The Unexpected

Seul-gi: 26

Seul-giI stared at the wall for almost an hour now. I am wide awake, but I don't want anyone to know. I remember everything. I remember Mr. Choi, I remember Sulli. Out of all the things I could forget, it was them. And I'm not even sure why.Sehun... Did I just give up on him? Was that what I truly wanted? But... wasn't that based on impulse? Did I just let him go because I felt pity for Yuri? 

I can't take back my words, but why do I miss him?Someone entered my room, and I looked to see if it was Sehun. I sighed, it's Kris. I'm not disappointed, but I was expecting to see Sehun. I laughed mentally. Since when did I become obsessed with him? Since when couldn't I remove Sehun from my system? How do I remove him, though?I saw him press the button near my bed, calling the doctor. He even called his sister to tell her I'm awake. But I don't want to be awake yet. Can I just sleep? Until all the pain I am feeling is gone? 

*

They ran several tests on me. Everything about me is normal. And the neurologist told me my brain activity is back to normal. I just have to be careful and not neglect headaches. I nodded in agreement and thanked him. Then I was sent back to my room. 

They said I could be discharged tomorrow morning. I told both Kris and Seohyun that I'm fine alone. It took me a while to convince them, but they left anyway. Because Seohyun is needed in the business, and Kris said he needed to do something important, though I'm not really sure what it was.I didn't want them to feel burdened. I don't want them to feel that they have to take care of me. And besides, I wanted to be alone because I wanted to think about what happened. I want it to be a dream. I don't want us to end. 

*

I am now discharged, and my bills were already taken care of. Kris bought some food before dropped me off my unit. I just took my bag from his car and thanked him. I smiled at him, though I'm not really sure if I looked happy or if I looked like an idiot. 

"Seul-gi... If you're not okay, you can-"

"I'm okay." It sounded like I'm trying to convince myself. But I didn't mind. "I'm fine, Kris. Bye." 

I went inside my unit, then saw something on the table. I went closer to pick it up. I saw a silver ring used as a weight for the letter. It's from Sehun. 

"Seul-gi, 

I'm staying away. This is what you wanted, right? I'll give it to you. But when we see each other, don't expect me to completely ignore you. I might even beg you to take me back. I'm still hoping you'd change your mind and not give up on us. I'm in love with you, Seul-gi. Out of all the lies I have told you, all the mistakes, this is the truth. This is real. Loving you was the only right thing I did. I hope you'll wait for me while I try to mold myself as a better person. So I could deserve you. 

-Sehun" 

*

That was it. Everything about us just ended. I hid my necklace as I went to school. I put on my earphones and listened to loud music to distract myself, because if I didn't, I'd keep thinking about him. I might end up making a fool of myself by crying in public. I let him go, and I'm gonna stick by my decision.I went to my first class, and as expected, most of us were lethargic. Only the very competitive ones are showing their enthusiasm towards the class. We were given assignments, then left when the class ended. 

The same routine happened, and again, I was one with the crowd. But right now, I feel like I'm extra tired. When everything ended, I quickly went to the parking lot. On my way there, I bumped into someone. I looked up to see Edison. I saw him smile at me, and I smiled back. Then quickly walked towards my car. It's not like I'm avoiding him or anything, it's just... I couldn't really consider us friends, and I don't have anything to say to him.I drove myself home. 

Then I quickly went to my unit. I took a deep breath and went inside. I quickly slumped myself on my bed. I looked at the time, it's 6 pm. I called for delivery since I feel extra lazy today. When the delivery arrived, I quickly paid for it and ate.After an hour, I showered, then changed into a white chiffon blouse, black pencil-cut skirt and ankle boots. I brought with me my black mini bag. I went to the parking lot and and rode my car. 

I drove towards the nearest club. When I was granted entrance, I quickly went to the bar counter and ordered for margarita.I slowly sipped my drink and watched everyone who was dancing. So it's been a year. Exactly this day since he left. Who am I to complain, though? I gave him that choice. 

I spotted Irene and Mark. I smiled at them and gave Irene a hug. 

"Let's drink!" I yelled, and she agreed. 

I saw Mark shake his head."Ladies, easy. There's only one me. I can't take you both two places at the same time." I glared at him. "I mean, when you get drunk, I can't take you two home all at the same time!" 

I laughed. "Yeah, you always say that." I said that, and the bartender placed the bottle of tequilla, a small plate of salt and lemons. 

After a few more shots, Irene and I went to the dance floor. We even dragged Mark with us, and he just danced with us. We were dancing like idiots, and I would catch Mark laughing at us. And in his eyes, I could see hope.I'm not stupid, I know he likes me, but I always told him I'm waiting for someone, and he would just nod. 

I excused myself to smoke so I could stop feeling nauseated. When I lit my cigarette, I looked up the sky. It's been a year since I lived like this. School, home, club. Then the same routine went on, until it became a habit. I went to the nearest store to buy water when I felt someone bump into me. I tried my best to give that person an intimidating look, but I was surprised to see who it was. 

It's Yuri. A very, very skinny Yuri. What happened to her? 

-

Next update is probably later. Thanks :)