Umakoti Ngo Wethu

38

We had to go through every single gift. It felt like an impossible task, but my sisters helped. We sorted washed and sanitized everything before putting it away. As we went, I handwrote thank you letters.

MaMchunu's wedding was the next big event in the family. I was too pregnant to deal with it. Baba and I went for a couple of hours but then I had to come back home. I had a really painful contraction, and he thought I was in labor. I wasn't. 

For the next couple of weeks, we just sat around waiting for me to go into labor. I was one week over my due date and just annoyed at life. We started going on walks and doing exercises that would help me go into labor. Our midwife even stayed in our home. Thembi was a godsend. She kept my home how I liked it and kept jabu distracted.

I was woken up one night by a really terrible contraction. As soon as I was up doing the breathing exercise, Baba was by my side. "Do you think it's time." He asked as the contraction died down. "I don't know." Another one hit instantly, and he grabbed his phone to time it. After the fourth one, we assumed I was in labor. "Let me go get Sphe." Sphe was our midwife. I just nodded and took a seat on the bed. She came immediately and checked me out. I was in the very early stages of labor.

I stayed in bed breathing through the contractions with the help of Baba. I didn't want to waste energy yet. I was three hours in when the sun came up, and Jabu and Thembi got up. "Oh my God. Is it happening?" She asked, shocked. I was sitting on my gym ball with Baba, holding my hands. "It's happening." Sphe told her. "Morning, Mama." My boy was so cute. "Morning baby." He came to hug me, and I held him tightly. He didn't seem to want to leave my side that morning. I decided to give him the attention he wanted. It was the last time he would have me to himself.  I just wanted to spend the morning in peace before we told people. "This is the most silent labor I've ever seen. Where are the dramatics?" Thembi asked, making me laugh.

We told everyone that afternoon. I was about four centimeters dilated and in an enormous amount of pain. "How's your pain now?"
"Seven." I answered this time. MaKhumalo and MaMthembu barged in the door, ruining our calm atmosphere. They asked a million questions, and they were just straight panicking. "Okay, ladies, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but the two of you are going to need to calm down and give her some space, please." Sphe said to them. At first, they looked offended. "Who's daughter do you think this is, and who's grandson do you think she's carrying?" MaKhumalo asked, and MaMthembu was right behind her, backing her up. "I don't care what your relationship with litha is. We've created a peaceful environment, and if I have to kick you out for it to remain that way, I will."

"Jabu are you going to let her talk to us like that?" MaMthembu tried gaining sympathy. "Yes, and the two of you can leave and come back when you've calmed down." They stood there gaping like fish. "Sorry baby." He let go of my hand and led our parents out. "You can come back in an hour if you've fixed your attitudes." The contractions became more frequent and it just felt like I wasn't dilating fast enough. We got dressed to go for a walk. I didn't know if I had the energy for it but I did it anyway.

Just as we were going out the door the parents showed up again. This time they had MaRadebe and Nthombifuti with them. "I've brought you gifts." MaRadebe said. "Okay, what do we say?" She spoke to them as if they were children in trouble. "We're sorry. We were out of line." Just as I was about to say something another couple contractions came. Jabu held me so I wouldn't fall. "Here. Take my hand." I took it and squeezed it as tight as I could. "That's it. Breathe. You're doing so good." His words of encouragement felt like heaven to me. This is everything that I wanted.

"You okay?" I nodded. "Can we start walking?" I nodded again. I said hi to everyone who seemed to be staring at us in awe. They came on the walked with us. I didn't know what it was helping, but it was nice to change the view. When we got home I just wanted to lay down. Nthombifuti spent some time with me and so did the moms. They eventually had to leave.

I was standing with my back against the the wall watching sphe prep the water. We were going non twenty hours and I felt like I was about to give up. It was just too painful. I started crying. "I'm tired. I'm tired. I can't do it anymore." She came and held my hands. "Yes you can. You're doing amazing. You've shocked all of us with your strength today. You can do this. Come on. Your baby boy is almost here."

I got in the water and expected some kind of instant relief. That didn't happen. Over time it did relax me.

Twenty six hours in and I finally started pushing. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I was so grateful it was happening at night because I didn't have the energy to deal with our parents. Baba kept massaging my back and encouraging me. I felt so loved.

Finally I heard the cries of my baby boy. I couldn't believe it. He was beautiful. I cried holding him. Both of us cried. "Why is he so tiny if I was so big?" I asked when we were finally all cleaned up and in bed. Sphe's assistant came and helped her clean up. It was still very early in the morning and she suggested we take a nap while baby boy was sleeping. We couldn't. We were too excited. 

"Baba, he needs a name." Each of us suggested names, but none of them fit him. We slept on it. He cried us awake and it was finally time for me to feed him. He latched on immediately. It was much easier than the first time.

"Your mothers have arrived. Can I let them in?" I guess we needed to introduce them at some point. Sphe let them in and it was instant tears. He was still feeding so they didn't want to disturb him. Sphe brought in chairs. "His so beautiful Litha. He looks just like Jabu." MaKhumalo said and I agreed. He looked like a replica of his older brother. "How is Jabu doing Ma?" Thembi took Jabu to my parents house. "Your father is spoiling him rotten. He hired a jumping castle yesterday just because." He what? "Ma, are you serious?" She nodded. "His aunts are also going crazy with the snacks. You'll need to take him to a dentist after this."

They could finally hold him. Watching them made me tear up even more. He cried and not one grandma could calm him. He wanted his mommy. "What is his name?" MaMthembu asked. "We're still deciding. Nothing so far has fit. They gave some name suggestions but we also didn't like them.

"He is so peaceful even when he cries. What about Xolani?" Baba and I looked at eachother. "I think that's the one. Xolani Dlomo."