The Crater

Chapter 16 - The winner takes it all

(A/N: I'm pretty sure you all know the song, but just for ambiance's sake: https://youtu.be/l1yae4-XvM4. Thanks for all your comments, I always look forward to them)

Sandra B.: Can we talk?

Cate B.: Sure. When and where?

Sandra B.: Now? Can we go to the terrace?

Cate B.: Okay. See you in 10.

____

I was anxiously waiting for her to show up. I didn't expect less of her, she answered right away, even after I waited for 2 long days. In my mind a song kept playing on repeat, I didn't know why.

"Hey", she softly said after arriving.

"Hi. Thank you for coming"

"Why wouldn't I?". That only made me feel worse.

I couldn't reply back, because I was gathering all my strength. I couldn't understand myself, and these past days had been hectic. A fucking rollercoaster, from jealousy, to ecstasy, to agony, and to whatever in hell I was feeling today.

"Cate, it's just... it's not an explanation or an excuse. I don't know where to begin".

"Well, try to begin". She seemed different, for whatever reason I couldn't pinpoint. I probably seemed tired, restless, a mess.

I don't wanna talk

About things we've gone through

Though it's hurting me

Now it's history

"I have two kids, and at least Louis knows what it was like for me the first time with Jesse".

Cate was just calmly waiting. I wasn't making any sense.

"I don't want to put them through this, because it's just too painful". I tried to continue.

"To put them through what?"

"Through having their family shattered. I can't do that".

Her face was still expressionless. "I'm not following".

I took several deep breaths, trying to put myself together.

"I won't leave Bryan".

I said those four words looking down, knowing that her face would kill me.

I've played all my cards

And that's what you've done too

Nothing more to say

No more ace to play

"Oh..."

I slowly moved my gaze up to meet her face. "I'm sorry, Ca-..."

"No, don't. It's fine, I can understand that". She had a slight smile, that wasn't reaching her eyes, but still had me confused. "Don't worry about anything"

"Why are you..."

"Sandra, it's fine. Seriously. The last thing I want to do is shatter your family, as you said before. I have my own family already shattered, so I don't want anybody else to live that". She kept on that fake smile, or what I wanted to be fake. "Whatever happened between us, it's already in the past".