Dark mindset

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briana- should you even be driving? hows the pain?

maricela- im just sore thats all but i dont know what to do or say

briana- he did talk out of his ass im sorry about that but its all up to you its your body

maricela- yea it is im gonna take tonight to rest i gotta kill smokey now

briana- no?

maricela- ill text you that im driving up to the house

briana- your to calm thats scary if you need anything call me ill drive over with drinks and food

maricela-ill call haha

she ended the call as she got home and got down

marta: how did it go?

marta asked as she took javi from her

maricela: they gave me medicine for the pain

she nodded as giovani walked in

maricela: why would you take her? whats wrong with you?

giovani: she wouldn't let up and you do know she thinks this is gang related?

maya: yea i learned today that its not like that but i wanted to go get out of the house i dont wanna join i just wanna see the fun but are you ok? why do you look pale? your to calm?

she said as she hugged maricela

maricela: it wasn't a miscarriage

giovani looked at marta

marta: wait what?

maya stepped back and looked at her as she shook her head

giovani; what happened?

maricela: can you tell me what happened?

giovani: what?

maricela: why is he still alive? what i really dont fucking matter you let that fucker walk?

giovani: i got him beat to the pulp and pistol whipped and cut everything to him hes broke he wont work for us again? you want him dead or to suffer?

she sighed and sat down at the counter

marta: whatever that idiot said does not matter what matters is whats going on? it wasn't a miscarriage? then what is causing this pain?

maya: you said it felt like live labor?

maricela: masses on my ovaries are causing the extreme sharp cramps i been having them for a while but they just got worse and go away i thought it was i dont know they weren't there when i first got checked out after i gave birth to javi but i got meds that are suppose to shrink them if they dont then they'll check if its cancerous i can have them removed to

giovani: money ain't a problem why not have them checked already why wait to see if they shrink or something? and you been going to the doctor? like?

maricela: money can buy a lot but i still got a shitty doctor i got a referral to another already im waiting to be set up

marta: did you ask what could cause this? or like?

maricela; no but i used to get punched a lot in the stomach as a kid when i wouldn't eat my dinner also cancer ran in the family

maya: what do you mean by ran in the family you mean runs in the family you have a family?

maricela; i have my own but i killed the blood line that lead up to me but i dont know honestly i asked the doctor if i could just have it removed fuck it and he made me feel guilty

marta: how?

maricela: if they take my ovaries there's goes ever having another baby as i held javi so im like whatever right now im gonna go lay down pick up vivi ok?

giovani: yea .. but if its what you want then do it? do whats best for you?

maricela: i dont even know whats best for me im all over .. i just wanna be left alone ok

he nodded as she went upstairs ..

giovani: let her have her time vivis out in a bit im gonna go out do some work and get her maya you good?

maya: yea im good i got javi dont worry

he nodded and left ..

maya: is she ok?

marta: depression is a real thing but sometimes we all need our own space mostly after news like that ya know she'll be ok shes strong

maya: yea she is

she sat down with javi at the table and started on her homework ..

emiliano: what do you mean you cant tell me what the fuck do you know?

giovani: its complicated ok you should hear it from her i dont want her getting more mad or hating me more

emiliano: i honestly dont know if that is possible cuz with the shit that comes out your fucking mouth you finally thinking before you speak or what?

giovani shook his head

giovani: all i know is this took a hit shes feeling down and she wanted to be alone while vivi is at school i dont know ya know

emiliano: what the fuck?

giovani: it wasn't a miscarriage thats all im gonna say you should hear the rest from her

emiliano: shit you pick up vivi ill get some dinner have it all set then ill go bug her see if i can get her out of that state of mind

giovani: i hope you can .. cuz i feel like all i do is make things worse for her man i aint my dad hes the one that had the advice that comforted people more im just fucking stupid and i hate myself

he put his hand on his shoulder

emiliano: our fathers where once us fucking up and doing dumb shit i aint no angel why do you think im alone .. we learn from our mistakes and learn to become better your dad was never that fucking loving man he was cruel and a big ass monster that softened up you know that .. we'll get there to you just gotta step back and be there ill go talk to her see whats up but you good here? you good to get vivi?

giovani: yea im good im gonna pick her up and go see my dad im missing him a lil more today

emiliano: go for it leave a rose for me

he nodded as he left he picked up food and got to the house

maya: shes upstairs rooms dark

emiliano: ok

he walked up and knocked

maricela: is viviana home?

emiliano: not yet why?

maricela: then leave me alone!

he sighed as he stood outside of her door ..

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