𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐠 𝐌𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐰𝐧 (𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏)

50

Song: My happy ending - Avril Lavigne

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A part of me refused to believe something that awful could have left his mouth. That he'd done something that despicable. That part didn't give me a break, bombarding my brain with memories of every sweet word and direct attack to my shielded heart... but the other part of me couldn't help but want to smack my hopeless romantic self.

He was the player. He played girls like this for breakfast. He'd done it before and I don't know what possessed me to think it would be different with me... Well, actually I do know. He told me he loved me, so many times I ended up believing him.

But what was the goddamn point in that? If what he wanted was sex, I was willing to ever since that night at the club when he took care of me. He could have had it back then and it wouldn't had been half as painful as it was right now. I mean, yeah, I would probably have been disappointed, embarrassed, maybe? But after some days I would have gotten over it eventually. I wanted to pull my hair 'till it rip from the root and see if that allow me the wash of reality I so badly needed.

Now the jerk had dug a hole in my chest that only seemed to hurt more as minutes pass and I realized what I lost. But at the same time, it wasn't even lost 'cause it simply wasn't ever there. He played me so well... he gave the whole 'get into my panties' a whole new meaning. And now I was just another fool that fell for his tricks.

I should have slapped him. I should have yelled at him or laughed and said something that turned the situation my way, but no. I just stood there. In shock. Silent tears streaming down my face as he left in a car I hadn't even realized was there. Drake helped me out. He soothed me and call a cab, paying a hundred bucks in advance from the business card the Walker's had given him.

My place was empty by the time I arrived and the tears started all over when I reached my room and landed motionless in my bed, staring at the ceiling while tears wetted the pillow as if it could make it all go away. I fell in a weird kind of trance, watching the shadows in the room changing and the faint noises from the street; but all I could do is lay there, still, watching over and over that mocking gaze when he crushed my heart like some worthless paper and threw it away. It hurt to think, to cry... damn, it even hurt to breathe.

I lost the sense of time passing and couldn't point out what time was it when my phone rang, but as I snapped out that realized the sky was deep dark outside. My stiff muscles whined when, after what felt like hours, I finally stretched them to pick up the phone and stiffly dragged it closer. I felt so weak that such a simple task felt too much. My eyes blurred once more and the harm in my chest became unbearable when I took in his name as it flashed across the screen. How did he dare to call me after having broken up like that?

That spread your legs, didn't it?

A wounded whined escaped my lips as I recall every time he'd said those three words that made my heart flutter. How could I had believe him? Of course he wouldn't mean any of that. I also recall the first feeling of unease when he acted like that for the first time. I remember thinking about how unHayden it all had been... and now it all made sense. It felt that way because it was an unHayden way for him to act. And I'd felt like a fool. He had warned me from the very start. He said I wasn't worth more than a couple of fucks. Damn it! He'd come, get what he wanted and leave without another remorse. How could I had been so blind?!

The phone's vibration shook the duvet as he called me again.

What is he doing?

Couldn't he stop this torture? He'd already got what he wanted. Whether it was because he felt horny and wanted a quick fix, he felt bad and wanted to apologize for his behaviour, or just want to rub salt in the wound; I was not feeling like confronting him so soon.