La Santa Muerte

Worthless

doctor: im asking to figure out your history we tried looking and you have nothing?

maricela: my mother and father didnt believe in doctors or anything like that .. but yea i was physically and mentally abused since i was like 5 beat mostly hit in the head and things like that i was starved alot and malnourished she only started feeding me more when the teachers would notice honestly never sexually it almost happened but i stopped it and ran away

they nodded

maricela: if it needs to be done then just do it ok .. just lets get this over with so i can go home im sorry i did what i did i dont know why i punched anyone

doctor: its a reflex we all have it your just very strong and you've endured alot in this life but um where your parents now you ran off did you call the police?

maricela: they forced me to move to mexico and thats when i ran away i never looked back there illegal so they cant cross and i just pretend to be dead so eh but please im of age my kids are safe and sound so please

doctor: oo its nothing like that its a miracle you gave birth to healthy babies because yea its bad

maricela: that bad?

doctor: you shouldve never gotten pregnant its alot of damage miracle you havent bled out before it couldve happened and you couldve died

she nodded

maricela: miracles do exist thank you lets set it all up i wanna get healthy and be ok for my kids

doctor: we have the best team here we'll get on it dont worry

she nodded as they walked out .. maricela sat there not talking

giovani: this is why i didnt want them to bring it up it fucks with her

maricela: i wanna say she shouldve just killed me when she had the chance but i love my life now i love my kids i love it all im happy for once and then this happens? why does something always happen? like

emiliano: your thinking to hard into we all get sick it happens

maricela: it happens she beat me and abused me it happens?

emiliano: not like that look when the doctors told him i started doing my own research and looking for answer like i get the abuse and all that you killed her you got your revenge and shes gone now im not telling you to get over it but she wouldve wanted you to always remember her she was a narcissist .. this shit is in a way genetics you can look up medical records on your family and stuff it can be from your fathers side to

she nodded

emiliano: i just dont want you to blame yourself and talk down on yourself it aint on you you couldnt have stopped this you do know that?

maricela: stop being right i wanna be depressed dammit

giovani: well maybe this will help you with the depression

he got up and opened the room door

viviana: mami!!

marta walked in with maya and javi as viviana ran to her and jumped on the bed and hugged her maya hugged her tight to

maya: dont you ever scare me like that again? are you ok? what happened? why do you have these things around your hand?

she shook her head and took the ties off and hugged viviana and maya again and took javi from marta she hugged him and hugged marta

marta: its ok your getting the help you need

maricela: my first doctor said it could be cancer but it was cysts on my ovaries they want to remove my uterus and everything but i have to recover from this surgery first

marta hugged her again

marta: im just glad they figured it out they missed you so much look at him

javi was holding her hand tight and hugging her

giovani: i couldnt get him to sleep in his crib or in his nursery me and emiliano took turns trying to put him to sleep

maricela: i put him to sleep every night he has his own routine jus tlike vivi does and maya

maya hugged her again

maricela: you ok? dont cry maya?

maya: you dont understand when i got that text i panicked i got scared .. i cant loose you? your the mom ive never had you didnt birth me but you guys are my family and i love you and i dont want anything to ever happen to you

she hugged her again and looked at giovani

giovani: i was there for her and i reassured her it would all be ok but she worried

maricela: nothings going to happen to me im going to be ok i just have to recover now and see what the next steps are ok?

vivana: when are you coming home? i miss you tucking me in they dont do it right nana doesnt give me my bath right mami i need you home?

maricela: ill ask the doctor when he comes back but for now there going to take care of you and take you to school ill be home soon i promise

she nodded and hugged her ..

the day went by .. giovani took marta and the kids home

emiliano: so what do you think?

maricela: i really thought killing them would start an uproar somewhere but nothing?

emiliano: it was shoot out with pancho or whatever the old fucks name was and his homies had no aim as you can tell but other than that the buisness wasnt affected moneys flowing easily

maricela: good its the last thing i need is to be in some deeper shit i swear

the days went by and she was released she could barely walk but she pushed herself ..

giovani: stop staring at the pills your gonna pass out from the pain its ok to take them there doing there job

maricela: theres the thing i like it

giovani: its only a problem when you dont have any pain and your craving it .. your getting pale from the pain take them and your antibiotics with some food just one follow the directions your stronger than that

maricela nodded she took them and sat down

maricela: i been thinking

giovani: thats scary?

maricela: shut up um .. its like there going to take it all out and i know ill feel better but there it all goes ya know the kicks the happiness it brought me to feel javis lil kicks ya know its all going away and im gonna be worthless now

he looked at her surprised.