Meant To Be

Chapter 11

Chapter title- Dealing and mourning

•Jamie's pov•
I walk into the kitchen and Mama is cleaning a bit.
"Jamie, are you okay?" She asks seeing me there.
I nod and give her a faint smile. "I was only wondering if you wanted to talk with me about... well Claire and Faith,"
She looks surprised at first, but then smiles. "Yeah ofcourse,"
I grab a bottle of whiskey and two cups and I sit down on the couch.
Mama comes in a little while later with a small bag.
"What's that?" I asked curious.
She hands it to me. "Claire gave it to me,"
I look up and she smiles, I open the bag and see a leather bracelet.
"How did.. why..." I mutter not knowing what to say.
I take it out and carefully look at it. "How did she give it to ye?"
"She made it, from some old leather and a few strands of hair, look hers and Faith,"
I look closely and see a black strand of hair and a copper strand.
"When did she give it to you?" Tears are in my eyes seeing something from them.
"Before ye left for.... Culloden, she wanted me to have it," she says sitting beside me.
I take her arm and put the bracelet around her wrist.
"Bonnie," I smile briefly and she looks worried.
"Well ye wanted to talk, let's talk," she sits back and I do too.
"I miss them.." I start softly. "Sometimes I wonder if time goes at the same speed,"
"What do you mean?"
"They don't exist yet, but what if they life at the same speed. Faith will be two by now and the baby... I will be born soon,"
She smiles and nods. "Aye, what do you think it is? A lad or a lass?"
I smile thinking about a conversation I once had with Claire. "Claire always said that when we'd have another bairn it would be a boy, though I was convinced that we'd have another girl. All I really care about is that they're safe,"
"I ken, yer a strong lad, I don't think anyone would sacrifice their own happiness like that to get their family safe,"
I nod. "Claire.. she was... so bonnie... her hair curled around her face and her eyes shining in the light,"
"Aye, she was verra beautiful,"
"And Faith, she is.... was the most beautiful... little girl I've ever seen,"
"For sure. She looked much like you, her hair just as red as yers. Eyes too, and she was always verra happy, smiling and giggling,"
"Aye, she's a happy lass. I just hope... she's still just as happy,"
"I like to believe she is, it's a comfort to think that,"
I nod. "Aye, I sometimes am afraid that she blames me for leaving me alone, or I'm afraid Claire is angry at me for forcing her,"
"I do think Claire might be angry, but just for a little while, she'll forgive and she knows ye were right to do the that. You'll live forever wi' her, because of yer bairns,"
"Aye, I wouldna have left her if she didn't have the bairns, but she did and as a parent ye would do anything for 'em,"
"And ye did all ye could for 'em, and one day you'll be happy again,"
"I hope so, but I dinna think I'll ever be as happy as I was with them, or ever really happy again without them, knowing they are living, just not yet,"
"I ken Lad, but let's not sit here and talk about that, let's talk some happy memories, ye have one ye want to share?"
I think for a while. "When we were just wed, Claire got caught by the redcoats while I told her to stay put. The men attacked them but I felt useless not being able to help because I was still an outlaw."
I stop for a while. "When they were all dead she yelled my name and when she saw me she came running, when I had her in my arms again I felt a huge wave of relief seeing she's unharmed but upset that she didna listen."
"She's a feisty lass,"
"Aye, I was about to beat her for not obeying my orders when she told me the truth about who she was and when she came from,"
"What did ye do?" She asks curious.
"I brought her to the stones, so she could go back to her own time and rightful husband. But she didna want to. I was leaving so she could go in peace. She came running to me, jumped on my back causing us both to fall," I grin by the memory.
"That sounds like Claire for sure,"
"Aye,"
It's quiet for a second. "Did she use new words? Or did she do things from the future?"
"Aye, all the time. She'd use medical terms all the time or heal people with just one cup of tea,"
"Did it bother you? That you didn't understand her? Or the things she'd say?"
"Nah, I liked it. She would learn me new things every day,"
"Well, ye were a smart lad, but now yer even smarter,"
I nod and pour some whiskey in the cups.
"What was your first impression of Claire?"
"We knew your marriage was arranged but when I saw her I knew that a lass like her wouldn't marry someone she didna want. She smiled sweetly, look nervous to meet us but yet so happy,"
"Aye, nervous she was, when I saw you wi' her cooking I kent everything was going to be alright,"
"You know cooking with her isn't that bad, she always says she canna cook but its not that horrible," 
"Nah it isna, but she wouldna take my word for it. She's verra stubborn, I always liked it. Little competition for my stubbornness,"
She smiles and I know it hurts her too.
"Do you miss them?" I ask her.
"Always, verra much," she smiles faintly.