The Crater

Chapter 15 - The second confession

"So, Cate...about Bryan..."

I rolled my eyes. "What about him?"

"Is there a particular reason you don't like him? Other than he's the one shagging Sandy?"

Well if you only knew, Paulson...

"Why would I care who shags -as you politely put it- Sandy?"

Sarah smirked at that. "Don't you?"

"Don't I what?"

"Cate, seriously, either you think I'm stupid and blind, or you're not aware that you're as subtle as a gun"

Guilty.

"Can't it be both?". I laughed at her offended face. "However, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't like him because he seems entitled and obnoxious, but other than that I don't care about him"

"Evidently, because you care about Sandra"

"Of course I care about her!" She was all smug with her aha expression. Why was I even bothering anyway? I could talk with my friend about my feelings, without revealing anything, couldn't I?

"Cate..."

"Fine, I've fallen for her"

Now I erased her smugness. "Whaa...?"

"Isn't that what you were trying to get out of me?! Why are you shocked?"

"Well no! I thought you were gonna say you had a crush on her or whatever ridiculous word you use in Australia. But fallen in love?! My god!"

"Oh..." Oops.

"Oh? OH?! No wonder you killed that dude with your eyes!"

"He's a jackass anyways. Do you think she noticed?"

"Did she... OF COURSE SHE NOTICED! She kept looking at you, and you were red as fire. What I don't know is if she knows it's because you like her or if it's just because he's an ass"

So she knows.

"It's not like she would care. They're together and that's it"

Sarah was quizzically looking at me. "There's a piece missing here..."

"No, seriously. I mean you know all that has been happening with Andrew, and this is just the cherry-on-top. It's not like I'm going to do anything or act on it"

Well...

"Have you asked her? How do you think she feels?"

"I have no clue. What do you think?"

She thought about it for a while. "To be honest, it's quite obvious that she likes you. But I don't know to what extent. She's... I don't know... dryer? She's very reserved and serious, so it's hard to tell. But she's always hanging onto you, laughing and joking with you... touching, smiling..."

I think I was grinning at those words.

"And you're so into her. You look like a friggin' teenager all smiley"

"Maybe. And you know, it's been a pleasure to talk to you here in the lobby, but I need to get some rest". That and I definitely didn't want to bump again into Bryan.

"Fine. Let's go upstairs so you can take a bath thinking about your crush"

"Shut up!" I said laughing. Inside, however, I didn't know how to feel. How could you be one minute on top of the mountain, and seconds later be going through hell?

What was I supposed to do? Wait for her to appear back? Go to her?

___

I was sitting in my robe, after taking a long shower. My phone on my hand looking at her chat, waiting for those dreadful three dots to show on screen.

Nothing.

I went through my photo gallery, finding our latest pictures from Long Beach. I lingered on one photo: she was in the balcony of the vineyard's main house. Wine glass in her hand, looking at the horizon. The sunset shy rays highlighting her sharp features.

Flashback

She turned back after a while, to find me sitting down and staring at her. She smiled and walked towards the table.

"Did you know that it's rude to stare?"

"Who says I was staring at you?"

"My god, who are you flirting with?". She turned around to double-check if someone else was there.

I laughed so hard at that. "Jealous?"

She smacked my arm. "Ass".

"The abuse!"

"Oh, shut up"

"I needed to focus to get the right moment". I handed her my phone, showing her that picture. "You're absolutely gorgeous, you know that?"

She stood silent looking at the screen.

"You don't like it?". She came back to earth, and she grabbed my hand.

"Yes, yes I do. It's just that...", She hesitated for a minute. "I hate pictures of myself, I never feel like I look good. Too much make-up, to many wrinkles, too much whatever"

"That's not true..."

"It's just how I feel. This job puts too much pressure on your looks. But anyway... this picture I love. It's been so long since I looked that confident, and relaxed at the same time".

She took a sip of her wine. You wouldn't think that the great Sandra Bullock had self-esteem issues.

"And that's because of you. I'm truly happy here. With you".

If only I could insert in her brain how perfect she was, how I felt about her, how I saw her beauty in every single way.

"So am I"

End of flashback