The Unexpected

Seul-gi: 17

"What's with you and Sulli?" I must've surprised him by my sudden outburst.

"What do you mean?" I heard him say, but I know he doesn't wanna talk about it.

"I mean... You know her too well..."

"She's... someone I know."

"Sehun... Be honest." I asked him, and he parked the car for a while.

"What do you want me to say?" His voice went a little high.

"I just want to know what's going on!" I couldn't control myself. He looked away, but I had to know. "Is she your ex?"

I just noticed him slam the honk. "Damn it, Seul-gi!"

"Is it true?"

"Yes! Is that what you want to hear from me!?" He yelled again.

"Why are you so fucking upset!?" I looked at him, and he did not speak. "Oh my gosh. You're still in love with her."

"No I'm not."

"You are!" I can't believe this!

I held my tears in. We're not even in that stage yet, and here we are, arguing about his ex! He went out of his car and lit a cigarette. I knew he'd do this. I just wiped my tears away and I looked at him.

I followed him outside and faced him. I stood in front of him and cupped his face. I need to know the truth. I don't care if it hurts me. I at least deserve to know the truth, right?

"Sehun... Be honest with me. Please." I said, but I can't control my tears anymore. "Do you still love her?"

He hesitated for a while. I get it. He still does. "Not that way anymore."

"But you still do." I said, confirming his answer.

"Why does it matter?" He asked, throwing the cigarette away.

"Because I don't want to be a rebound." I frankly told him.

*

The whole drive was quiet. Just because we fought over something doesn't mean I should take away the fun. He can have fun with his friends. I don't really care. I felt Ms. Song grab me by my wrist, and she grabbed Sulli's, as well. We went inside the club, and she ordered us drinks.

The margaritas weren't enough, so she ordered beer. I kept thinking about Sehun. He's still in love with her. But what if he knew about their relationship? Mr. Choi and Sulli, I mean. Is he even ignorant? How can he not notice? Even I would think they're in a relationship!

I don't remember much, but I know Sulli and I had an argument. I can't think straight right now. I'm just scared. Does she still love Sehun? I hope not. I want him. I want him for myself. It may sound selfish, but I just want him and only him!

I felt Sehun trying to pry me out of the club, but I stayed still. I don't exactly know why, but I want to hear her thoughts. I want to know if she really left Sehun for Mr. Choi. I want to know if she's still in love with him. 

"So what if I'm in a relationship with Minho? Does that make you a better person!?" She exclaimed, and for some reason, I felt my heart sink and relieved all at the same time. She went closer to me and gripped my arms. "You know what... You're really selfish. Don't worry. I have no plans in stealing your boyfriend or whatever!" I heard her say before Sehun dragged me out of the club.

I'm not drunk anymore! I saw him kick his car and light a cigarette. I can't believe this! What have I done!? I looked at him and he was angrily massaging his temples. I stayed still, not knowing what to do. I just wish I never did what I did inside. And I'm sorry, Sehun.

"Y'know what? We had a bad idea. I'll just take you home." He said, sounding frustrated.

I just went inside his car obidiently. He was so silent, and so was I. I felt like crying. Everything I did. I created this mess! I faced the other way, fearing that my tears would really fall. I don't want him to see me crying. He might think of me as an idiot for crying over an issue I made.

I was surprised when he suddenly stopped. I looked at where we are, and we're not yet in front of the building where my unit is. I looked at him questioningly. He held my hand and caressed it in his face. Now, I couldn't hold my tears anymore.

"Hey... Shhh..." He said and hugged me. "I'm sorry. It was my fault."

"No, I'm sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn't have done that." I sobbed in his arms.

"You were drunk." He said calmly and played with my hair. "Clubbing was a bad idea. I'm really sorry." He let go of me and made me look at him. "I'm sorry, okay?" And he kissed my lips.

Is it wrong for me to say the kiss was magical? It seemed like he kissed all my fears, my pain, my doubts away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. I felt his hand around my waist and looked at me full of worries. I feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for Mr. Choi, and I feel sorry for Sulli. I was jealous. I'm such an idiot.

"Listen to me... Even if you deny it, even if you don't want me, I'm all yours." He said and kissed my hand. "Every inch of me is yours. From my hair down to my toes. Don't feel insecure, okay?"

"I'm sorry, Sehun..." I said and he quickly held my hand tighter.

"I am all yours. And I'm only waiting for you to be mine." He said and his eyes were now filled with sorrow. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like you're not the only one. But believe me, you're my only one."

"I believe you, Sehun." I said and kissed him.

*

We arrived in my unit and he asked me if he could sleep over. Since I don't want him to drive, I said yes. I quickly prepared the bed when I felt him hug me from behind. I looked at him, and he closed his eyes, like he was comfortably sleeping. I smiled, then put him in my bed.

I saw a text from Irene earlier, she told me she found a relative she could stay with. And she left the keys under the mat. I went and checked for the keys. I quickly grabbed it and closed the door. I went to the kitchen to drink some water.

I went back to my room and sat beside the sleeping Sehun. I caressed his hair. Is he truly mine? I mean... I want him to be mine. Should I give myself to him? Should I say yes? I kissed his lips, and I lied beside him. I faced him, and I hugged his shirtless body. I wish for this moment to never end.