Cut & Abandoned (Lesbian Story)

16

At some point Tara had said screw the smoothies and stared drinking the last of the wines we got out straight up. She's now dancing to music unheard by anyone else with the wine bottle in hand. Ray and Hudson are on the couch making out.

Tara danced her way over to me. "You don't seem as happy." Her words were slurred.

"I'm not as drunk as you." I said. She giggled and held the wine bottle close to my face.

"Drink."  She laughed.

I laughed at how she was acting. "I'm fine Tara."

"I'll just have to make you." She put the wine bottle to her lips and let some wine in. She didn't swallow though.

"Tara what are you-"

She grabbed my face and pushed her lips against mine. I was taken by surprise and she took advantage of my open mouth by letting the wine move into it. I swallowed it and Tara moved away to sip some more wine and pull me over again. This kept up until the bottle was empty. That didn't mean we stopped kissing though.

I heard Hudson moan from across the room and I pulled away from Tara. "Get a room if your gonna do that." Now my words sounded slurred too. Ray got up with Hudson's legs wrapped around his waist and they left to their room.

"I'm glad they're gone now." Tara giggled.

I turned back to her and kissed her. She had each of her hands on other sides of my waist. She kissed hard against my lips and started leaning onto me. I started lowering down on the couch.

"You're beyond sexy, you know that?" She whispered seductively into my ear.

I looked at her and there was so much lust in her eyes. I had my lips against hers in a split second. She had her hands on my breasts (overtop the shirt) and I moaned. She took this as another opportunity to slip her tongue into my mouth.

She ran her hands down my shirt and was about to lift it off. This made the drunken, lustful thoughts go away. I pushed her hands away and got out from under her.

"Alex" She groaned and came back over to me.

"Tara stop!" I said and hit her hands away.

She looked at me and she seemed to get some of her normal self back. "I'm sorry Alex what did I do wrong?"

I looked at her sad eyes and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Nothing I just... I'm going to bed." 

~~~

When I woke up in the morning I carefully got out of bed so I didn't disturb Tara. I felt awful from the alcohol. I grabbed some new clothes and dragged myself to the bathroom in our room and turned on the shower.

After I was clean and dressed I made my way to the kitchen. Ray and Hudson were in there and looked better than I did but still not that great.

"Morning Alex." Ray said followed by a yawn. I groaned in response and sat down at one of the stools by the counter. Hudson was making coffee I presume and Ray had let his head rest on the counter.

"I thought you drank the least." Hudson said.

"You wouldn't know though since you and Ray left for smexy times." I teased. He blushed  deep red and Ray glared at me with his head still on the counter. "Oh so you guys did-"

"Shut up Alex." Ray said.

I laughed and then held onto my head. "Ugh you got something for a headache?" Hudson tossed me a bottle of Tylenol. I swallowed the pills dry and let my head fall to the counter as well. Tara came into the room and at down a stool away from me.

Ray looked questioningly at me with an eyebrow raised. "Why isn't the lovely couple sitting together? Things too awkward from you guys' night together?" Silence. "Whoa what did Tara not play nice or-"

"Shut up Ray." I said.

"Oh so she didn't what did she-"

"We didn't do anything." Tara said.

"Oh so your upset because you didn't?" Silence. "Tara reject you Alex or-"

"Other way around." Tara said. She then got up and headed back to our room.

"I thought you liked Tara. Why'd you reject her?" Ray asked.

"Shut up Ray." I said an then walked off to the deck. I sat down and closed my eyes just feeling the warmth of the morning sun.

"It was because you didn't want her to see the scars." Hudson said after he shut the glass door.

"Yeah." I agreed even though he already knew the answer to his not-quite-a-question.

"Use that."

"What?" I opened my eyes and stared over at him.

"Use that as your motivation. Use wanting to be able to touch her as what's going to keep you from cutting."

I closed my eyes again and sighed. I opened them again and stood up. "I'm going for a walk."

"I'll go with-"

"No." I glanced back at him. "I need to go alone."

I went back in to grab what I needed from my bag and then I walked out the front door. After I was far enough away from the house I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.

"Use that." He says. "Use wanting to be able to touch her as what's going to keep you from cutting."

But what if she leaves me before then? What if I can't help but cut because she leaves me? I don't want to be alone again. But  can't not let her touch me if she'll leave me. I need to stop worrying.

Just take another drag of your cancer stick and leave the world behind