Meant To Be

Chapter 9

Chapter title- Ye gave me a rare woman!

•Claire's pov•
Jamie sits up when I step out of bed.
"Is it morning?" He asks confused.
I nod and pick a dress and put it on.
He too gets up and grabs clothes.
I dress up Faith and we don't talk. Not a single word.
"Claire are ye okay?" Jamie asks worried.
"Yes, somehow I feel.. empty," she says and I see that tears are about to come in her eyes.
"I ken Sassenach, I feel it too," Jamie puts his hand on my cheek and he kisses my forehead.
We go downstairs and Murtagh looks at Jamie and he nod.
"Come wi' me, we need to check the men," Jamie says and I hand Faith to Murtagh.
We check if all the men are healthy and woundless and rarely enough they all are.
Jamie takes me back to Faith and Murtagh and I feel that he's afraid.
He signs Murtagh to come with us and he walks to the stables.
He puts my forehead to his and closes his eyes.
"Sassenach, I'm sorry," he whispers and I immediately feel my heart sink.
Men are running around us and Jamie takes three horses.
"No... Jamie," I say softly tears in my eyes.
He picks me up and puts me on a horse.
"No! Jamie! Don't!" I yell panicked.
"It's alright Sassenach," he gets on a horse with Faith and Murtagh steps on the last one.
Jamie's horse starts walking and the other two follow.
We ride hard for about 2 hours and then we arrive at Craigh Na Dunn.
"No! Jamie I told you I'm not going back!" I say, tears streaming down my face.
"Claire ye have too, I told ye I wouldn't when unnecessary, but.. I ken yer with child, and we have Faith. I canna let ye alone with 2 bairns,"
"You can't know that! It's far too early," I say shocked.
"No Sassenach, it's been 46 days since yer courses and yer never late," he forms a small smile.
"You kept track?"
"Aye, but I'm begging you Claire, go, live a happy life, with our bairns,"
"How can I go back? How will I explain all this Jamie? Should I say. I got transported back in time, was forced to marry a sexy gingerhaired man and have lots of sex, and give birth to a child and now I'm bearing another one? He'll buy that for sure!" I say sarcastically.
"It's that how ye want to explain all this, go ahead," he says smiling. "But go now, Claire,"
"That's not how I want to explain it! I want to say. He's the love of my life! And I'm not leaving because you are Jamie. You are my love and I can't give you up!"
"Ye have to, for the sake of our bairns and of yerself,"
I shake my head and try to run off.
Jamie puts Faith in Murtagh's arms and tells him to stay there.
He runs behind me and stops me when we reach the woods.
"I'm begging you Claire! Take our children to safety," tears are in his eyes now too.
He grabs my cheek and he kisses me softly.
"If I have to endure 200 years of purgatory, 200 years without ye, than that's my punishment, for I have lied, killed, stolen and betrayed. But if I stand before God I have one thing to weigh against all the rest," he say softly holding his hand on my back.
"Lord ye gave me a rare woman. And god I loved her well," he continues and lowers me to the ground.
He undoes my laces and kisses my breasts.
I let him, he is right, I have to leave, for the safety of my children.
He pulls my dress up and enters me gently.
I grab his cheeks and move with him.
Normally our sex is rough but now its gentle and I try to capture the moment as much as possible.
When he stops he sits next to me I sit up too.
I grab our wedding gift from Hugh and wrap it in some cloth. "Our wedding gift from Hugh Munro, you keep it with you, don't lose it,"
He nods and looks at me with pain in his eyes.
We get up and go back to Murtagh who's saying goodbye to Faith.
"Blood of my blood," I whisper to Jamie.
He looks at me and I see a tear. "And bone of my bone,"
"Till we both shall live," we says together and he kisses me.
After a second he lets go of me and we walk to Faith.
"Faith Mo Cridhe, I love you. Take care of yer mother," he whispers and I hear the pain in his voice.
"Da... I no leaving?" She says smiling.
"Yes ye are, with yer mother. Yer going to be happy with her. Never forget me," Jamie says and a tears escapes his eye.
She nods and he hands her back to Murtagh.
"Claire... I love you,"
Tears are streaming down my face now.
"Then don't make me leave you,"
"I have to. I'm sorry,"
I bury my face in his chest and he holds me close.
"I don't know if Faith will remember me when she's older, If she does, and she wants to know about me, tell her everything, or everything you want to tell. And for our other bairn. Don't tell it,"
"What? Why not?" I ask confused.
"It will be like... chasing a ghost and a memory unable to catch," he cups my head in his hands. "You'll have to let me go,"
I shake my head but he stops me. "Promise me you'll let me go. Ye willna think about me anymore in that way. Ye willna mention me. Let me go," his voice breaks and I know it and so does he.
"I can't let you go like that, I can't just erase you from my life and memorie,"
"I'm sorry Sassenach, but you'll have to..." he whispers.
I hug him tight not wanting to let go, tears streaming down my face ending in Jamie's neck.
"Dinna weep, Mo Graidh. Everything is going to be fine," he grabs my cheek and kisses me softly.
He takes Faith from Murtagh and wants to hand her to me but I refuse.
Instead I walk to Murtagh and I hug him tight.
I can feel his arms around me. "Watch over Jamie for me, I'm begging you,"
I let go of him and he looks at me with pain in his eyes. "Always Claire you ken that well. Take care of yerself and the children,"
I nod and I take Faith from Jamie. "I'm sorry Sweetheart," I give her a small kiss but Faith doesn't realize what's happening so she smiles.
Jamie kisses my head and then Faith's hand. "Mo Chridhe, listen to me alright?" He whispers and she nods.
"I love you, okay? You are my daughter, and I'll always love you! Promised,"
She nods and smiles. "Love Da,"
He smiles bright and nods.
"This is for you Faith," he says putting on the bracelet I found in a drawer once.
She smiles and carefully touches it.
"Claire, my beautiful wife, bear this child. Give this to Faith when she's older, if she doesna remember me say it's from an old friend," he says handing me the pearls from Ellen. "And give this to the other bairn," he says handing me a ring. "It is my fathers,"
I nod. "I love you Jamie,"
"I ken Sassenach... I love you too,"
He starts taking us towards the stone but I stop him. "Wait Jamie, will ye mark me?" I ask softly.
"What?"
I take his knife. "Stick out your arm,"
He does and I draw a 'C' on his wrist, deep enough to leave a scar.
"Do it at mine too, but with a J," I say and I give him the knife.
He nods and I give him my wrist.
"I dinna wish to hurt ye Claire,"
"You won't hurt me,"
He sets the knife in my wrist and makes a deep wound in the form of a 'J'.
Normally it would hurt but nothing could hurt more then the pain I feel inside.
He nods and gives Faith one last kiss on her head.
I can see the tears in his eyes and I feel them in my own too.
He wraps his arm around my waist and the other hand is holding my hand and Faith her hand.
We walk slowly towards the stone and I hold Faith close to me and I lay my head on his shoulder.
"Dinna fash yerselfs. Life will be good, my loves," he whispers as we reach the stone.
I lift my head. "I love you Jamie," I kiss him one last time.
"I love you Claire,"
He takes our hands to the stone and when we almost touch it he kisses us both fiercely on the side of our head.
"Goodbye," he whispers but I don't respond.
We touch the stone, I feel it pulling and everything goes black.