Yoko, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy. Thing: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.
Divina: To everyone who has treated me poorly; I am sexier than you.
Divina: What did Wednesday do this time?
Yoko, looking at Enid and smiling: More like WHO did Wednesday do this time?
Divina: Hey guys, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing? Wednesday, Ajax, and Yoko: No! Thing: Alright, that's it, you guys. What happened out there? Wednesday: What? We took a walk. Nothing happened. I came back with nothing all over me. Thing: What does that mean? Divina: Come on, what happened? Ajax? Ajax: Alright. Wednesday: No. Ajax, we swore we'd never tell! Yoko: They'll never understand. Ajax: But we have to say something. We have to get it out. It's eating me alive. Ajax: Wednesday got stung by a jellyfish! Wednesday: Alright! I got stung. Stung bad. I couldn't stand. I- I couldn't walk. Yoko: We were two miles from the house. We were scared and alone. We didn't think we could make it. Wednesday: I was in too much pain. Ajax: And I was tired from digging a huge hole. Yoko: And then Ajax remembered something. Ajax: I'd seen this thing in the Discovery Channel. Divina: Wait a minute, I saw that. On the Discovery Channel. Yeah, about jellyfish and how if you— EW! You peed on yourself? Thing and Enid: EW!! Wednesday: You can't say that! You don't know! I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain. Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't... bend that way. So... *looks at Ajax* Divina, Thing, and Enid: Ew! Ajax: That's right. I stepped up. They're my friend and they needed help. If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you. Ajax: Only, uh, I couldn't. I got stage fright. I wanted to help but there was too much pressure. So, I, um, I turned to Yoko. Yoko: Ajax kept screaming at me, "Do it now. Do it. Do it now." Sometimes, late at night I can still hear the screaming. Ajax: That's because sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
A/N: Idek what the last one is tbh i just put it there cuz its weird as shit
Yoko: I like your top, Enid! Wednesday: I have a name, you know.
Thing: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.
Divina, talking to the gang: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.
*At a speed dating event* Wednesday: Oh wow, people are really shallow. Enid: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate? Wednesday: *Checks their pulse* Sorry, not yet.
Enid: Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again.
Yoko: You want to know why people are so afraid of clowns? Well you know what people say about how their feet aren't the only thing that's big? And how people who drive really big cars have small dicks? Well clowns are out there with their big feet and tiny cars...
*at the supermarket* Divina: All right, the last item on the list is "virgin oil." Divina:
Divina: Wow. Imagine being an item and still being called a virgin.
Yoko: We need a diversion. I say Enid gets naked. Wednesday: No. Yoko: I could get naked. The squad: NO!!!
Enid: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.
Ajax: Priest kink is definitely a thing and I am afflicted by it. Thing: Go to church.
Thing: WAIT—
Yoko: Wednesday, what do you call people you go out with but don't try to sleep with? Wednesday: ...People?
Ajax: It's Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?! Wednesday: Merry crisis. Enid: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way. Thing: Hoe hoe hoe.
Ajax: Guys, please.
Enid: Sorry I'm late, I was doing things.
Wednesday: Hi, I'm 'things'.
Enid: Wednesday! I can't do this stupid math! Wednesday: What's the math problem? Enid: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don't multiply.
Thing, covering Divina's ears, while Wednesday smacks Enid upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth. Yoko: ...He's not wrong
Enid: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.
Yoko: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don't make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a bee.
Enid: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way? Yoko: Excuse me Mx. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you? Thing: What the fuck is wrong with you two?
Divina: So anyways have y'all seen Wednesday? Yoko: I think they went in Ajax's room 'studying'. Thing: Doubt that. I heard groans there. *Meanwhile in Ajax's room* Wednesday & Ajax, fighting:
Yoko: I'm the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.
Ajax: *sucking on a popsicle* Yoko: Pfft, you practicing for when Xavier gets here? Ajax: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*
Yoko: *Concern*
Yoko: My mom is calling... hi mom. Enid: Come on guys, stop. They're trying to talk to their mom. Ajax: *loud fake sexual noises* Wednesday: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP! Divina: *is asleep* Bianca: *gets really close to the phone* Tell her I said hi.
Enid: Who do we know that has handcuffs? Yoko: Well Divina and I- Divina: *elbows Yoko* Yoko: ...wouldn't know. Wednesday: This food is too hot... I cant eat it. Enid: You're very hot, and I still eat you. Everyone at the table: *silence* Divina: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! Yoko: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!
