Impulse

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By the time we made it to Jane and Alec , Felix had already hoisted me over his shoulder. The action made me feel like a child getting removed from the toy section. No amount of kicking and slapping did anything, only a harsh reminder that I would end up hurting myself from their marble like skin. I had to settle. I was trapped and there was no way of getting out of it. Felix's constant sway had violently sloshed my stomach giving me a sloppy reminder of the booze pooled in my system.

"Felix. Demetri you're late." Jane voiced

"We ran into some resistance with our queen." Demetri spoke smoothly

"Do you think you can let me go, my stomach hurts," my speech slurred .

Fuck, I really was sloshed.

"She's drunk." Alec spoke meeting my line of sight. Freely showing his judgment about the situation.

"More like plastered." Demetri scoffed before letting out a string of Italian.

" What's wrong with relaxing before my inevitable doom?" I wasn't met with an answer, instead they continued their conversation in Italian. They were definitely treating me like a child only adding another reason to keep my pissy attitude with the Volturi.

"What do you want on the plane?" Demetri suddenly speaks, breaking away my sulking.

He watched me closely patiently waiting for my answer. By now Alec had already moved back to his sister. The more I thought about the question, the more pressure it formed against my skull.

" I think I need to throw up." Squeezing my eyes tightly as the pressure in my stomach increased.

" Figlio di puttana," Felix mutters, placing me on stable ground.

I could feel their judgment even with my eyes closed. I attempt even breathing to settle the pain. Refusing to throw up in front of them. I felt my stomach squeeze, increasing the pressure. The euphoric high I once felt was quickly replaced with inner criticism only a vampire could bring out within me as I stood hunched over.

"Demetri, grab her whatever it is to get her moving. I'd like to go home." Jane tersely spoke.

Home. Jane's words left a sour taste in my mouth. That place was the very opposite of home to me. I didn't dare let that slip however, I was already emotionally wrecked as it was. "I can walk just no more carrying me like -like a sack of potatoes."

There was a pause amongst the guard, perhaps in disbelief I was actually capable of walking on my own. " Unless you want to vomit on your clothes."

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Getting to the airport was excruciating. Smushed against vampires in a cab with none of them speaking made me wallow more in my self pity. It forced me to think of everything and everyone I left behind when I ran. I was at a standstill in confronting the actions I've done. I wanted to be free , from my friends, and the little family I had left. I could feel the wet droplets dripping from my eyes as I kept my hands over my face. I am selfish of my own desires. I put people in harms ways, have them killed to lengthen my purgatory. It was easier to ignore this fact when Caleb words would soothe my guilt, giving me something to blame it on and reward me with a distraction. Yet now I had nothing but my mind to reel dark truths.

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