & waited on her reply, instead she texted me “I saw the picture of your food on instagram” so I called her “Issa!” she practically screamed in my ear “What does the picture have to do with anything?” I asked getting straight to the point “I think I just found my wife… does that ring a bell??” “But how you know she’s my girlfriend, she could just be a friend” “Yeah right, no other girl has even stepped foot inside your house since Amber, let alone long enough to cook for you & then I started scrolling through the news feed to see what pictures people were liking or commenting on & I saw the way you replied to Amber, so I know she didn’t cook” damn! Why does my little sister have to be so smart “Ok, ok fine, she’s my girlfriend” I said giving in “I knew it! So when do we get to meet her??” she asked excitedly “I don’t know, she’s at work right now” “Ok, well I wanna meet her & I’m sure mom will too… wait a minute, were yall together the last time you came over here???” she said remembering me visiting recently “No, we just started dating Saturday” I smiled to myself. “Well I gotta go, bring her over soon, please” “Alright, I’ll see what I can do” and with that we hung up.

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