Umakoti Ngo Wethu

49

"Baba, what's this about a white wedding. We never spoke about a white wedding."
"I know, but I really want one. I want to see you walking down the aisle in a white dress. I want to exchange rings and vows properly."
"And it needs to happen in four months?" He nodded. "Between the two of us and your mother's planning skills and connections, we can definitely pull it off."

I accepted it. I wasn't too happy about it. Everytime we do something like that there's drama and I was just so tired. We went to meet with the family to let them know. Gogo and Ma were not happy at all. "So after this woman acts the way she does you're still going to spoil her and bring her sister into this marriage? What if she tries to kill MaGumede too?" Why did Ma have to be so dramatic. I heard a laugh and it was my sister Lisa.

"You're not even married that long and your husband is already so bored of you that he needs to take a third wife?" She asked loudly and let out aan ugly laugh. "Shut up!" Her husband yelled. She looked shocked and offended. I could tell she wanted to say something but the words weren't coming out. The fact that I had ties to Lisa irritated me so much. I cant wait for her to realize all her hard work here on the homestead is in vain and leaves us the hell alone. Out of all the men in the world her husband had to be related to mine. I couldn't stand her.

"You laugh but if  you don't bare an heir in the near future your husband will also be taking another wife." Gogo said. "Hell no! Over my dead body!"
"Then so shall it be. If you're planning on dropping dead do it soon. We are in the process of expanding our family lineage. If you want to stand in the way of that, there's the door my dear." That shut her up really quickly.

That very same day we decided on possible dates for the traditional ceremony and the white wedding. MaShezi let us know that her parents wanted to meet with Baba and I before anything official happened.  We traveled to her village. My sisters came with us to look after the babies. I didn't tell them exactly why we were there. I just told them I was officially meeting MaShezi's parents and that was it. When we got close to her village we checked in at the B&B before going to the meeting. I was in my full Makoti kit. Pinafore, doek, and scarf around my shoulders. I wore sneakers and some light makeup.

"Baby, I promise I won't let anything happen to you in there okay." I nodded. I trusted him because I knew he would protect me no matter what. Their house was surprising small. The livinging room was too small to even fit the couches and a table. We met their parents and they seemed nice. There was only seating for four people and I knew I was being tested as MaShezi's mother oppologized for it and told MaShezi to give me the couch seat next to Baba. "No Ma it's okay. I prefer siting on the mat anyway." She looked shocked but I could see her giving MaShezi a nod of approval.

They spent a few minutes catching up. "Son, why has it taken you so long to bring MaGumede here. You know marriage fuses families together. Even polygamous marriages. MaGumede is our daughter now as much as MaShezi is the Gumedes daughter." Her father said. "Baba you and I both know that it hasn't been an easy road." Jabulani said and Bab'Shezi agreed. "Listen, I know but I think from now on we have to make a concerted effort to bring the family together. On that topic I would like to know what MaGumede thinks of adding another Shezi bride to your marriage. MaGumede?"

I cleared my throat. "When Baba and I got married I promised MaMkhulu that I won't let her house die out. I promised that once everything was settled I would accept another Shezi bride with open arms and that is what I'm doing." Her parents smiled. "Baba, on that point. I have to add that both of my wives have been trying very hard to convince me of this. I've made a decision and I'm here but after what happened the last time I'm still very weary. I'm here and I will marry your daughter but she's really going to have to prove herself to me and my family. I sense you are worried about MaGumede but you should be worried about me. I am not saying this out of disrespect but make sure your daughter is ready for a polygamous marriage. A traditional polygamous marriage."

The parents nodded again. "My son we understand your concerns. We really do. MaGumede, thank you. My daughter told me you were the one who convinced your husband after everything that happened to you. I just want you to know that as the Shezi family we are really sorry. We did not know our daughter had such a big problem. I think this time you and your husband do not need to worry. We have chosen a good wife. She's well-mannered, hard-working, respectful, and she is a virgin." A virgin? What does that have to do with anything.

