[INTERVIEW] April Edition 2015 of 'Singles' - Rap Monster
yasuis:
(Bold is the interviewer's words)
Rap Monster's 'Real' Story
When I think of Rapmon, the first thing I think of is when other people would say 'he's a genius!' during your trainee days. Since everyone said that, I just assumed it was so, but on the other hand, I had thoughts of resistance like 'What? Just what is so amazing?'.
What do you mean genius... The fact that people look at me like that is like.. It's probably because I give off the feeling of a philosopher in a small room. I have a lot of thoughts for my age. How the world is, what kind of person I am, what kind of relationship I have with the world... Because I wanted to know things like this, I read Nietzsche, and looked up and read things like Carnegie psychology... Since a young child is having thoughts like that, and it gets expressed through music... that's why they think I'm a genius.
Since you're a 21-year old investigating the existential root and relationship of the world and one's self-conscience, it seems a bit new. There are many things in the world to be enjoyed simply, and the more simple it is, there's the aspect of life being easier and more fun, so just why do you have such complicated thoughts?
It's kind of like a Middle School 2nd Year syndrome [explanation] (laughter). But the 2nd year syndrome isn't only a bad thing. I started writing poetry since my 2nd year of elementary school. Since then, I think I was obsessed with despair and loneliness, and the relationship between my self-conscience and the world. Among the poems I wrote then, there was a poem where I compared myself with a fallen leaf, but I feel enjoyment out of dividing myself and the world, looking into that, and thinking about it. A feeling that feels like I'm living, it feels like I'm doing something. Ah! There are times where I feel like a genius. Times when I think 'Oh, how did I write this?'. Even after I write it, there are times I get assurance in it being 'wow!' quality, and when I show that to people, I sometimes get the same feedback. Although it can be viewed as narcissism, 'it seems like I have the ability to catch what really touches people', is the thought I get. But times like that are very short, and most of the time, it's a repetition of frustration and pain.
Please explain further on your times of failure and pain. People like listening to others' times of frustration and pain, especially one of a genius (laughter).
Frustration was like, something that came to me hundreds of times a day. I'm currently working on the next Bangtan album, but I worked on my mixtape for awhile. However, the styles between those two are completely different. So I would get stuck at each word and each lyric, then become frustration... For a short story as an example, I only had to make a few words from last night at 9 to this morning, but I just kept doing other things till 2:30 AM. I went online to a community and looked at posts, looked at useless comics, and saw the news... And while doing that, I turned my computer back on at 7 AM and started making it. Once I write it like that and get the thought of, 'Huh? I like this. I have confidence in this', then I feel very happy and enjoyable, but that kind of moment doesn't come easily. That's why it's hard. I think like, 'ah, I know how to do this much, but I can't even do this'... I wonder if this is the 'pain of creation' that people talk about. However, I have to win through it. I need to win through it.
Why are you releasing a mixtape? When I see the path that BTS has walked on during the last few years, I feel like you guys have been fighting the prejudiced thought that 'Idols are doing hip-hop? Do you guys know hip-hop?', but is that part of it?
That also is a part of it. When I see GD or Zico hyungnim, they're very good at doing music, but there are people that still don't acknowledge them for the sole reason that they are idols. First off, I'm releasing a mixtape because I have confidence, but if there are those who won't acknowledge that it's hip-hop even when I'm doing all this, then there's nothing more I can do... I have a thought like that.
BINABASA MO ANG
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