One Hundred Sleepless Nights

27

Jaime pushes past me, walking onto PTV's bus. He doesn't even glance my way as he walls by, trying to close the doors before I can push past them, but I manage to get inside in time.

"Jaime-" I start as I trail him.

"I can't even fucking look at you." he growls to me, still walking away from me. "Go home."

"I need you to listen to me, ple-"

He whirls around in a second so we're pretty much face to face. His eyes are completely filled with anger and it scares the shit out of me.

"Is that your fucking type? People I'm close with? Or are you just doing it because you fucking hate me?" he yells.

I fight to keep my fast approaching tears at bay. I know if I start crying now I wont be able to explain myself, I'll just be a blubbering mess which will make him even angrier. 

"Its not like that, I swear." I manage to get out.

"Oh, what, you actually care for him?" he sneers, clearly not believing that I could be available to someone beyond just sleeping with them.

"I do! I genuinely do, its different with Tony."

"How long?" he asks, his eyes glaring into mine. "How long have you been fucking my best friend, Alia?"

This question is a lose-lose. If I say its been going on for awhile Jaime will feel completely betrayed that both his sister and best friend kept the secret from him for the better part of a year, but if I say its a one off it'll seem like I'm willing to throw my relationship with Jaime away for any random quick fuck.

"I met him that first night we were supposed to see each other." 

He blinks at me in shock. "I blew you off so you blew my best friend? Thats how it works in your head?"

"Jaime, its not like that. It just happened, okay?" I say. "I didn't mean for it to, but we got really close-"

"Did he know?"

The silence hangs in the air around us. Jaime has lost me again but this moment dictates whether or not he's losing both of us. I'm not sure which one of us will be a harder lose for him, but I think its Tony so I'm about to do everything in my power to make sure Tony doesn't have to suffer for my mistake. They can even bond over how much they hate me.

"No." 

Jaime lets out a cold laugh just like he had the last time. I fucked this up for good. He's never going to speak to me again, I know it. This time he wont change his mind either. I'm officially dead to him.

"So that night at my place, that's when he found out?" he says before letting out another laugh. "You are fucking unbelievable. You're the worst, you know that? You're a terrible fucking sister. I wish I didn't even have one at this point."

"I'm sorry." I say, the tears now coming. "I didn't want it to be like this."

"You should've thought of that before you FUCKED MY BEST FRIEND!" Jaime yells at me. "I can't fucking believe you did this. Again. You're supposed to be my sister, the one person I can count on, and instead of being that person you fucked me over again like the terrible person you are."

"Jaime, man, thats enough." a voice says from behind me.

I glance over my shoulder to see Tony standing behind me, looking just about as pissed off as Jaime is. I'm not sure if he's mad at me or the situation at hand.

Jaime studies Tony and I, him standing behind me as if to protect me. I'm sure its only going to make the situation worse.

"You fucked my sister." Jaime says. "And you're giving me shit for being angry about that?"

"I didn't know she was your sister." Tony says, his voice holding a faint pleading tone.

"You didn't know 10 minutes ago?" Jaime asks dryly, knowing full well what the answer is.

Tony doesn't have a response for that and neither do I. Jaime has every single right to be as hurt as he is, we can't really say shit about it. We put our wants above him and now he's found out and we have to pay the price for it.

"Jaimes you've been drinking, I don't want you to say anything you're going to regret tomorrow morning." Tony says.

Jaime stares him down, his eyes filled with hatred. For a second I'm convinced he's going to lunge at Tony, but he doesn't even make a single move at all which is somehow worse.

"I don't want to see either of you again." Jaime says. 

"We're on a tour-" Tony starts to say before Jaime cuts him off.

"There's a month left, but after that, we're done." he says. "That goes for you too, Alia."

Jaime turns and heads towards the back of the bus, leaving Tony and I there to soak up the entire situation. Neither of us dare to go after him, in fact we don't move for what feels like the longest time ever.

Both of us stand there in shock, hurting over a heartbreak that we caused, with no way of fixing it.