.....

Derrick

She never talked to me barely. Almost as if she was shut, and couldn't say anything. Only when she was very drunk. Rose and Keith tried to do something like a double date at the carnival. Most of the time, she seemed skiddish to me.

Keith and Rose separated us, so we could get alone time together, so she could feel comfortable with me. But she was really preoccupied. She was looking at both of them, Keith and Rose. I felt like I was vying for her attention this whole time. I was getting frustrated and very impatient.

"Is it weird to be jealous of your best friend?"

"No." I say. "It's not. It's normal."

"I'm jealous of Rose." She says, her eyebrows droop.

"She's very pretty," I don't know what to say, but know at this point I fumbled the bag.

But you are prettier to me, Sarah. The way you smiled in joy when I won a game for you, you picked the Charmander plushie, and hugged it so long and tight. You didn't say thank you. But I knew you loved it. Your blue eyes gleaming with joy, you trying to fight that joy was heartbreaking. It was cute that you acted like you didn't express anything, when in reality you did.

That's where I come in. Or I wish to. Being supportive of you. I knew this bullshit enigma of you. And maybe I can get to you. I just gotta get to know you and see if we are compatible. But oddly enough, I feel like we are.

She clutched her Charmander with a slight tear, almost as if it was a comfort toy.

"Can I ask you something? Should I compare myself to her?"

I pause to think about my answer to better suit her needs. "No."

"Can I ask you as a question as a guy?"

"Yeah,"

"What do you think about relationships? I'm scared with getting close to somebody." I knew she was going to ask another question, but bailed. She felt unwanted. She didn't even let me answer the next question.

"Oooh," She smiles, "What do you like in girls?"

This would be an easier question to answer, as I could indiscreetly compliment her. And I knew what she wanted, the compliment she did.

"I personally, think girls who are chubbier...are beautiful."

Her eyes gleam, and I liked making her feel good, even though she acted like it didn't.

"And I like strong women. Women who tell me what they need. Women who advocate for the lesser."

She starts blushing even more.

"And quirks make me melt. Damn. Neurodivergent girls. I melt."

...

I know. I'm an idiot. Mixed signals central. I was honestly frustrated. I wanted her to be open and honest but I didn't communicate that correctly. And our relationship has jump started.

For no reason, I decided to rush things and expect things quickly. She is giving me the privilege to let her in, despite the shit she's been through. And I know she's going through a lot.

It was Keith, who pulled me aside, far from the Rose after I said the shitty ferris wheel comment, to wake me up. Sarah was in the bathroom, at that point.

"You are being an idiot right now." Keith says. "I know this isn't you. Don't take your anger and upset out on her."

"Did she do anything wrong?"

"No," I said.

"Then what's going on?"

"I was just...upset. She has been closed and the only thing I can get her talking and smiling to me is if I complimented her. I guess I wanted more substance. I didn't know how. And I don't know how without overcomplimenting her."

"Just enjoy her presence. You need to make her know that and it doesn't just take buttering her up. She likes it but it scares her."

"How the hell do you know this?" I ask.

"Rose can tell. Rose knows her. It's why she speaks so highly of her."

I felt the pressure. I felt kicked into gear. I felt pressured to be good for her. For now, I couldn't deal with it.

"I just can't deal with this pressure. I like her. I do. I'm just not good at this." I take a breathe of fresh air.

"Then, just take it slow, and learn about her. Slowly." He said, "She would love that."

"She's told Rose that she's always wanted a guy to be slow and gentle with her. You could be that guy."

Me? I could be that guy? No fucking way...