Umakoti Ngo Wethu

22

My father had us set up chairs and mats in the backyard so we could all sit down and talk. "We are here to rectify what happened at the ceremony the other day. MaShezi would like the opportunity to speak." My father agreed. "I would like to appologize to MaGumede for hitting her and calling her names. I didn't mean to. My emotions got the better of me." Wow. What did they have to do to get her to say that?

"We know a fine has not yet been requested, but we think it's only right that we bring a goat, represented in monetary value, to cleanse the Gumede home." He put down a stack of money in the middle of the two families. "We appreciate that you were proactive about this. The Gumede's accept the apology. There's only one thing I'm worried about, and it's this woman who thinks she can do anything to my daughter and get away with it."

"Bab'Gumede, you can be assured that this will never happen again."
"It better not because if my daughter tells me that you've even looked at her the wrong way, I'll deal with you. You're too old to be acting the way you do." One of Jabulani's cousins couldn't hold her laugh. She had to clasp her hand over her mouth so it didn't escape any further.

"I have one more request, and then there will be peace between our families."
"Anything."
"I want this woman to say she accepts my daughter as her husband's second wife in front of us all, so there are witnesses." The uncles nodded their heads. "That won't be a problem. She has discussed it with her husband, and she agrees. MaShezi?" She cleared her throat awkwardly. "I accept MaGumede as my sister wife." She looked like she tasted something disgusting, but she said it, and that's all that matters.

Thembi and I went to make tea and refreshments for our guests before they left. She was in the kitchen making fun of MaShezi. "She looked like she tasted something sour." She made the face, and we both laughed. "The two of you are going to get in trouble. You're making noise." Nthombifuti came in with Mbali. "Did we wake her?" She shook her head. "No, she's just trying to get me to lose weight. She won't let me sit." I laughed under my breath. "Don't worry. Let me just serve my in-laws, and then I'll come help you."

They sat and ate outside. I helped my sister so she could rest. Our guests finally left. Both families were laughing and talking as if they were old friends.

Getting married in the Zulu culture is very complicated. There are many different ceremonies that need to be done. It really was a long process. Sometimes, it took a couple of years to complete all the marriage rites. But what was widely considered the most important was the Lobola negotiations.

Lobola was a dowry or bride price that the groom paid to the brides family for her hand in marriage. Even though there were still many other customs and ceremonies that needed to take place, once Jabulani paid lobola, I was his wife. I was really excited.

"MaGumede." My father came into the tv room. I was watching a reality show with Jabu. One thing I absolutely lucked out on was that Jabu hated cartoons. He wanted to see real people. He watched a lot of kids' educational shows, but he absolutely didn't mind me watching my shows.

"Yebo Baba?" He looked like his angry self again. "I'm not trying to start anything here, but where are you going to live?" What? "Is Jabulani taking you back to the city. Look, you just got here. I understand that once you're married, you're part of your family, and you have to obey your husband, but you just got here. We haven't really had the time to get to know each other." MaKhumalo was watching tv with me, and she looked as confused as I was.

"Baba, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be staying close to home." His expression softened up. "Okay. Good. I was just thinking." He said awkwardly and walked away. "What was that?"
"You drive your father crazy but it's a good thing. He loves you a lot and without you knowing you've got him wrapped around his finger."