ONLY ON CAMERA | JUDE BELLINGHAM

026.

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
❝SHE REALLY DIDN'T SHOW❞

— JUDE —

YES I'M angry. Of course I'm angry. I'm livid about this fucking situation. But I'm also hurt. Hurt that she would do this to me. After everything. After I was just in her house looking after her two days ago.

The fact that she would betray me like this fucking hurts. I thought we were actually friends. I thought we'd turn a corner. Clearly not.

Micheal knows about what's happened. He said he's going to get to the bottom of it. Find out exactly when it was leaked. And who by. I told him I already know who did it but for some reason he refuses to believe Harmony had anything to do with it. Stupid really. It could only be her. Or Aaliyah.

I have a game today which I'm trying to focus on but all this bullshit is getting to me. News spreads fast and now everyone knows about this supposed close source exposing us. People are starting to question things. Others are defending us saying that our relationship is real. It's all pretty fucked.

I don't want to see her. I know I have to. We're in a contract. But I don't want to see her. She just makes me so angry. The fact that she's acting all upset that I accused her as if she isn't the guilty one out of both of us is fucking insane.

Gio thinks she's telling the truth. Chloe apparently knows she is. Both of them believe it wasn't her or Aaliyah. They told me constantly last night. Tried calming me down so I could see the "bigger picture". I didn't listen to them. They don't know anything.

I'm in the tunnel. We're about to walk out onto the pitch. Trying to get my mind in focus but all I can think about is Harmony and this stupid fucking situation she's put us in. How could she do that to me? Why would she do that to me. It's not like I've been an asshole recently. We've been good. We've been getting on. So why she would do this it just doesn't make sense.

I would of probably stopped to think about the possibility of her telling the truth. That she wasn't the one who leaked it. If the odds of her doing it wasn't so likely.

I let the thoughts wash away as I prep my mind for the game ahead. I need to focus. This isn't about her right now. She is not important. This game is.

We walk out onto the pitch to the many screaming fans cheering us on. I look out to the stands. See if she's there. I'm scanning the area. Looking at the box seat thats booked for her. She's not there. She's not fucking there. She really didn't show up.

I scoff to myself. Not only is she guilty. She's unprofessional. She can't even try and make this better by showing up to prove people wrong. She wouldn't even do that for me. Shows how much she actually respects or values me. This friendship thing was a fucking mistake.

The game goes ahead as planned and I'm in it but I'm not really in it. Mentally I'm out. I can't stop thinking about this whole incident. About her. It just gnaws away at my brain. I'm constantly trying to think of why she'd do this.

Regardless of my lack of mental focus, we win the game 3-2 which I'm happy about but apart of me wishes she was here to see and celebrate. Even though I'm angry at her. Celebrating is better with someone rather than alone.

I leave the pitch as quickly as I walk onto it. I don't even celebrate with my teammates I just go back to the changing rooms to change and leave as soon as possible. I'm ticked off. Annoyed that she didn't show up.