One Hundred Sleepless Nights

19

I reach for my phone as I head out the door, ready to text Tony an excuse as to why I'm late getting to his place, but before I can step out the door, I notice someone blocking my way.

"Jaime." I say, equally happy as I am confused. "What're you doing here?"

He smiles at me, clearly nervous. "I just wanted to see you. Its been awhile." he says, then noticing the bag over my shoulder and the fact that I'm on my way out says "Unless you're going somewhere?"

I shake my head. "I can push it."

We stand there for a second, him on the porch and me in the doorway before I remember for him to come in I actually need to move. 

"Sorry, come in." I say as I step to the side. 

Jaime comes in slowly, looking carefully around my place. It hadn't occurred to me that he actually has never been to my place before. He takes in everything slowly, his eyes lingering on each piece of furniture, each piece of art, everything. His eyes linger on a painting I have beside the door. Its one that I had before, one he's already seen. I wonder how strange this feels to him.

While he's distracted I take a second to quickly shoot Tony a text to let him know I'll be there at 4 instead. I pray he doesn't call to ask why, I don't need the risk of Jaime recognizing his voice.

I promise I'll tell them both soon. Before they leave on tour. I need to.

"You working today?" he asks. He goes over to my TV stand where I have plenty of knick-knacks and studies them one by one. They're not that interesting, one is literally a candle holder thats a lamb. Not super cool, but I guess to him its part of my "new" life.

"No, but I worked yesterday, or well, technically today until 2." I say.

"That must be tiring." he says, turning to face me.

Jaime is usually the kind of guy whos always happy and smiling, but right now is one of those more serious moments where he's feeling nervous. I can tell he's happy to be here, otherwise he wouldn't have come, but its been a long time so it'll take awhile for us to find our rhythm again.

"You work late too, you must know how it is." I point out. "Plus at this point my schedule has changed to adapt."

"Yeah  I get that, at first I couldn't stand to be awake past 1." he says. "Well, you know. We were still talking when I first started touring."

I smile at him thinking back to those days. He was so excited when they went on their first tour. I don't think he slept the entire week before it. He checked in every single day before the tour to make sure it was still happening as if somehow it would be cancel and their shot would be gone. Looking at them now its crazy to see how far they've come. I've watched the band over the years grow, obviously from a distance, but I've still been so proud.

"How long have you lived here?" Jaime asks me after yet another beat of silence.

I bring my arms up to my shoulders, hugging myself. "About two years."

He nods in an approving manner. "Its nice." he says, a silence filling the room after. "I'm not too far from here, like maybe a twenty minute walk."

"Oh, cool." I say. I don't really know what to say to him, I wasn't prepared for this. "Do you live, like, alone?"

Good job Alia.

"Yeah, I'm not seeing anyone." he says.

"Why not?"

He shrugs. "We've been touring a lot, its kinda hard to date someone."

My stomach twists a little thinking of how Tony is leaving for tour and how its going to be hard when he's away.

"You're touring a lot? I heard you weren't." I say without thinking.

"Where'd you hear that?" he asks.

Oops. Probably shouldn't have said that. I could come clean with Jaime now. If he gets mad at least he'll be gone on tour in two weeks. Its not like we've really hung out while he was in town, I'm not even used to having him back so it'll really be like nothing changed between us at all.

"This is weird, right? Me being here?" Jaime asks.

"A little." I admit. "But its a nice weird."

His hands come together in a nervous ball. "I wanted to see you before I left again. I have a tour soon, for four months."

I nod as if this is news to me. "Are you coming back after?"

"Yeah, of course. I was hoping when I got back we could hangout more?"

I blink in surprise. I kind of figured he would try to blow me off since he did it this time.

"Yeah, of course." I say. "I'd love that."

"I know we didn't get much time together while I was here and thats on me. I don't really know what to say?"

"Oh me neither!" I say, my entire body visibly relaxing. "I'm so glad it wasn't just me. I almost asked you if your favourite colour changed!"

Jaime laughs. Like really laughs. His dimples come out just like they used to.

"It hasn't." he assures me. "It's still green."

"I had a feeling but I didn't want to make assumptions either."

"Look, I wont keep you longer since you're clearly headed somewhere, but text me sometime before the 24th to let me know when you're free and we'll do something."

"I'll do that." I say with a smile. 

Jaime goes to turn but hesitates. He looks back at me, a confused look on his face. I think maybe he doesn't remember where the door is or he doesn't know how to get back home from here, but instead he just comes towards me slowly, his arms outstretched. I give him a smile to show him I think he's ridiculous, but I accept the hug and wrap my arms around him.

Its nice to hug him again. It feels so warm and safe. Familiar. 

"I'll see you soon, Lia." Jaime says, using the nickname he's always called me.

I watch him as he walks out my place. I've honestly never been happier in my life.