Umakoti Ngo Wethu

10

We were free. I couldn't believe it. It felt way too easy. My sister made her way to the village with our dad, but I stayed behind for a few more days.

"So, are you pregnant yet?" She was way too excited. "Ma, you know these things take some time. We just need to wait and see." She sighed. "I know, but I'm just excited. I've been planting the seed that he should marry without MaShezi's permission, but you know how he is. He doesn't like conflict. The baby will give him no choice. Trust me." I felt weird about the situation all of a sudden.

"Ma, I don't want us to force him to marry me."
"We're not forcing him to marry you. He definitely wants to marry you. We're forcing him to marry you without his wife's permission. She's the only thing keeping him from marrying you. You know this."
"Okay, I understand, Ma."

I stayed the whole week getting helping her get her house ready for buyers. Jabu came to visit me daily, but he obviously couldn't stay. He always brought up marriage and wanted to marry me. That put me at ease about "trapping" him with another baby.

It was weird driving the long way to the village by myself, but I kind of enjoyed it. I kept my family updated, and Jabu kept me company the whole ride. Looking at him, I knew this was the best thing that could happen to us.

"Here she is, Ma! Litha!" My sister squealed and came waddling to me. "Slow down. We don't want you to fall." I hugged her tightly, and the others came outside. We went to the house and I was just in time for dinner. "Your room is a mess. I didn't know what to do with your things, so I left everything in the boxes for you to decide, but I'll definitely help you organize." I thanked her. After dinner, I was called to a meeting with my father. I had no idea what it was about, and it scared me.

I sat down in front of MaKhumalo and Baba, waiting for them to talk. "So I called this meeting to discuss your plans for the future." I sighed. I didn't have plans for the damn future. I was fighting to survive every single day of my life. Where was I supposed to get time to plan the future?

"Don't worry. MaKhumalo and I both think you should rest. This year is almost over. We suggest you take next year off. Relax, spend time with family, spend time with your son, and get to know the area you live in. While doing that, you can decide what it is you want to do." I was relieved.

"So, tell me about this man you're seeing?" My eyes quickly snapped towards him. "MaKhumalo says that it's not her place to tell me. I should ask you myself. So here I am. Asking you. Who is he, and do we know him?" MaKhumalo gave me a knowing gaze.

"Yes, Baba, you know him. He's from here." I didn't know how to say it. "Okay. Does he know you have a son? Which family is he from?" I didn't know what to say. "Does he have a name? How long have the two of you known each other? Litha, you at least have to answer some of these questions."

"We've been together for a while, and it's serious." He seemed surprised. "That great. How serious. Lobola and marriage serious?" He wouldn't stop, would he. "Maybe."
"Maybe? If it's a maybe, then it's not serious. What's the hold up?" I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Um, he wants to get married, but..."
"But what?" I just had to spit it out. "He's first wife doesn't want to agree to the marriage."

There was silence in the room. Even ma was shocked. "What do you mean first, wife? Who do we know who's a polygamist? You said he's from here?" I nodded. "Yebo, baba. The man I'm seeing is Jabu's father." A wave of shock came over his face. "Litha, you're still seeing that man? I told you he was too old for you. MaKhumalo, you knew, didn't you?"
"Baba, I found out with her birthday. I didn't know how to tell you. Please forgive me, my love." He sighed.

"Litha, what is it that you want with that man? I provide for you and my grandson. I make sure I do. You don't need that man for anything!" His anger frightened me. "Baba, calm down. You're scaring her." MaKhumalo said softly. "Litha, please explain it to me because I don't see how you can be with the man if it's not for financial gain. I make sure you have everything you need and want, don't I?" I nodded. "So what is it?"
"I'm in love with him, Baba, and he's in love with me." He sighed heavily and sat back in his seat.

"He wants to marry you?" He spoke calmly, but I could still hear the anger in his voice. "Yebo, baba." He seemed furious, but he was holding it all inside. That's scared me. "And you're willing to be his second wife? You're ready to deal with a woman who hates you and your child for the rest of your life?"
"Baba." MaKhumalo tried protesting.

"No, don't stop me. When the Dlomo's came to pay damages when that man got litha pregnant, what happened?" That was an interesting day. In my culture, when a woman becomes pregnant before marriage, it is frowned upon. The man who got her pregnant is required to pay a fine, and that's what they call "damages."

"That woman stormed in here and grabbed the money off the table, demanding Litha get an abortion." I shivered, remembering the day. "To this day, she has delayed Jabu's imbeleko ceremony. What if something happens to the boy. His ancestors won't know him. He won't get any help." In our culture, we do thanksgiving ceremony when a child is born. It's obviously to give thanks and to introduce the child to their ancestors and their spirit guides. To this day, MaShezi has been delaying it.

"Baba, please. This is not the time for this interrogation. Litha just got here. She's been through too much for us to be ripping her apart like this. You need to calm down, and litha needs to settle in. So can we please continue that discussion at a later stage?" He sighed but agreed.

I was absolutely terrified for what was to come.
What would happen when I become pregnant?
My father would kill me.