MaShezi went to go fetch the girl and she came in with a blanket covering her. They moved the table slightly for her to take a seat. She was I trounced to us only as MaShezi. When she lifted the blanket off her face I saw a very young girl. Younger than the sister I met before and she was supposed to be older. This was probably why the ancestors warned baba to make sure he married the proper sister.

"Is this your daughter?" He asked Bab'Shezi. "Yes this is my daughter." I could tell Baba didn't believe it. "As you all know the Dlomo's are in dire need of children to continue our family legacy. My ancestors have advised me to marry a very specific Dlomo sister. Remember that's why your youngest daughter went off the rails. Bab'Shezi I'm going to ask you again, is this your daughter?" He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yes." Baba sat back in his seat. "MaShezi, speak to your father. This is your last chance to do this right. If you do not bring out the proper MaShezi I will leave you here at your father's house and I'll ask for my lonola to be returned. Stop trying to decieve me."

The father and MaShezi looked guilty but the mother just looked confused. "What is going on? You said you wanted a Shezi bride and here she is." The fathers head bowed. "I've been instructed by my ancestors to marry your second born daughter. Is this your second born daughter?" She looked at her husband. "Son, this is my brother's child. She's just as much a Shezi as your wife." Baba sighed. "After everything I've done for you. Nobody in this house works. Every month I send you money. When you asked me to help extend the house I paid for it no questions asked. When you asked me to buy you a car I paid for it no questions asked. I've paid your bills for as long as I've been working. Sometimes my family would go without so you're taken care of and I'm asking this one thing from you. One thing and you can't do it."

"Wait," the mother interrupted. "You don't understand. We're not trying to trick you. We're trying to save you from the shame. Bulelwa is my second daughter. She was a very good girl. Still is. She cleans and tends to our fields and animals but she lost her way a little bit. She... she..."
"Spit it out, Ma."
"She fell pregnant a few years back and the boy abandoned her. We didn't want to put that burden on you. She already can't go out in public without being shamed for her actions. I don't want this shame to fall on your family that's why we brought your wife's cousin. In our culture they are siblings right?" Baba just shook his head. "We are not living in the same time as you. Her having a child does not mean there will be shame cast on me. My ancestors gave me strict and clear instructions."
"We understand but..."
"Bab'Shezi."
"Son, before you decide on anything first call your family." Baba agreed and we took a break from our meeting.

I help MaShezi in the kitchen. They made tripe and pap so we dished for everyone. Baba was still on his phone but tod us we could eat without him. "MaGumede what do you think about all this? If Baba comes back and the elders say he must marry Bulelwa will you be okay with her bringing in a child that is not Baba's."
"MaShezi, why is that even a question? Yes, I'll be okay with it. I'm sure Baba will be too. He's a good man."
"I know but what if the family doesn't accept my sisters daughter. What if they treat her badly?" She came close to me. "My parents try their best to hide her. They even act like she doesn't exist and I can tell it hurts that little girl. You know how Ma and Gogo can be." She whispered. "MaShezi with all our issues you protected my children without me even having to ask. If ma and Gogo try anything it will be up to the both of us to protect her. Let's promise eachother that no matter what issues we may encounter we will always protect the children okay?" She nodded. "Okay." We finished eating and Baba came back.

"My family and I both agree to accept the child as our own." The father looked confused and the mother started crying. "Why?" The father asked. "It's the right thing to do. Now could I please meet Bulelwa?" MaShezi excused herself. When she came back a woman followed behind her. I could tell she was working in the fields. Her clothes were torn up and she didn't even have shoes on. She had a child on her back and I could see the sweat dripping down her face and the dirt on her hands. She was out of breath and she was trying to keep it together.

"Here she is. She's not exactly the prettiest but your family is insisting." What? How could a father say that about his child? "Bulelwa, this is Jabulani Dlomo. He's your sisters husband. He's looking for a third wife and he has picked you." Her eyes shot around the room taking all of us in. Before we knew it, she sprinted out the house as fast as she could.