20 | a house unwanted as a home

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—TWO DAYS AGO—
...

"bar's pregnant."

the two words hit me like a punch in the throat.

"what?" i backed away, but the hand that was curled around his palm stayed there and did not move. "what do you mean?"

his chest rose and fell, stepping one foot in front of the other to make up for the foot i used to step back from him. i tilted my head to one side, the curve to my arched brows straightened out.

"she called me after i went to the store to get the diapers, and she just told me." he shrugged like it didn't matter to him, but his expression told me otherwise. my jaw lifted the pressure from my teeth while i studied his features to understand what that meant for the two of us.

"really?" i was startled to hear about a pregnancy i never even considered. but as i stared into his lost eyes, mine moving back and forth between the pair, i began to feel like he wasn't thrilled, or didn't want to bear the responsibility. "i'm shocked. how do you feel about it?"

he extended his neck to gaze up to the ceiling he could practically touch with an arm high in the air. he stood on his heels, his body rocking side to side. "i don't know, i mean, i've always wanted to be a father—"

"oh, then that's lovely darling. i'm so happy for you." though in the back of my mind i was slightly worried about the effects of the news regarding our new relationship. all my thoughts i tried to brush off my shoulders, though, as i knew what he wanted for his life, and there wasn't anything i had to worry about.

his eyes backed away from the ceiling, shifting them toward mine. there was not a grin to be found, or a hint of happiness anywhere throughout his toes all the way to his head. noting his unchanged persona, i tightened the grip on his hand until i could feel a pulse where there shouldn't have been one.

"there's something else, too." words that scared the living hell out of me as my mind could not help but to look at the very worst. but somehow, though my mind crossed it for a second before, i never thought he would actually say it. i never thought a betrayal, a fantasy in my thoughts, could actually manifest into a reality. so instead, it was something i never saw coming.

"she said i would need to leave you for the baby."

then my warm body became cold, the grip i had on his hand immediately loosened as i stepped away at the sound of it. but i wasn't convinced just yet, considering the authenticity of our relationship, and the force of our love no older than a newborn.

with a steady voice i made sure, the bizarre thoughts that filled me were merely thoughts that weren't true. "but you choose me, right?"

though i was completely and utterly unsure.

there were two blinks and a pause that gave me an answer before he even replied. i gulped down nothing in particular, just doing so out of fear, panic, and terror. it wasn't validated until he said so himself, i tried to tell myself, because what wrong did i do to deserve to lose the one i loved the most?

as if he had sunk beneath the ruins, he let out a mumble i could hardly hear with my deafening heart between my ribcage.

"i'm sorry."

Pretentiously Simple | Kleo ✔️Where stories live. Discover now