One Hundred Sleepless Nights

21

Tony is officially leaving in two days and it fucking sucks. We've spent every single second together aside from when I go to work and he goes to tour meetings. 

"One of my band members is having this thing tomorrow." Tony informs me. "It starts around 10, but I'm only headed there around 1. Maybe you wanted to come?"

Jaime already invited me to the party tomorrow. He texted me yesterday asking me to come, saying it'll be the last time we see each other for a bit and that he wanted to see me one last time and introduce me to everyone he knows. I guess everyone from his circle is going to be there.

I told Jaime I would show up, so up until this very moment I was stressing about how I was going to say bye to Jaime and avoid Tony but now the situation seems pretty simple. I just need to only see Jaime and to leave before 1am.

"I have plans already." I say to Tony which technically isn't a lie.

"You're not working?" Tony says. He's learned my schedule by now, there's no way I would've even tried to attempt to lie about that one.

"I have more of a life than just work." I say to Tony, attempting to use humour to distract him from asking what plans I actually have.

Tony raises an eyebrow at me. He opens his mouth to say something then closes it right away. I know somethings on his mind so I prompt him to speak up.

"Say it." I tell him. 

"A part of me is worried that you've replaced me already." he says quietly, his eyes staring down at the floor.

"Are you serious?" I ask, completely shocked. "Tony, I would never. You're honestly the only person I want."

Tony nods his head but its clear he's not convinced. I wish I could show him inside my head so he could see how much I adore him.

"I mean it. No one compares." I assure him.

"And you wont get bored when I'm on the road?" he asks me. "You told me once that if you don't see the person you're with for awhile you forget about them and move on."

"Yeah but those people weren't you. I don't think I could ever move on." I say and I truly mean it. Being with Tony feels like being set on fire in the best way ever. I could never get enough of this feeling.

"You're the one who's going to be surrounded by a bunch of women who will do anything you ask them to." I point out. "You don't think that makes me nervous?"

"I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize us." he says to me.

"Me neither."

His eyes find mine and I see his vulnerabilities melt away at my words. We're both on the same page.

"I know its still early," Tony says "But I would regret not taking the chance to say this." 

He stares into my eyes, searching mine. "I love you."

Unfortunately for me, my brain stops working and the first words out of my mouth are "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." he says. "I've felt it for awhile but I didn't want to say it until we were together and I know you don't feel the same but no pressure, you don't need to say it yet."

I stare at him dumbfounded. 

He loves me?

I can't believe it. 

He loves me.

It makes me so excited.

He loves me!

"Alia?" Tony says, bringing me back from my zone out. "You good?

I nod. 'Yeah, I am. I'm happy."

"So you're still not going to run even though I said I loved you?"

"No." I say with a laugh. "I would never run and for the record, I'm close to loving you. I just need a bit more time."

"I know." Tony says. His eyes soften and he reaches his hand out to my face. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you more."

"At least we have now." he says, pulling me against him.

I rest my head against his chest and breathe the moment in, knowing that soon we wont have this anymore.