One Hundred Sleepless Nights

10

Its Saturday night which usually means I'm at work at this time, but instead I have a rare night off. This happens every so often when we have a new member training, and even though it means less tips since Saturday is a busy night, it also means I get to go out and act like a normal person.

I texted Tony much to my own annoyance but he was busy. I'm assuming some band thing since that's where he usually is when we're not together. So instead I messages Elijah, a guy who I see sometimes when both of us are free and bored. 

Elijah's different from the other guys in the sense that we sometimes actually get outside of one anothers bedrooms for a little bit of time. Tonight is one of those nights. 

We find ourselves walking along the boardwalk, no real plans other than to get food and casual drinks before going back to my place. A perfect night really.

"I hadn't heard from you in awhile." he says as we stroll. "I thought you gave up on me."

I can't help but laugh. "Never. I've just been working a lot lately I guess."

"Ah, the most common excuse ever and you used it on me."

I scoff. "its not an excuse, I genuinely have been. I can send you my schedule if you want."

"Yeah, I do want that. Send it to me so I know where to pencil myself in."

I roll my eyes at him. "Shut up. We're here now aren't we?"

"You're right, you're right." he says. "But you still have to make up for the neglect you've made me feel."

"I'll do that later tonight."

He rolls his eyes but I can tell he liked my response.

An hour later we find ourselves hungry so we stop at one of the best taco trucks in the entire city and maybe even the world for that matter. He orders the second spiciest tacos that they serve - a mistake that he'll learn soon enough. 

As we wait for our tacos I take the time to glance around the area. I haven't been here as much as I'd like to, its truly a gorgeous area. The boardwalk is lined with businesses - some bars, some nice dining areas, some street trucks, you name it. There's a fence blocking the access to each establishment, with trees lining the fence. Overall its a gorgeous place. Clearly I'm not the only one who thinks so, the patios are filled with people.

As I take the time to look at everyone, my eyes fall onto one person in particular.

Tony.

He's at one of the nicer restaurants along the boardwalk, if not the nicest one. He's definitely dressed for the occasion. His hair is slicked back in the most handsome way ever, and from what I can see he's wearing a solid black button down, probably with some nice black pants and shoes. He's sitting across from some woman, who from here looks absolutely beautiful, but that's not the point. The point is he's out with someone. On a date. And it makes me feel a feeling I haven't felt in a very long time. One that I never wanted to feel.

I try to look away but my brain doesn't want to. 

I stare him down as he stays oblivious to me, clearly enjoying his date. The woman he's with says something with a lot of hand gestures which makes him laugh. He leans in closer to her as he laughs and she puts her hand on his forearm. He doesn't seem to mind it.

They seem close, almost as if its not their first time going out together. I wonder if he's been seeing her the entire time that he's been seeing me? Maybe he was seeing her before me and thats why he's even in town. I want to ask him but I don't want to seem like I'm desperate or something. 

"Hey, your tacos." Elijah says from beside me, breaking me from my trance.

"Oh, thanks." I say as I turn my attention to him.

"You okay?"

I nod at him. "Was just lost in my own world, sorry."

He nods at me but I can tell he's not convinced. His eyes briefly drift to where mine just were on Tony but he doesn't say anything about him. He looks at him with narrowed eyes, knowing that he's the one who had my attention.

"Are you going to eat your tacos just hold them?" Elijah asks with a laugh.

Suddenly everything is unappealing to me. These tacos, this boardwalk, Elijah, even myself. I don't want any of it anymore.

"Maybe I should head out." I say to Elijah.

"Because of that guy?" he says without even missing a beat. "Is that why we haven't seen each other in awhile, you're seeing someone?"

I scoff. "I'm not seeing anyone, he's just a friend."

"Yeah, I've never looked at a friend the way you just looked at that guy." he says then takes a massive bite of his taco.

"I didn't look at him in any type of way." I say but my cheeks are already warming.

"Yeah, sure." he says. "Look I don't really care either way, I just want to know if we're still going back to your place tonight or not."

I could say no, after all I'm not really in the mood now. But instead we go back to my place together and the entire time I pretend he's Tony.